I found this in an old e-mail. I know the
‘perfect priest’ is an adaptation of ‘perfect pastor’ lists that have been
around for ages, but am not sure where the additions about the Presbytera
originally appeared. Enjoy.
The Perfect Priest and the Perfect Presbytera
1) The Perfect Priest preaches exactly 10
minutes. He condemns sin roundly, but never hurts anyone’s feelings. He works
from 8:00 a.m. until midnight, and is also the church’s janitor.
– The Perfect Presbytera is very
articulate. She never says a word at church meetings. She has a full-time,
high-paying career, and home schools at least 3 kids. She never misses a church
service, fundraiser or social event.
2) The Perfect Priest makes $140.00 per week,
wears gold clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $1000.00 to
the parish. He is 30 years old and has 40 years experience.
– The Perfect Presbytera drives her
kids to their lessons in a late model mini-van that won’t embarrass the
congregation, in between washing clothes in ecologically correct laundry
detergent, making healthy balanced meals from scratch, and recycling all the
bottles, boxes and cans in the house.
3) He is above all else handsome.
– The Perfect Presbytera stands up
for the sanctity of marriage. She never minds all those females flocking around
her handsome husband, or him being home late from church meetings night after
night. After all, she too is unspeakably gorgeous. She never wears any makeup
or spends money that should go to the poor on a hairdresser. She is always
dressed in the height of fashion. Her babushka scarf, loafers and ankle-length
skirts come from the Thrift Shop.
4) The Perfect Priest has a burning desire to
work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with senior citizens.
– The Perfect Presbytera is totally
devoted to motherhood. She spends all her time visiting the shut-ins, calling
people who were away from liturgy last week, and volunteering in the community.
She behaves modestly, keeping in the background at church. She directs the
choir, co-ordinates the Sunday School, leads the women’s group and organizes
the perogie-making bee.
5) He smiles all the time with a straight face,
because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his
parish. He makes 20 calls a day to his people and is always in his office to be
handy when needed. The Perfect Priest always has time for the parish council
and all its committees and sub-committees.
– The Perfect Presbytera is
completely open with parishoners about her personal struggles. They never hear
a word of complaint from her. She certainly does not show favoritism. She is
very close friends with the people in the parish who matter.
6) He never misses the meeting of any parish
organization and he is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.
– The Perfect Presbytera is
irreproachable when it comes to minding her own business. She makes sure Father
is informed about everyone in the parish who is sick, troubled, or annoyed at
the footwear choices of the altar servers.
7) The Perfect Priest is always in the next
parish over!
– Strangely enough, even the
Perfect Priest in the next parish over doesn’t seem to have a Perfect
Presbytera!
8) Actually, the Perfect priest is one who is
willing to give up his life for Christ if necessary… that’s the Perfect Priest!
– Couldn’t say it better: the
Perfect Presbytera either.
Source: http://goodguyswearblack.org/2011/07/21/the-perfect-priest-the-perfect-presbytera/
CONVERSATION