How many
times has someone you are talking to and whom you hardly know, labeled you a
‘friend?’ Or how many times have you
been talking about someone with whom you have casual familiarity and said: “Oh!
My friend, so and so, ..” etc? I think
if we were to count all those whom we know or interact with whom we call
‘friends,’ most of the world would be one happy group of ‘friends.’
However,
consider the words of Jesus: "This is my commandment, that you love one
another as I have loved you. Greater
love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (Jn 15: 12-13).
Psychologist
Abraham Maslow, (1970) wrote that the feature of such love is a “profound
interpersonal” relationship. He indicates that such a relationship “is not a
matter of moment,” “demands a good deal of time,” which implies the “circle of
[true] friends is relatively small.” War veterans would also add their
understanding of the depth of the lasting, true friendship of comrades-in-arms
who literally place themselves in the line of fire, allowing their lives to be
laid out for their companions.
The
spiritual fathers of the Eastern Church understood well the implications of the
precept of Jesus and the adages of Solomon.
Evagrios the Solitary (345-399 AD) writes: “The friends that you do have
should be of benefit to you and contribute to your way of life. Avoid associating with crafty
aggressive people ….Let your friends be men of peace, spiritual brethren, ….”
(Philokalia I) Another Eastern monk makes the requirements of friendship much
more clear. St. Maximus the Confessor
(580-662 AD) tells us: “A true friend is
one who in times of trial calmly and imperturbably suffers with his neighbor
the ensuing afflictions, privations and disasters as if they were his own.”
(Philokalia II) The good saint continues: “’A faithful friend is beyond price’
(Ecclus 6:15), since he regards his friend’s misfortunes as his own and suffers
with him, sharing his trials until death. Friends are many, but in times of
prosperity. (cf. Pv. 19:4). In times of adversity you will have difficulty
finding even one.” (Philokalia II) “’A faithful friend is a strong defense’
(Ecclus 6:14); for when things are going well with you, he is a good counselor
and a sympathetic collaborator, while when things are going badly, he is the truest
of helpers and a most compassionate supporter.” St. Maximus the Confessor, (Philokalia II).
The
lesson for us is to reflect on determining who are our real friends and to be
truly committed and devoted to them.
Non-hypocritically, we should also realize that most individuals we know
are acquaintances. However, someone
being an acquaintance does not let us off the ‘loving-helping hook.’ (Morelli,
2006). We can recall another precept of
Jesus: “So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them.” (Mt 7:
12). At the very least: “…pray for those
who persecute you.” (Mt 5: 44). We have a modern witness of such radical love
who eschewed the conventional boundaries of class and politics. The biographer
(Alexander, 1998) of a modern saint, Fr. Arseny, an Orthodox priest banished into a Soviet
gulag, recounts that upon seeing in spiritual visions the humanity of his
fellow prisoners -- some political, some brutal thieves and murderers, some
prison officials and guards who tortured him in Soviet labor camps --he prayed:
"O Lord, O my Lord! Do not leave them. Help them; save them!"
An
article by Fr.
George Morelli
Source: http://antiochian.org/node/19981
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