Presbytera Mari
Mars offers a few tips on helping your child grow in their relationship with
Christ in order to become a faithful Orthodox Adult.
In my former position as youth coordinator of the Greek Orthodox Metropolis of Atlanta,
there was one thing that I learned early on which motivated me for the duration
of my tenure in the position, and still motivates me today. It sent
chills up my spine. It was the indicator that we have to turn the tide,
change the direction of how we are raising our children. It was that
scary picture that made everyone gasp when you’d tell them. As told to us
by our Archdiocese, two recent studies (one by the Pew forum and one by the Patriarch
Athenagoras Institute) indicated that 60%
OF OUR ORTHODOX CHILDREN ARE LEAVING THE CHURCH and never returning to the
Orthodox Faith. Scary, right?
Every time I
would mention this to someone, I would get the question, “so how do I prevent
it?” There are certainly no magic pills that will ensure your child grows
up with a strong, devout faith in Christ through His Orthodox Church. But
that doesn’t mean we can abdicate our responsibility to GOYA or the priest,
either, to ensure that our Orthodox Children become Orthodox adults. It
is our job to raise them in the faith. In which case…
There are a few
specific things that you can include in the raising of your children which
would help them build a strong foundation of faith and a lasting relationship
with God.
MOST IMPORTANT
(take notes here): PRAY FOR YOUR
CHILDREN! Every day, all the time. Open an ongoing
dialogue with God about your child, what they are facing, what they are going
through. Give your child back to God (after all, they do belong to Him!).
Ask the Theotokos, or Saints Joachim and Anna to help you as a parent.
Ask God that He help you to raise your children to His glory. Ask
Him to fill their hearts with His love… You get the idea.
Speaking of
prayer… You know the old saying: the family
that prays together stays together! It doesn’t have to be
anything fancy. Praying at meals, and spending a few minutes in the
morning and before bedtime saying the Lord’s Prayer, thanking God for the
people in your life and the good things (and don’t forget to thank him for the
challenges, too!), and asking for what your family needs are good places to
start.
Also imperative,
of course, is to take your children
to Church. And when I say this, I don’t mean walk in the door
before right before communion, walk up, receive communion, and walk out, as
though it’s a drive thru. This is an unfortunate practice of some parents
who are afraid to come for the entire service for fear the kids will misbehave.
Go for the whole bit! Arrive at the Doxology! Leave after
coffee hour! If you need help with how to manage and engage your kids
(because engaging is part of your responsibility, otherwise what’s the point of
coming to Church? They can color and play with dolls at home), see our article
about tips for engaging kids in Church.
Talk to your
kids about God. Many parents think that this is not their place, that the
Church should do the talking. But one priest in a parish of 200 or 500 or
1000 families can’t possibly talk to your children as much as you can.
And the example that they need to learn from is yours. If they ask
a question you don’t know the answer to, don’t worry. Find the answer
together by using the resources the Church offers (like your priest or Church
websites). Either way, just engage them in discussion about their
experiences in Church, about what they prayed for today, about how God helped
them today… Anything having to do with their faith and God. Talking to your kids about God will
raise their perception so that they are able to see God in all things.
Emphasize the
right set of priorities and stick to your guns. There are so many
extracurricular activities and distractions that take us away from the life of
the Church. For instance, soccer leagues that travel on Sundays for
games… Which is the priority, soccer or Church? Now, understand that my
Dad was a semi-pro soccer player, coached soccer, and I played soccer growing
up. I’m not hating on soccer. But,
when facing this choice, ask yourself this question: When my child is 35 and
struggling with the challenges that life inevitably brings with it (like
marital problems), which is going to help them- their relationship with God, or
soccer?
We often forget
to think long term or to see the big picture. We see the benefits of
soccer as an extracurricular activity that looks good on a college transcript
or might even provide a college scholarship. But we neglect to look
BEYOND that and realize that the most important investment in our child is the
long term investment we make in their journey through life to salvation. Remember that your child will learn by
modeling from your decision. Will they learn to prioritize their
relationship with God or with soccer?
If we all, as
Orthodox Christians, did these simple things: pray for our children, pray with
our children, talk about God more, and go to Church more, then the world would
be a very different place. We would see that 60% dwindle to nothing. May
our Lord God and Savior Jesus Christ give us all the wisdom and discernment to
guide our children to a life in Him!
Source: http://www.familylifeministry.atlanta.goarch.org/raising-orthodox-children-to-orthodox-adulthood/
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