The Catalog of Good Deeds

She thanks the Lord not only for joys but also for sorrows. Anna has had more than her fair share of sorrows in the course of her life. Her oldest son Alexander fell prey to drug dependency… Today I talk with this outstanding woman who can honestly be called a warrior for Christ.

Anna, there is a stereotypical perception of drug addicts as children from dysfunctional families. If an individual starts to use illicit drugs, it invariably means that his or her parents “missed out”. Is this the case?

No-no-no! Guilt is the first feeling that a mother runs into, and it’s not quite right! Psychologists unanimously say that you mustn’t regard yourself, and yourself only, guilty of the problem. When I first came to a mutual-aid group, I saw that drug abuse impacts poor and affluent families equally. One’s status or level of education just doesn’t matter! Drugs don’t spare anyone. That is why you can’t say that a child decided to taste the forbidden fruit because he lacked something. I can say even more: this problem may hit a Christian home, too… Every teenager has his wishes and desires. Every teenager wants to achieve something and to stick out of the crowd.

However, I must admit that almost all co-dependent mothers look alike. We forced our children to run from home by terrorizing them with excessive care and total control. You know, when I came to mutual-aid group meetings, I saw my own reflection in other mothers. My life consisted of serving my child almost exclusively: I checked his school bag; I made sure that he returned home from school in time; I’d heat up the cooked meal and fetch it to his room, and then wash his dirty plate. My husband and I did everything on our own and didn’t entrust it to our children. We didn’t even teach them to spend money properly and sensibly.

Can you please tell us what your family lifestyle was like?

You know, it was the worst thing that can happen in a family: the loss of natural hierarchy. I mean, the husband must be the head under all circumstances! His wife must be his handmaid, and children must take up the third place. Nowadays, children are the centre of the world for most families. Even secular therapists notice that. Those who are familiar with Christianity must remember Apostle Paul’s words, I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God (1 Cor. 11:3).

If the atmosphere in your home is healthy, i.e., when the wife obeys her husband, respects and admires him, their children will internalise it. They will be able to avoid an immense lot of problems.

We’ve always had good relationship with my husband but children were the most important still.

I know that Alexander was 20 when you learned about the trouble that he found himself in and started visiting mutual-aid groups for co-dependent relatives. Was it hard to recognise and acknowledge your errors?

It’s always hard to own your errors. For me, the fact that I was intuitively drawn to God was really helpful. I had been to church before but as soon as I heard the horrible news, I made up my mind to change my life thoroughly. You know, I didn’t grudge against God, I mean, I didn’t ask him why it had happened to me. On the contrary, I felt such an urge to lead the life of spirituality, prayer, and church worship that I even wept in church. I was weeping and thanking God for calling me, even if it happened in these conditions… Nevertheless, I became closer to him.

Well, and of course, they explained to us during our meetings in the mutual-aid groups: if you want your children to change, you must change, too. It was difficult because we had always given the best to our sons but now we had to do otherwise! However, our effort yielded positive outcomes. I used to cry and yell at my son when he came home stoned… After I turned to God, I became calmer. I would cross him secretly, and then run to the church and pray because hysteria won’t solve anything, whereas prayer can work wonders.

That was how, step by step, everything started to change. My relationship with my husband changed drastically! It was almost as if we re-discovered one another… Of course, it is very difficult to be a decent wife and mother. It is hard to struggle with your pride and wilfulness. Anyway, you can’t change anything without effort!

Anna, your son served two jail terms for theft. By that time, you had already been a practising Christian. Did you feel upset or disappointed? It appeared as if God had stepped aside and stopped helping you, didn’t it?

Praise the Most High, I never harboured this kind of thoughts. Actually, it was in jail that my son took communion as an adult for the first time (I had taken him and his brother to church as kids, of course). He was serving his second time in jail at that moment. I saw the Mother of God in a dream that night. I saw her image, which covered the entire sky. I woke up and couldn’t figure out the meaning of that dream all morning. I felt that it was somehow related to my son. I couldn’t call him, but he called me during the day. They were allowed to make a phone call once a month. I told him about my dream and asked, “What happened, son?” He replied, “Yes, mum! I went to church and took communion today.”

I sent him letters with paper icons. I even sent him a photo of Father Andrew Lemeshonok and told him about the remarkable priest that we have in the Convent. My son later went to the Convent to talk with him.

You see, God was as close to us as always. Or maybe even closer than usual…

You were the first member of your family who became a practising Christian. How did your family react?

They were sceptical and scornful at first. Later, they got used to it, and then God’s grace touched their hearts, too. For instance, when I invited a priest to consecrate our flat, my older son wasn’t home. We told the priest about our tragedy, and he said that the son would feel better after the consecration. Indeed, we did not quarrel any longer. Our house became a peaceful place. I told Sasha about it later, and he responded, “Mum, you won’t believe me but when I came home on that day, I could clearly feel the new atmosphere of peace and grace!”

Generally speaking, spiritual effort is never in vain. During one of our meetings, a woman shared that while she was kneeling in front of an icon and praying, her son, who suffered from drug addiction, entered the room and asked angrily, “Are you praying again?!” She said that she was scared by that alien, non-human voice of his. It was full of hatred.

Anna, your son doesn’t do drugs for a year now but you continue to attend mutual-aid groups. Why do you feel that it’s necessary?

I see that I’m still co-dependent. Although Sasha is 29 already, I sometimes go too far with my micromanagement of his affairs, and he has to stop me. You just can’t imagine how terrible this illness is! There was a time when I was brought to the point of spending all nights walking around the neighbourhood looking for him. It was absolutely useless… I was wasting all the energy that I could have used to pray and create a warm atmosphere at home on anxiety and panic.

Dear mums, if you read this and these words sound familiar, this is my advice to you: start by changing yourselves until it’s too late! You can change a lot! May the Lord help us all!

Interview by Natallia Klimova

September 5, 2018

St. Elisabeth Convent

The Orthodox calendar is rich for mysteries. There are apparently simple and even trivial things, we do not even think about. For example, we can mention the date of the beginning of the new year. Any reasonable person of the modern world, if only they are not the stickers of an exotic tradition, will say that the date is January 1. It seems natural since we count months beginning from January. Here is also the winter solstice, after which days become longer. What is more, the feast of the Nativity of Christ is celebrated on December 25, and we can state that when the Word became flesh, God was born into this world, it became the moment from which we could count our time.

However, the Orthodox Church considers September 1 as the first day of the year. Why so? There are several answers to this question but most of them are connected with the number 7, one way or another, while September is the 7^th month if counting from March. The thing is that March was the first month of the biblical year for ancient Hebrews.

The number 7 is symbolic for biblical consciousness. According to the biblical story, “on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made” (Genesis 2:2-3). So, for people living in the world of the Bible, the number 7 and the 7^th month are some kind of wholeness, like something completed, after which the cycle begins again.

However, Christian theology is not limited to the number 7 only. It comes out of the cycle, since the Christian perception of time is lineal and eschatological. It is lineal because the human history began at the certain moment of time and will come to its end once – at least, to its end in a usual earthly sense. With the Coming of Christ, the old world will end and the time will come in which there will be no time at all: “Now when all things are made subject to Him, then the Son Himself will also be subject to Him who put all things under Him, that God may be all in all” (1 Corinthians 15:28). Living in the world of Sabbath, Christians know and can experience the 8^th day in the Eucharist – the day of a new Aeon, the day when death is defeated, the day when the Kingdom of Heaven penetrated to this world. The kingdom is already among us, and this is why we can await for this Kingdom, because we have already partaken of It, we have already become a part of It since we are the people of God and gather at Christ’s Supper in His Kingdom (ref. Luke 22:30). Each week has 7 days, and after the 7^th day, the 8^th day comes, which seems to fall out of the week; every year and every feast of Pascha tell us about what is the only thing important for us – the Kingdom of Heaven.

The feast of the Church New Year testifies that the era of the new and old world is coming to its end. As Jesus Christ says, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord” (Luke 4:18-19). Thus, let us all follow the calling of St. Apostle Paul: “Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:1-4).

By John Nichiporuk,

a Bachelor of Theology, a student of

the Minsk Theological Academy .

The Catalog Of Good Deeds, 2018

The Orthodox Church in the United States has problems. One of the problems the Orthodox Church currently suffers in this country is a lack of converts. There are other problems as well: overlapping jurisdictions, lack of communication across jurisdictional lines, and a tendency to isolate ourselves from communities in which we live. But it is our lack of converts that strikes me as particularly troubling.

Doubtlessly, some will correct me and remind me that the Antiochian Orthodox Archdiocese of America and the Orthodox Church in America are made up largely of converts. While this is certainly the case, it may be so only from a numbers perspective (though, together, they comprise less than 20% of Orthodox in America). “But how else can we measure a shortage or a surplus of converts except in terms of numbers?” some may ask.

First, let’s examine what is meant by convert. Most of us would say that a convert is a person who was not raised in the Orthodox Faith but later chose to embrace it. By this definition, I am a convert. I was raised in the Episcopal Church up to the age of 13, when my parents moved us to the Roman Catholic Church. I was 23 when I embraced Orthodox Christianity.

However, there are some who would not consider my conversion a conversion at all. “You just switched church buildings,” they say. “All the Orthodox Church did was steal a sheep from the Church of Rome.” There may indeed be some substance to this charge. On the one hand, it might be true if all churches are simply different articulations of the same message—different branches of one tree. On the other hand, it might be true if there are substantial—even fundamental—differences between the churches, but I had not fully embraced the teaching of the Eastern Orthodox Church.

We can safely dismiss the first possibility. The differences between the various churches are simply too wide and too deep to traverse for anyone who understands such differences to be able to consider all churches “basically the same.” The modern ecumenical movement, despite nearly a century of work, has failed to reverse the fragmentation of the Protestant world, just as it has failed to reunite the Church of Rome with the Orthodox Church. It is, therefore, the second possibility that may give credibility to the charge of “sheep stealing” as opposed to genuine conversion. If I have not fully embraced the paradigm of the Orthodox Church, believing all that the Church preaches about God and man’s proper response to God, then I am no convert.

Consider the recent case of Matthew Heimbach. A now prominent figure among American white nationalists and most recently an organizer for the “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, he expressed an interest in Orthodox Christianity a few years back. He was received into the Orthodox Church in a parish of the Antiochian Archdiocese in 2014. Having learned of his racist background after his reception into the Church, his parish priest, Fr. Peter Jon Gillquist, with the support of his bishop, insisted that Heimbach publicly renounce “violence, hate speech, and the heresy of Phyletism.”

Ultimately, Heimbach did not comply and was excommunicated from the Orthodox Church, although he currently seeks communion in non-canonical groups. It is clear that he was intrigued on some level by one or more aspects of the Orthodox Church, but he found it impossible to embrace the teaching and lived experience of the Church, which urges the faithful to love their neighbors as themselves (Mk. 12:31). He was willing to accept the Orthodox Church only insofar as he was able to cram it through his white nationalist framework, which he prized above all else. Whether or not Matthew Heimbach was a “stolen sheep” is debatable. Whether or not he was actually a convert to Orthodox Christianity is not.

When we step back from this one sad story of a failure to convert and look at the Church in our country, we begin to see that the failure to convert is actually fairly common for many Orthodox Christians who remain in the Church’s communion. But when we look to see who has not fully embraced the teaching and preaching of the Church, it not just those who have come to the Church from outside but also those who were born and raised in the Church. It is not uncommon for self-professed Orthodox Christians to vocally support abortion and gay marriage.

Indeed, some of these people call upon the Orthodox Church to alter her teaching on such matters, even though the Church has clearly and unambiguously proclaimed her position. They are sorely displeased that the Church is not as “enlightened” as they are, when it is they who cling to paradigms incompatible with the Gospel, which they doubtlessly value more than the Gospel. Some of them eventually leave, and some of them stay. All of them are only too happy to tell us how the Church is wrong.

The leap to Orthodox Christianity from wherever we have been is difficult, to say the very least, even if it is a leap from within the Church. After all, there is a good reason why we think and act the way we do. Right? But the call to discipleship comes with an all-encompassing price: “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Matt. 16:24).

It is not that only some of us have a hard time denying ourselves, setting aside what we personally think is best and trusting in Christ. All of us do. Who is the true convert? It is the person who turns away from himself or herself and turns to Christ endlessly.

The Church does not ask us to abandon reason or decency, nor does she ask us to blindly follow her leaders. On the contrary, the Church asks us to carefully consider what we mean by “reason” and “decency” and measure them by the person of our Lord Jesus Christ. The Church calls us to follow her leaders with our eyes open to the commandments of Christ. The Church is the Bride of Christ calling us to a life of faithfulness to the Bridegroom. A life which faithfully reflects the light of Christ—such is the life of the convert.

By Fr. Photius Avant

Source: https://blogs.ancientfaith.com/orthodoxyandheterodoxy/2017/09/21/orthodoxy-america-convert-problem/

Growing up I was blessed to have many mentors and guides in the Faith. One of my role models was, and continues to be, my grandmother Nikonia, whose life helped shape my commitment to Christ.

I would often stay at my grandmother’s house for weeks at a time during summer vacation. She would take me to church services on Sunday. On weekdays she would rise early, offer her daily prayers, and cense the house. Since I slept in the room with the icon corner, my grandmother would unintentionally wake me from a deep sleep during censing. One day I asked her why she was praying since it was not Sunday. She responded lovingly, “God blesses us seven days a week. Should we not do the same?” I learned at that moment about the importance of daily prayer. In the twenty-four hours God gives each day, certainly we can find a portion of that time to share with God our praise, our problems, our thanks, our love.

My grandmother was very active in her church, participating in choir, Philoptochos, festivals, and other activities, but she made the greatest impression on me when she took me to the hospital to visit people. Being a patient can be lonely, frightening, and painful. The comfort of a friendly visit is usually appreciated. My grandmother and I would visit people she knew, and then she would take the extra step. She would peek into other hospital rooms to see if someone else might benefit from a warm conversation. This spoke volumes about my grandmother’s gifts of compassion, conversation, and concern for others. She modeled for me the importance of using the gifts that God has given us to serve our parish and the community at large.

My grandparents raised their three children during the Depression years of the 1930s. Many people suffered terrible financial hardships during that era. It was a common practice for my grandmother to prepare a plate of food—not the leftovers, but the first fruits—and bring it to those who struggled to support their families. During my childhood, my grandmother continued this practice by preparing covered dishes to deliver to her neighbors in need.

I share these reflections not for sentimental reasons but to highlight how one person, one witness, made a permanent impression on me about Jesus Christ. Faith must be modeled by people we love and trust. Once we see that example in others, we will be inspired to follow suit.

Who are the people that brought you to Christ? What values did they model for you?

By Fr. Alexander Goussetis,
the director of the Center for Family Care

Source: https://blogs.goarch.org/blog/-/blogs/who-brought-you-to-christ-

There was a young man who asked God to teach him to love the whole world impartially, without seeking his own profit. He wanted to feel selfless love. He wanted to love strange and complex people with all his soul and all his heart.

Years went by, and that same person, aged 45, visited Tinos Island, stood in front of an icon of the Theotokos and wept, complaining about his wife, “My God, why did you sent her to me? Why is this person always with me, and why is our family life so hard? We don’t love one another. We keep quarreling and fighting. We hurt one another. We’ve been on the verge of divorce many times. My Lord Jesus Christ, I’m in trouble. Why does it happen? I can’t find any explanation. Why did God sent all this to me?” The Most Holy Mother of God tried to give that man the answer during that prayer. She reminded the man that at 20, he was praying to have a family, saying to God, “Help me, O God, to love selflessly. Teach me to love properly.” Years were flying by. The young man hit 30, then 35. He got married. He ran into some problems and difficulties. At first, he thought that they were accidental but when he remembered those past events and connected the dots, he was convinced that they are not a punishment or an accident but the answer to his earlier prayer. You see?

Everything that happens to us is the result of our own requests. We need it. Of course, it is helpful. It teaches us to love, to humble ourselves, and to further our knowledge of God. You might object, “Isn’t there a different way to achieve that? When praying, I didn’t ask for it. Naturally, I wanted to know how to love but I didn’t know that suffering and pain will ensue. I wasn’t asking for trouble. Why so much pain? Isn’t there a different way?” I believe that there is no other way. That’s what life is about. Kazandzakis asked a holy hermit on Mt. Athos, “Is there a different way—a simpler and more comfortable one?” The hermit, whose name was Makarios, replied, “There is only one way, my dear, and it is called the uphill road. It is painful and you’ve got to shed your blood to get there.” When you climb a mountain, your knees ache and your heart is tired of pumping increased volumes of blood. However, there isn’t another way to get to the mountaintop and to see the rising sun. There is no other way to achieve the salvation of your soul.

That is how one’s soul gets saved. That is how its beauty is preserved and multiplied. That is how it starts to blossom. Flowers bloom thanks to the scorching heat of the sun, thanks to the painful raindrops that hit their leaves, and thanks to the snow that freezes them. That is how nature works. That’s how this world works. That’s how God works. You can get saved only by overcoming sorrows and pain.

Fragment of a book by the Archimandrite Andrew (Konanos)

titled "Marriage and Its Problems…"

Translated by the Catalog of Good Deeds

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