By Fr.
Andrew Lemeshonok
The
Church records the life stories of the saints to encourage us and set an
example for us. The stories about martyrs whose arms were cut off one by one
read as though it was easy and painless. It wasn't. I read acts of Roman
martyrs and how they were thrown to the lions. It wasn't as optimistic as it
might seem. The martyrs were frightened. They cried and they did not want to
die but the Lord covered up their weaknesses and they went on to die for
Christ's sake.
Living in
a monastery means voluntary martyrdom. A person who comes to a monastery gives
up his freedom. If he doesn't, his life continues to be built on his personal
will. This isn't monastic life, and one isn't saved by it.
You can
get used to any situation. People managed to survive even in concentration
camps, in spite of harsh conditions, hard work and hunger... One has to have a
purpose that gives him meaning. One can sleep on nails and walk on burning coal
– so what? On the contrary, an individual who subdues himself, his pride, for
Christ's sake, becomes a Christian and is able to defeat the flesh and the
blood.
Humility
and obedience are fundamental. If one does not obey anyone and thinks,
"Oh, this assignment is so great! No one orders me around; I am my own
boss. This place is truly awesome!" he loses something valuable.
Remember
how Father Sophrony asked St Silouan, "Elder, do you have plans for your
death?" The elder replied, "I'm not humble enough yet." Despite
decades of relentless battle against the flesh and the blood, his pride and
self-confidence still hadn’t succumbed to his efforts, which was why demons
still attacked him. When he finally became a humble person, they were afraid of
him. The Lord revealed to Saint Silouan how to humble himself down.
People
build their lives as they want. No one can compel them: neither the abbess nor
the spiritual father... I can simply posit whether that person lives with God
or not, whether she has the Spirit or not. If she does, it's great. If she
doesn't, we can only hope that she changes one day.
A fragment of a Monastic Meeting
February 4, 2018
St.
Elisabeth Convent
CONVERSATION