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| Archimandrite Andrew (Konanos) |
A truly faithful person will help you to save your
marriage with your beloved person, but not to divorce. Of course, people who
live in Christ cannot give you such strange, destructive and groundless
advice. Do not be shy to ask for help! Ask for advice and support to save your
marriage. You cannot solve this problem on your own, especially when your mind
is completely blocked.
Einstein said important things: a mind cannot solve
the problem that it has generated by itself. There must be another mind that
will help cope with it. It is known that when people are angry, the first
thoughts that come to their mind are like “I will divorce you”, “I will avenge”,
“I will show my strength”. The most dramatic thoughts come to your mind at this
moment. But you need to think a bit. And then ask for help. Apostle Paul says: “We
have the mind of Christ”. Place your mind near Christ and say: “My God, enlighten
me with Your own mind, which is full of light, love and wisdom, and say me what to do”. Ask
the one who you trust. Your relative, for example.
“Tell me, what should I do? What is my mistake” Rather,
“What is my mistake?” Have you ever said that? Or do you act like the majority
of couples, who are always concerned that it is the other’s fault?
If you learn to ask “What is my mistake?”, then things
will get better. However, since we are rather diplomatic at home, we never say
like this. It is always someone else’s fault. Not yours. You always justify yourself.
You are so lucky that you are married. You have a
great opportunity to spend pleasant moments together, to perceive your own soul
and the soul of your close one – you husband or wife. This is a great treasure in your life!
Do not turn into a horse galloping on its own back.
This is not good. What is more, this will not help you in your life. There is
two of us! Ride ahead together! We can even say that there is a beautiful
rivalry between you. You look at one another and get inspired for working on
yourself. Your marriage is a great opportunity for your spiritual development,
self-knowledge and flourishing. Do not deprive yourself of this gift granted by
God. Also, wherever you go, your problem will haunt you.
One a man came to me and said that he wanted to
divorce. I said, “Well, divorce your wife, but this does not mean at all that
in new relationships you will become an angel. You will remain what you are. This
is why you need to do your best to make your current marriage better, try to improve
your own nature. If nothing changes, then we will talk about it. Even if you
begin to live with another woman now, you will finally get into a fight. Your
wife is not the problem here. You are the problem, too”.
From the book by Archimandrite Andrew (Konanos),
“There are certain difficulties in marriage…”
Source: http://pravlife.org/ru/content/arhim-andrey-konanos-sovetuet-chto-nuzhno-obyazatelno-sdelat-esli-reshil-razvestis
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