The value
of tradition as the best experience of our ancestors, accumulated, refined, and
transmitted, has been, alas, devalued in our days. The modern Orthodox family,
the husband and wife of which are often not brought up by faithful parents, is
compelled to seek new ways to orient their everyday life.
Over the
course of the many centuries of Christian history, the Russian people created a
universal system of family values, which, having moral categories, is always
clearly manifested externally: in expressions, relations, and organization of
space. We will try to speak a bit about this in the present article.
The
typical conversation on the patriarchal Russian family by and large begins with
the Gospel and ends inevitably with The Domostroi.[1] The work of Sylvester,
written in the long-ago sixteenth century, until now partially, and sometimes
wholly has a place to serve as a guide to family life. Of course, a
full-fledged application of the rules of this monument of ancient Russian
literature is extremely rare, often in the closed communities of the Old
Believers, living far from civilization in rural areas.
In
Edinovertsi families today you can find various situations of home structuring:
Society invariably influences us all. Although patriarchy has persisted,
certainly not every woman is just a homemaker, and can stand with her husband
among the bread winners; but such situations are the exception rather than the
rule.
Trying to
summarize the main principles of Edinovertsi families, we note such features as
soundness, rigor, and responsibility in the approach to literally everything.
Spoiling children in such families is unacceptable; they are acclimated to
prayer and labor from an early age. In our pampered society, among Orthodox you
can often find opposition to the methods of their ancestors in matters of
rearing, as antiquated and even inhumane, to which Edinovertsi always
unhesitatingly reply: Strictness in childhood helps to easily overcome
challenges in adulthood. Additionally, such an approach more easily makes
children true, independent helpers of their parents, allowing fathers and
mothers to save energy, money, and time in solving family issues. For example,
I once saw how a three-year-old son helped his father do some repair work. This
boy was well-versed in tools, not whiny, and was very quick to respond to his
father’s request for a hammer. I know of one case where a dinner prepared by
their teenage daughter always awaits both working parents, and the apartment is
always maintained in good order. Edinovertsi believe that a child’s energy
needs to be channeled in a constructive direction from an early age, not
corrupting the tender soul with excessive baby talk. They look at boys and
girls as men and women from birth, weaving gender-exclusive elements into their
upbringing. Surviving Edinovertsi folk traditions (now available in many forms
online) help with this. Thus, they can sing short lullabies to boys, which
somewhat differ in content from those for girls.
The
family is perceived as one whole, where the husband is the head, and the wife
and children a part of the body, which must be taken care of. On serious family
questions, the husband and wife, of course, take counsel with one another.
There is no bawdy authoritarianism in the governance of the family on the part
of the husband to speak of, as it was presented and successfully planted in the
heads of the intelligentsia in the Soviet era. Polite, respectful
communication, soft speech, and striving to refrain from yelling in difficult
moments are all important values for daily Edinovertsi life.
Inasmuch
as worship occupies the central place in the life of a Edinovertsi family, morning
and evening prayers, as a rule, become the most important family ritual. Prayer
corners, and sometimes entire prayer rooms, are arranged quite carefully.
Electric lighting is not used during prayer, but lamps and candles are lit.
Depending on the decision of the head of the family, passages from the morning
and evening prayers (Midnight Office and Compline) can be distributed between
the children to be read. In the evening, as a rule, there are soul-profiting
readings from the Gospel and other spiritual books with incumbent
interpretation and discussion.
It is
important that meals in Edinovertsi families do not begin until the head of the
family has come to the table. This seemingly very simple ritual forms a sense
of understanding of family hierarchy in children.
Everyday
clothes may differ from the folk clothing worn in church, but there is a clear
tendency among young Edinovertsi families to wear the national dress at home,
or to strive to maintain a specific style. Morning gowns, shorts, and crop tops
will not be seen on the adult members of the family. Children, of course, are
also habituated to a certain style of dress: skirts for girls, pants for boys.
Clothing itself is not sacralized in Edinovertsi families, but there is homage
to tradition and the belief that the inner man will certainly be expressed in
the external—after all, we are creatures of flesh and blood.
Edinovertsi
strive to teach their children Church reading and handicrafts from an early
age. Some are brought onto the kliros, some freely read the psalms already from
the age of seven, some master iconography, and some help their mothers make
lestovkas (the Old Believer version of the prayer rope). Work is elevated to a
cult, in a good sense; children are raised with diligence, which is a good tool
in the struggle with the passions. A man who can work, according to the
Edinovertsi, will be alright.
Edinovertsi
strive to teach their children to take a blessing from their parents in all
matters. In any case, the whole family is blessed by the father after a meal
and before bed. The relationship of children with their parents is very close.
Here again it is necessary to dispel the myth about some petty tyranny in
relations with children; everything is based on the principles of love,
evangelical laws, communication, and involvement in the problems and interests
of the children.
The order
and cleanliness of Orthodox Old Believers’ homes catch your eye. The families
are very thrifty and prudent in their spending. A certain taste is always felt
in their interior, with elements of folk culture.
Of
course, the everyday life of the Edinovertsi is not just a copy of the
lifestyle of Russian Christians of the seventeenth century. However, valuable
experience, regardless of historical age, remains valuable experience at any
time, in our view. It is also worth noting that in the same seventeenth
century, people’s daily lives were immersed in the Church. This of course
emphasizes a certain wholeness and integrity to their worldview, which
certainly cannot be ignored.
Experience
in structuring a family, raising children, and also of running a household,
passed on from generation to generation in Edinoversti families will
undoubtedly be valuable to all children of the Russian Orthodox Church. When
the world literally gangs up on faith in Christ and traditional values, it will
be vitally important to have powerful protection, through which the enemy will
not be able to inflict spiritual harm upon us. The family is the foundation of
the state. The traditional family is its reliable foundation.
By Vladimir Basenkov
Source: http://orthochristian.com/106428.html
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