Archpriest Andrew Lemeshonok, the spiritual
father of St. Elisabeth Convent answers various questions of the parishioners.
What if you are 45 and you don't feel the
fullness of life?
There is
a saying, "Better late than never." You are not old: 45 years of age
is the period in life when your creativity flourishes. I think you will be able
to put your creative powers to use, if only you work hard and wait patiently.
Every
person has a different take on what happiness is. This word has a different
meaning for each person. A believer thinks that happiness means to be humble,
to find the God-inspired peace, and to serve God and one's neighbour. An
unbeliever thinks that happiness means satisfying one's desires and needs;
being prosperous; living as one pleases. These goals are in total
contradiction.
Right
now, you have not managed to excel at your occupation, and this is what makes
you frustrated, disgruntled, and angry; you would like to achieve something
good in your life and to see the fruit of your labour. You needn't do something
huge. You can do something small but with love. You don't have to do a lot of
things: you can simply do your best to be neat, patient, and work diligently in
the place where you are now. Most importantly, you should have good thoughts, a
pure heart that is open to other people and filled with peace and love. This is
how you will be able to help many people. I know humble people whom you can
overlook sometimes but who have so much love and so much vitality! They haven't
become famous. Their lives are far from being a colourful kaleidoscope of
victories and achievements. They keep working humbly and quietly. They are
satisfied with what they've got. They appreciate it, and God dwells inside
them. This is truly beautiful.
You want
to feel the fullness of life, don't you? Perhaps, it's time to begin thinking
of a connection with God, of spiritual development, of growing in trust and
faith? Sooner or later, the most precious and close friends and relatives part
their ways, the most grandiose projects grow old, and everything we create
breaks into pieces. Maybe you'd better look for the happiness within, in your
own immortal soul? The most important moment in the life of every believer is
his encounter with Christ. Have you had this encounter yet? Are you looking
forward to it? Right now, you look at the outer layer of your life. Try looking
deeper below the surface.
What do I do if it is hard for me to fast?
There are
accommodations for people who suffer from certain health issues. The approach
to fasting should be undertaken on an individual basis. You can eat salmon, for
example. You won't break your fast with it. It is simply a way to make it
easier.
If you
worry for your health and feel the need to eat more foods than normally
allowed, go to church and ask a priest for his blessing so as not to be
conscience-stricken. The Church adheres to the principle of positive changes,
as opposed to disruption, and this is also true of our approach to physical
health. Of course, you have to fast to a certain extent. For instance, you
should abstain from things that you like, from your passions, but it is subject
to regulations and depends on our faith, our prayer, and our attitude towards
fasting. You must assess your health condition critically. If you fear and
doubt, you should eat ordinary non-lenten food but not to be tempted. You
should go to a confession and tell your priest about it.
Fasting
helps us to fight our sins but it should not ruin our health. You can always
find the measure of fasting that will suffice for you.
Years go by but I don't have a family. What
can you do?
This
question is asked by many people. We all want something and yearn for something
but we donЎЇt receive itЎ However, if one is willing to keep praying and
praying and praying for real, God will give him what he asks for. We have seen
it happen over and over again. What can you do? Man proposes but the Lord
disposes. There might be a sisterhood in your parish, and if there isn't, you
can try to establish one. There are orphanages and boarding homes populated
with children who don't have parents. It would be great if the faithful visited
those children and helped them.
If you
have free time and you love children, you can adopt. There are cases where
single women adopt orphans. A friend of mine has two children of her own and
she adopted a child. The solution to your problem does exist.
If you
still hope to get married, you should keep hoping and praying. There is a
sister in our Sisterhood who found a husband at the age of 40+, and they have a
wonderful life together as a family.
We often
start grudging, become sad and embittered, sullen and angry. That's wrong. God
gives us what we need. We don't value it enough sometimes. We don't accept it
and try to build a life as we please, and it always leads to unsatisfactory
results. Therefore, find support in God, find the source of power in prayer, in
the Sacraments of Confession and Communion, struggle with depression and lack
of faith. Sooner or later you will have to part with all earthly and transient
things. This is why we, especially as we grow older, begin to think of our
immortal souls, begin to learn to pray and to live with God. It requires a lot
of time and effort. I would like to wish you peace in your soul so that you
wouldn't doubt God's love.
December 21, 2017
St.
Elisabeth Convent
CONVERSATION