You can
better help your priest and bishop by understanding this one thing: parish
priests feel pressures that are found in no other profession. The type of man
that generally is drawn into the holy priesthood is one who has a heart for
serving others. Bishops and priests are often expected to do far more than is
humanly possible. Bishops, as fathers to their people, are expected to be
superhuman, judged if they are not.
Over the
years I’ve heard terrible stories of parish priests having to cancel vacations
at the last minute because of sudden deaths in their parishes, requiring them
to cancel airline tickets, leaving both they and their families without the
much-needed time away. One priest told me how his young son had been looking
forward to a camping trip and cried when his dad had to tell him they couldn’t
go because an important member of a family in a parish had died and he was
required to be there. The family rejected having another priest step in.
Countless
priests have put in long hours missing dinner with their families because of
wedding rehearsals, hospital calls, counseling sessions. The average priest
gets Monday off, yet is expected to forego his only day off if someone needs to
see him or the parish council decides to have a meeting that evening. They
demand their priest be available whenever they need him, regardless of the time
of day or the needs of his family.
One
priest told me about having performed a baptism of a child of a family that
rarely came to church, only to have them walk out immediately following the
service, leaving him to mop-up the spilled water while they and their friends
ran off to celebrate at a restaurant. He was given a pitiful stipend for his
services, and he just dropped it into the poor box. They didn’t even invite him
to join them at the restaurant. He said he wouldn’t have had time to join them
anyway, but the invitation to do so would have been nice.
Most
clergy receive a very small salary and are expected by their parishioners to be
happy with what they have. The stipend is thus very important to the priest,
yet I know of countless clergy who travel many miles from their rectory, bless
the home, and receive nothing for their services.
The
normal stipend for most jurisdictions for extra services like this is $100.
This is not payment for the services of a priest. The priest doesn’t charge you
for these things. These are simply gift-offerings to show the priest that you
love and care for him and sometimes this is the only money that he has to get
that little extra something for his wife or children.
Like all
children, priests’ kids need time with their father. Normal jobs allow dads to
leave their work and go home, giving themselves plenty of time to meet the
needs of their children, but not in the case of clergy. Being on call 24/7, the
families of priests often forgo planned meals, outings, and family affairs
because of the demands of the people, placing them upon their father or
husband. Most priests have such a strong desire to be in service, they simply
cannot say no.
The
children of priests, as well as their wives, also must suffer the undo scrutiny
of parishioners, expected as they are to be perfect. Given all of this, is it
any wonder that children of priests often wouldn’t think of becoming priests
themselves? Please, whatever you do, don’t criticize your priest in front of
his family.
How often
I’ve heard priests’ wives and children lament, having to put up with the tax on
their husbands/fathers by people who don’t think he’s doing enough. People
airing their grievances at parish meetings with the children and wives having
to hear it all is unfair.
I share
all this with my listeners because most of you are unaware of how difficult a
job your priest has and how much is demanded of his time. Most of you love your
priest, but are just unaware that he rarely gets his own needs met. I remember one priest in Detroit who lived in
sub-standard housing while all of his parishioners lived in nice homes. No one
made any effort to make sure their priest, single in this case, was living in
medium-income housing, somewhere in the middle of all his people, the norm of
most Protestant churches.
How can a
priest take care of the education of his children, when his salary is the
poverty line? One horror story I remember hearing was of a priest whose parish
council gave him an increase in salary that put him just over the line so that
he’d no longer qualify for food stamps, since this made the parish look bad.
The priest and his family ended up with less rather than more.
All of
the above could be said for bishops as well. We really need to start taking
care of our bishops, making sure they have adequate compensation, days off for
restoration of soul, and proper rest. And a whole lot less criticism from their
people. Love your priests and bishops, just as they love you. Give them
support, show them you care by sending them a little gift on their name’s day
or e-mailing them on occasion, letting them know you care about them. Tell them
when you’ve liked their homily. Invite [them] and their family to dinner on
occasion. Let them know you care. Remember your bishop and priest with a
thoughtful little gift or a check on Christmas and Pascha. Let them know you
care about them.
Make sure
the parish council knows you think your priest should receive a proper salary.
You’d be shocked at the average income of most Protestant clergy compared to
what most Orthodox priests receive. The life of your priest can be greatly
extended if you don’t allow him to work himself to death. Make sure he does
take at least one day off. Tell him to turn off his cell phone on those days.
Call the rectory before knocking at the door. You have no idea how many
priests’ evening plans with their families are derailed with a knock at the
door.
I’m
sharing this with all of you because I know your priest will not tell you this.
He loves you, and he loves Christ, whom he serves. Make him pace himself, and
you’ll have him around to baptize your grandchildren. Don’t expect him to be
perfect. Most importantly, pray for your bishop and your priest. Honor and love
them and refrain from judging them.
Source: https://blogs.ancientfaith.com/morningoffering/2014/01/how-to-support-your-priest-you-can/
CONVERSATION