Q: Fr. Andrew, could you give me some advice? I have registered on a dating site (an Orthodox one, as it was stated there). A year has passed since that time. Could it be possible that it is a wrong place to meet in my case?
A: Everyone chooses a place to meet on his own. Some
people seek a meeting in certain life situations, while others can do this on
special sites. If you want to meet a person to love them and create a family,
then it may be it is possible do use such a site as well. You see, there is no result
yet. It seems to me that a real meeting is more reliable than a virtual one.
You have an opportunity to see a person as he or she is, but not in terms of a
network. You can hear a person and feel what they are thinking.
Many beautiful
young women and men come to church. I think if you are a faithful person, then you do
not need any dating site. You just need to pray that one of them will notice you and
that your heart feels the beauty of the other person. Those of us who ask and
those who knock will get what they are asking for.
Q: Can one marry a
divorced person?
A: We cannot speak about such things in general terms. We need
to consider each case separately. Look, a person is left alone, they are lonely now and
it is difficult for him or her to live alone. For example, a woman is left alone
with her children. Of course, she needs support, she wants to find a husband.
If she manages to find such a person, and they love each other and fight for
their unity, then it is a God’s blessing. I think we should not state something
categorically if we speak about our spiritual life.
The Church
teaches that we should be loyal to each other, that we should fight for God’s
blessing which He gives for creating a family, that we should learn how to bear
the burdens of each other. We should be patient and humble – this is the school
of humility. It is tragic, when it does not work out and a family falls apart,
especially if this family has received God’s blessing in the Sacrament of Marriage.
How can we fix this? How to keep living? Perhaps, there can be different
circumstances and options, but need to remember that we should seek God’s
will.
Q: Is it true that if my husband becomes a priest he will
have little time for family?
A: After all, a Matushka
has to help his husband in his service. You will lose nothing if you devote all
your energy to serving God. The whole life is a fight. Of course, one can have
a lot of free time and just waste it. One can sit at home all the time and quarrel,
sorting things out and trying to find out who loves whom. On the other hand, you
can join this fight and help your future husband in his serving God Himself, in
serving other people. This will enrich your life with real problems and will
help you to see the depth and the beauty of your neighbor.
So be not
afraid. If you love this person, if he is precious to you and you cannot
imagine your life without him, will you really think about how much time he
will spend at home and how he will spent it with you? You must desire to be with
him! Even if he is not at home, you should support him with your prayers in his
difficult pastoral service.
St. Elisabeth Convent
September 21, 2017
CONVERSATION