People often find their true calling later in
life. Sometimes the work they choose to do does not coincide with the kinds of
work that are deemed typical of males or females.
Our first guest is Victor Churilo. Victor is
51, and he serves in the Visiting Nurse Service of St Elisabeth Convent. In
short, he is a visiting nurse.
He visits those whom we won't see in the
streets. These people have a hard time walking, standing, and even sitting.
Some of them are confined to bed. LADY.TUT.BY did an interview with Victor and
his patient Denis Neverko.
All Wives Want Their Husbands To Earn More
Victor
treats his ministry in the Visiting Nurse Service as a vocation. It is very
close to what he used to do in the past. He worked as a junior nurse in an
infirmary. He had planned to become a doctor but he couldn't. Later, he learned
to be a stonemason and worked as a builder for a long time, then started
working in an industrial plant, and in the 1990s he even had to set up his own
shop. Confronted with difficulties in his personal life, Victor went to the
Convent:
— I found
the faith in God, Jesus Christ, and I wanted to be closer to him. Difficulties
in my life and deep sorrow made me come here, — Victor says. — I did it to
recover spiritually, mentally, and physically.
Nowadays
Victor is extremely busy 6 days a week. He looks after 5 patients: four males
and one female.
— I visit
three of my patients regularly, and two others on request. I get to my first
patient at 8:30 am. We have a conversation; I ask him about his current health
condition and mood. After that, I do sanitization, change the patient's
clothes, and feed him, if necessary. I go to my second patient in the
afternoon, and to my third patient in the evening. Each visit takes up two to
three hours on average. Sunday is my day-off.
According
to Victor, the Visiting Nurse Service of St Elisabeth Convent encompasses three
fields of ministry:
—
Missionary work. We help people to get closer to God and to know themselves
better. We can invite a priest from the Visiting Nurse Service to a patient's
home, if the patient wants us to, and the priest will perform the Sacraments of
Confession and Communion. This is where the healing of the spirit, the soul,
and the body of a believer begins. Loving God and neighbor is the basis of our
ministry.
— Social
work. We do everything a person requires for a normal and comfortable life:
feeding, bathing, buying food supplies and medicines. We talk with our patients
and read books to them.
— Medical
assistance. Every brother and sister has basic medical training. We have
meetings and classes on exercise therapy in the Convent on a weekly basis. We
do the exercises that we have learned together with our patients to the best of
their abilities and health condition.
Victor
emphasizes that money is not the primary goal for a person who has decided to
help other people.
— There
are many people in our Visiting Nurse Service who do their duties voluntarily
and for free. The remuneration that we receive is enough to subsist and to
continue to help others. I know that all wives want their husbands to earn
more. However, you receive much more spiritually when you do good to other
people. Giving is more rewarding than receiving.
We hope
that the Lord will bring to us another person who is ready to help.
It is
hard to find a male nurse.
When
asked why there are more female nurses than male nurses, Victor replies that a
woman is more capable of tolerating the difficulties of this job thanks to her
innate patience, mercy, and love.
—
However, men are also very welcome here! It is physically hard for a woman to
care for a male patient. Just imagine her trying to take a man from his
wheelchair and put him into a bathtub. It requires physical strength of a man.
Again, there are men who don't want women to look after them. This is the kind
of problem that I have to face now. I am torn between two male patients who
prefer to have a man as their nurse. That is why we hope that the Lord will
bring to us another person who is ready to help.
Victor is
not in the very least embarrassed that he apparently does a "female
job." It may even be emotionally taxing to tend to a person who needs
help. That is why a nurse must know how to manage his or her feelings:
— That's
hard work. At the same time, you obtain spiritual joy as a result of what you
do. Knowledge of the Gospel and the lives of the saints helps to find proper
words in difficult situations. When you know that your assistance is essential
for that person, your patience and humility, your love coupled with prayer,
help you to get rid of unnecessary thoughts and emotions.
I used to
be weaker than now. By serving God with love, we become stronger spiritually.
Our lives become genuinely meaningful from the spiritual standpoint. It is what
I do that makes me stronger.
"Victor Is Closer To Me Than My Own
Family"
Denis
Neverko has been paralyzed for four years, two of which Victor comes to him. He
jumped from a dam into water in an unknown place and fractured his spine.
— It was
extremely hot, and I wanted to bathe. I jumped into the water headfirst and hit
a cement block. It turned out to be a shallow place.
Denis
feels comfortable with the big and strong Victor. The man admits that Victor
has become his good friend whom he can trust even in the most difficult
situations.
— Victor
is kind and responsible. I can always rely on him. Apart from that, I feel more
comfortable when a man, not a woman, looks after me. I am very happy that our
paths have crossed.
Denis
learned about the Visiting Nurse Service of St Elisabeth Convent from his
friend. He contacted Sister Anna, the Service's head. He told her that he was
fully paralyzed, and explained what kind of a nurse he needed. They agreed to
send Brother Victor to him. Denis was hoping that the nurse would be a sociable
and understanding person, which is vital for people like him who lead a
secluded life.
Victor is
closer to me than my own family. I started to believe in God thanks to him. I
used to be far from the faith but now I can feel that I change and so does my
worldview. I start to discover alternative sides of life. I start to interpret
not only the things that happen to me but also other things in a different way.
Denis has
had more live conversations since the time Victor started visiting him but he
complains that he still needs more live conversations anyway.
— I talk
with people like me via Skype, VKontakte and Facebook messages, and even in the
Odnoklassniki social network but it's not enough. I’m happy even if my friends
visit me once a month, although they used to come more often. Now they have
families and jobs — a lot to do. I get that, and I'm okay with that. Right now,
I'm looking for a job. I would like to become a call center operator. I have
worked in this position already. I will be able to talk with people on the
phone. Plus, I'll be able to earn some money and kill some time.
"Summer Was The Last Time I Was
Outdoors"
For
Denis, every day is just like the other. He spends his time in front of a
computer, which he controls via a webcam. He can seldom get outdoors — summer
was the last time Denis was outdoors.
— Right
now, given the weather, it's impossible to get out. We get outdoors only if we
are invited to various events. For instance, Victor and I visited a lecture by
Alexander Makarchuk who is completely paralyzed, too. He showed us how people
with disabilities can use a computer thanks to wireless management.
Alexander
Makarchuk was completely paralyzed after a poisoning, which led to the damage
of central nervous system. He was considering a suicide but instead became a
sysadmin and worked for Russian companies, and then went on to be an IT
recruiter. Alexander controls his computer with voice and teaches other
disabled people. —editor's note.
I am
interested in a whole lot of various things, and I would like to be everywhere
— in the cinema, in the circus, in theaters. I want to go anywhere instead of
sitting home. However, it is easier said than done. First of all, I need an
escort, and Victor isn't always available. Secondly, theater tickets are
expensive. I cannot afford them on my pension. My budget is planned in advance
and it mostly consists of hygiene accessories and medicines, which I have to
buy monthly. My parents are retired, too. Thirdly, I need transportation. This
is why whenever I go outdoors, it's like a holiday.
According
to Denis, if a disabled person can move his arms, he is more likely to lead a
normal life. He can operate a wheelchair. People like Denis cannot do it
without help.
— I
cannot dress, I cannot get into the wheelchair, someone has to do it for me. I
cannot ride the wheelchair, either. There are many people like me. Other people
don't even know us. People are locked in their rooms. With time, they create a
world of their own, the boundaries of which are hard to break. People on the
outside appear to be aggressive and hostile. We desperately need support and
assistance not only from our families but also from other people… We have to
live with our problems day by day. That is why it is important that we have
people who don't allow us to close up in our own shells and empower us to keep
living. I would like everyone to know that we exist. You just cannot see us.
An
article by Tatiana Lemeshevskaya
Photos by
Vladimir Bugay, TUT.BY
Translated from: https://lady.tut.by/news/life/565870.html
CONVERSATION