Q: At present, my wife and I are seriously
considering conversion to Orthodox Christianity. I, however, am concerned that my many past
sins would prevent me from being accepted into the Church. I am genuinely sorry for these sins, and have
done all I can to change—sometimes with success, sometimes not—but I fear that
in confessing them, I would be seen as being “too sinful” to be accepted by the
Church, or that the priest might soon give up on me. What can you say about this?
A: A person with a serious physical ailment
should turn to a hospital and its doctors in the hope of physical healing, or
at least in a genuine effort to bring about a remission in his or her
ailments. It is precisely for such
purposes that hospitals exist and doctors commit themselves to pursuing the
“healing arts.” Only the most
unreasonable of persons would say, “I would really like to go to the hospital,
but I am afraid that the doctor would turn me away because I am far too ill.”
Similarly,
a person with a serious spiritual ailment should turn to the “spiritual
hospital”—the Church—and those who minister therein in the hope of spiritual
healing, or at least in a genuine effort to bring about a remission in his or
her sins. It is precisely for such
purposes that the Church exists and her clergy pursue their vocation. It would be most unreasonable to say, “I
would really like to go to the Church, but I am afraid that I will be turned
away because I am far too sinful.” Our
Lord Jesus Christ came into the world precisely to heal sinners, to seek out
the lost, and to restore all who would receive Him to spiritual health. As Christ reveals in Matthew 9:13, “I am not
come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
If you
are convinced that you and your wife wish to embrace Orthodox Christianity as
the fullness of Truth, then embrace it.
Just as one who is physically ill should not worry that he or she is
“too sick” to see a doctor, so too do not fear that you will be turned away
from the Church because you are “too sinful”—and this is especially so when one
is genuinely repentant and intensely desires forgiveness and
reconciliation. Some of the greatest
saints of the Church, such as Mary of Egypt, were quite notorious sinners, yet
they repented, relied on the spiritual healing afforded by the Body and Bride
of Christ—the Church—and attained holiness.
Ultimately,
God does not desire the death of sinners.
He rejoices when we turn from our sins and live. As Our Lord Himself plainly states in Luke
10:15, “there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that
repenteth.”
Source: https://oca.org/questions/teaching/am-i-too-sinful-to-convert
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