The Catalog of Good Deeds

I’ve heard many times over the years, “It’s too hard for my kids” when someone brings up the topic of fasting and children. Let’s consider for a moment our children’s education. I don’t know of any parent who would present a college math textbook to their toddler and expect them to be able to work the problems in the book – let alone with perfection. We all understand that higher level math is beyond the abilities of a small child, but at the same time it doesn’t mean that we hold off on teaching our children math concepts. We have a goal and through the years we feed them little bits at a time in order to help them make progress towards that goal. Many of us will start out by counting snaps on a onesie in an attempt to calm a squirming baby as we re-dress them. As they get older, we count aloud the steps on a set of stairs as we help them learn to go up and down them. Later we’ll have them hold up their fingers showing their age and listen to them as they mimic us counting out loud. Math is a part of our children’s lives from a very young age. We wouldn’t dream of limiting our children to stories about mathematicians, letting them put together puzzles about math, completing crossword puzzles of math definitions, let them explore and play with manipulatives, bring them to watch mathematicians completing equations and then consider our children prepared for taking a college entrance exam or even prepared for life on their own. Are any of these efforts wrong in and of themselves? No. Are these methods alone going to enable them to reach the goal of understanding AND being able to solve an equation on their own? Probably not.

What is the key difference? Participation. Think of how much prep we do with them before we even begin to think about introducing the simplest of equations to them. We guide our children through ever increasingly more difficult levels of math and then we explain to them how to work an equation when the time is right. We start off by teaching them how to solve simple equations on their own such as 2 + 2 = 4. Holding off on teaching math through participation simply because the end goal is too difficult for young children is only going to make learning math harder for our child in the long run. Can you imagine our child sitting down in a college classroom and the professor asking why the student cannot complete the simplest of equations? Our child would respond, “Well…I’ve been around math all my life but I’ve never actually tried working on or completing any math problems. My parents thought it would be too hard for me, so they told me to wait until I was older.” The “catch up” factor for our children would be overwhelming!

The same is true about teaching our children to be Orthodox Christians. If we do not introduce them to living their faith from a young age, it will become increasingly foreign and overwhelming to them as they get older. There is a rhythm to our ecclesiastical year that involves participation from young and old alike. Within this rhythm we are taught not only about our faith but are also shown how to live it. This is the important part – we need to live our faith every single day in the manner in which we are capable of at that very moment.

Here are some ideas when approaching Great Lent this year:

*As always, please talk to your parish priest or spiritual father for individual or family guidance. These are simply ideas to discuss with your priest from one parent sharing her journey to the next parent.

Fasting

Every family will have their own unique circumstances when it comes to fasting – medical conditions, mom’s pregnant, financial situations, new to Orthodoxy, special needs children or family member, odd work hours, etc. Keep this in mind, especially if you are at the beginning of your journey with fasting. Make the transitions small and gradual for your children (and yourself, as the case may be) but always progressing towards the end goal.

- Give your child(ren) a scoop of whatever fasting foods you’ve made for yourself along with the rest of their meal. This way, the fasting foods are not foreign to them and you are simply supplementing the meal with a bit of meat or dairy until you feel they are ready to take the next step.

- Consider having your children eat vegetarian on Wednesdays and Fridays during Lent and all of Holy Week.

- Consider having your children eat vegetarian for all of Lent.

- Consider having your children eat vegan for Wednesdays and Fridays during Lent.

You know your child best. Think about where you and your family are at on your spiritual journey. How much are you and your children fasting now? What can your family do to take the next step forward this Lent?

Almsgiving

Part of fasting is learning discipline and self control – learning to tell ourselves we cannot have everything we desire. This is especially important for children who tend to want everything that catches their eye. Fasting teaches kids moderation as well as they need to be patient and wait for something. It builds strength!

Another part of fasting is spending less money on food and giving that money to those in need. (The foods we are asked to abstain from have traditionally been the expensive foods – meat, oil, dairy) In this respect, substituting cow milk with non-dairy milk, which costs the same amount or more, negates our ability to give more to those in need. It’s not about finding substitutions in order to avoid going without our favorite foods. It’s about sacrifice. It’s not strictly about rules. (Although, they are there for a reason.) It’s about seeing the needs of others before your own wants and desires. It’s about going without in order to give more.

Growing up, my parents had us put our OCMC mission boxes in the middle of our kitchen table and that is where we collected our money to give to others. With my own children, we put a jar in the middle of our kitchen table and collect money throughout Lent. We have given the money to various people and places throughout the years but it’s always been something we decide as a family. We work towards a common goal during Lent and my kids know that in order to help others, we do not buy all of our favorite foods for awhile. It’s all the more special for them on Pascha when they take that first bite of meat and chocolate.

Almsgiving is also about giving more of one’s time. Do grandma and grandpa need help with some yard work or cleaning because it’s hard for them to do themselves these days? Is there a shut-in in your parish? Bring your kids to visit them along with a coffee and dessert to share with this person. You would bring such joy to these people along with teaching your children about compassion and kindness!

Prayer

I talk about prayer within our family in greater detail here. It was a presentation I gave for a webinar several years ago.

My spiritual father once told me, “You need to start where you’re at. If making the sign of the cross before you go to bed is all you can do, then that’s where you start. Don’t compare yourself to others. Start – now – and move forward.”

- Include all of your kids for family bedtime prayers. Keep the prayers short to start until your kids can handle something longer. For example, teach them the Jesus Prayer – “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner” or simply “Lord have mercy”.

- Start by saying a meal prayer before dinner every night. With time, expand to saying prayers before every meal.

- While pregnant, trace the sign of the cross over your belly every morning as you get ready for your day.

- For babies, help them to make the sign of the cross by guiding their hand to their forehead, shoulders, and chest during your family prayers.

- Trace the sign of the cross over your sleeping child’s forehead as you check on them at night before going to sleep yourself.

- Turn off the radio and ask your kids to help you say a prayer as you drive by an accident.

Attending Church Services

I fully understand that it can be hard taking little ones to church sometimes. From this mom who was determined to bring five boys under the age of five (four of them with special needs!) to church every Sunday – even when my husband was on business trips – I get how difficult it can be sometimes!!! I do.

But…every Sunday morning, I’d hear my mom’s words whispering in my ear, “Kids learn to be in church by being in church.” Those beginning years were rough, but with time…my boys learned to be engaged in the service more often than with each other.

During Lent, my husband and I decide which extra services we’re going to attend as a family. What are your goals this Lent? Attend one Lenten service with your kids? Attend one of each of the different services? Attend one service each week? Attend one Holy Week service? Attend all of the evening Holy Week services? Attend all of Holy Friday and Pascha?

Holy Confession

As a child, I vividly remember sitting in the back of the church with my mom and brothers as we watched my dad from afar going to confession in the front of the church, as we each waited quietly for our own turn.

There’s something about seeing your parents with watery eyes and beaming smiles on their faces as they walk towards you after confession. There’s something about going together as a family – knowing that you are participating in something your parents find important. There’s something about going home and savoring the joy amongst everyone in your family.

“The religious education of children is mainly brought about by example, and by the atmosphere of love and prayer in the home.” (Sister Magdalen, Children in the Church Today)

“You can only teach that which you have made your own…” (Sophie Koulomzin, Our Church & Our Children)

By Jennifer Hock

Source: http://illumination-learning.com/main/2015/02/14/living-our-faith-its-too-hard-for-my-kids/

Continuing our commentary on the Beatitudes by Saint Gregory of Nyssa.

In this next step, Saint Gregory begins by discussing the nature of our appetite for food. This hunger we experience is a natural one. When we lose it we face an unhealthy condition. After the previous steps outlined in the Beatitudes, our soul should have a healthy appetite much like that we have for food. Much like our desire for food, the food we desire for our soul differs from one person to another.

Gregory writes:

Everyone's desire is not for the same. Some people covet glory, or wealth, or prominence. The desire of others is incessantly occupied with the table. Others again lap up envy like some noxious food; and then there are also some who desire things whose nature is good.

But what is good that we should desire? Gregory writes,

Now what is good by nature is the same for all and at all times. It is that which is desirable not because of something else, but for its own sake. It is always the same, and satiety can never blunt its attraction. Therefore the Word calls blessed those who hunger not without qualification, but those whose desire is directed towards true justice.

So why is what is good called justice? The common view of justice is “the disposition to distribute equally to each, according to his worth.” Gregory then shows us that this view is not sufficient.

Gregory provides us with some examples of this common view.

He writes:

For example, if someone is charged with distributing money, he will be called just if he aims at equity and fits the gift to the needs of the recipients. Again, a man invested with the authority of a judge will not pass sentence according to favor or disfavor; but he will be guided by the nature of the case and punish those who deserve punishment whilst acquitting the innocent.

The problem with this view of justice is that it assumes that one person, the one who “distributes” or “judges,” is higher than another. Jesus cannot be calling blessed only those who have such superiority. The aim of Jesus is salvation which is a common good for all. Gregory points out that there something higher in the “sublime laws of God.” Again, tries to lift our minds to a concept of justice that is beyond our common worldly notions.

Gregory writes:

But as I look up to the sublime laws of God, I come to realize that one must see something higher in this justice than what has been discussed hitherto. The word of salvation is indeed given as a common good for all mankind, but not every man is concerned with the things that have just been mentioned. For only few are called to reign or govern, to give judgment or to have power of administering money or other revenues; whereas the majority of men are subjects of rulers and administrators. How then can one accept as true justice what is not meant equally for all? For if, according to the words of those outside the fold, the purpose of the just man is equality; but on the other hand pre-eminence presupposes inequality, then this definition of justice cannot be regarded as true, because it is at once completely refuted by the inequality of life.

Gregory tells us that justice spoken of in this beatitude belongs to all. It makes no different whether rich or poor, king or slave. He uses the example of Lazarus in the story of Lazarus and the rich man (Luke 16:19–31). Poor Lazarus had no means to be just, neither power or material resources. Therefore he was unable to be just under the common notion of justice. But we know that in terms of salvation and eternal life it was Lazarus who was deemed by God to be just.

He writes:

For if justice consisted in ruling, or distributing, or administering anything, anyone without such authority would be quite outside the scope of justice. But how could a man be deemed worthy of the eternal rest who had none of those things which, in the general opinion, are the characteristics of justice?

Therefore we must search for that kind of justice the fruition of which is promised to him who desires it.

***

Justice has to do with our salvation and everyone whether rich or poor, powerful of a slave can have justice in the eyes of God if they hunger for it.

This justice we are to hunger for involves keen discernment of God’s will. Gregory uses one of the temptations Christ experienced in his retreat to the desert. The devil used Christ’s human hunger for food as a temptation when he commanded Jesus to turn the stones into bread to satisfy his hunger on this long fast. To desire to turn stones into food when God had provided us the means to make bread and other food from seeds planted in soil, is a distortion of our natural desire for the means of our physical sustenance. For Christ to agree to this command He would be using his hunger to go beyond what God has provided or intended for us. This would be avarice, letting our desire led to things that go beyond our necessities of life. This is unjust.

Gregory speaks of how we are led to succumb to similar temptations in our daily life. He writes,

Now people eat food made from stones if their meals betray their avarice, because from their unjust gains they procure for themselves luxurious dishes worth fabulous sums, and the paraphernalia of their dinners are designed only for show so as to impress people, since they far outstrip the necessities of life. For what relation to the needs of nature has this silver which no one can eat and which is displayed in such quantities that it can hardly be carried?

In other words, we act without justice when we use resources God has given us for pleasures that are not a necessity. We can observe in our own lives how we let our hunger for food go beyond what is necessary. It is God’s intention for our hunger to led us to nutritious food, but not beyond this. Our excesses led us to injustice. We can easily let our desires take us beyond what is necessary. In our hunger for justice we must over come temptations by constraining our desires for things of this world. limiting them to that which is necessary. We do not what to eliminate desire but to control it to act with justice.

Gregory writes:

He who overcomes temptation does not eliminate hunger from nature, as if that were a cause of evil. He only removes the worry and fuss which the counsel of the enemy causes to enter together with the need, and leaves nature to adjust itself within its own limits. To give an example: Those who filter the wine do not reject the good liquid on account of the foam mixed up with it; they separate the superfluous matter with a strainer, but do not refuse to use what is pure.

We still need to clarify what the food that the soul desires. Gregory points us to Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman.

And at this point His disciples came, and they marveled that He talked with a woman; yet no one said, “What do You seek?” or, “Why are You talking with her?”

The woman then left her waterpot, went her way into the city, and said to the men, “Come, see a Man who told me all things that I ever did. Could this be the Christ?” Then they went out of the city and came to Him. In the meantime His disciples urged Him, saying, “Rabbi, eat.” But He said to them, “I have food to eat of which you do not know.” Therefore the disciples said to one another, “Has anyone brought Him anything to eat?” Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work. (John 27-34)

“My food is to do the will of Him who sent me.” To hunger for justice is to do the will of God. This is the kind of food Jesus instructed His disciples to hunger after.

Gregory says,

“For if a man has desired the justice of God, he has found what is truly to be desired. And he satisfies this desire not only in one of the forms this appetite can take; for He wants us to partake of justice not only as food…Therefore the Word expresses thus the highest desire for the Good and calls blessed those who suffer both hunger and thirst for justice. For the coveted object is great enough to meet the desire in both ways: grace becomes solid food to the hungry, and drink if a man be drawn to it by thirst.”

But what is it that God wants us to do?

***

We are to desire the ultimate Good, to do God’s will. Next he raises the question justice is the only virtue that is involved in doing God’s will. How about virtues such as “temperance or wisdom, prudence or any other kind of virtue?” Would we not be blessed also if we hunger after these? Clearly, Gregory points out, justice is but one of the virtues to be desired.

Gregory says,

Now Divine Scripture frequently expresses the whole by the part, for example, when it gives certain names to the Divine Nature. Thus, speaking in the person of God, the prophecy says: I the Lord; this is my eternal name, and this is my memorial unto all generations. And again elsewhere, I am who am;(Exod 3:14) and yet in another place, I am compassionate.(Exod 22:27) Thus Holy Scripture can call Him by innumerable other names which fittingly signify God's majesty; and so it becomes quite clear to us that when it says one thing the whole series of names is quietly understood to be included as well.

Therefore we should expand the idea of justice to include the other virtues as well. He says, “if the conception of justice does not admit of anything bad, it must needs comprise in itself everything good, but what is good belongs to virtue. Therefore every virtue is here comprised under the name of justice. Those who hunger and thirst for it the Word calls blessed and promises them the fulfillment of their desires.”

Gregory writes:

I think the saying means something like this: None of the things that are coveted in this life for the sake of pleasure will satisfy those who run after them, but, as Wisdom says somewhere metaphorically, A cask full of holes is the occupation with the pleasures of sense. For those who are always anxiously busy filling it show that their unending labor is fruitless. All the time they are pouring something into the abyss of desire, they add pleasure to pleasure, yet never procure themselves full satisfaction.

Therefore we learn from the Lord this sublime doctrine that the only truly and solidly existing thing is our zeal for virtue. For if a man has perfected himself in any of the higher things, such as continence, temperance, devotion to God or any other of the sublime teachings of the Gospel, his joy in these achievements does not quickly pass away, but is truly solid, lasting his whole lifetime.

He teaches us in the discourse from the high mountain of thought: not to desire eagerly any of those things that end in nothingness for those who pursue them. To occupy oneself with them is as devoid of sense as to run after the top of one's own shadow. For such people run on forever, since the object of their pursuit always quickly eludes the pursuer. But we should turn our desire to those things where, if a man exerts himself, the object of his efforts becomes his possession. If a man desires virtue, he makes goodness his very own, for he sees in himself what he has desired.

Finally, he offers a bolder interpretation, referring to Holy Communion:

He became for us wisdom from God, justification, sanctification and redemption, but also Bread descending from Heaven and living water…. For if, as the Psalmist says, a man has truly tasted the Lord;(Ps 33:9) that is, if he has received God into himself, he is filled with Him for whom he has thirsted and hungered, as He has promised who said: I and my Father will come and will make our abode with him (John 14:23) (the Holy Spirit of course had already been dwelling there before). I suppose the great Paul, too, who had tasted of those ineffable fruits from Paradise, was at the same time full of what he had tasted al-id always hungering for it. For he owns that he his been filled with what he desired when he says, Christ liveth in me;(Gal 2:20) yet he is still hungry, for he always stretches forth to the things before him,(Gal 3:13) saying: Not as though I had already attained, or were already perfect; but I run that I may apprehend.(Gal 3:12)

Source:

http://orthodoxwayoflife.blogspot.com.by/2009/09/4th-beatitude-blessed-are-they-that.html

http://orthodoxwayoflife.blogspot.com.by/2009/09/4th-beatitude-continued-justice.html

http://orthodoxwayoflife.blogspot.com.by/2009/09/4th-beatitude-continued-justice_09.html

Those who are new to Orthodoxy are sometimes surprised to discover the intense reverence the Church has for the Gospel. A book containing only the four Gospels is normally kept on the altar, representing Christ’s throne. The book is large and is decorated with several icons on the cover, most frequently one of Christ’s resurrection.

In the first part of the Liturgy, the Gospel book is carried out of the sanctuary, which represents heaven, into the main part of the church, which represents our world, and back into the sanctuary once again. Throughout the procession, the book is held high. We all bow to it, as we would bow to Christ, for Christ is present wherever His word is present. The Gospels are a sacrament of Christ’s presence.

For the same reason, there are occasions when the Gospel book is kissed by faithful Orthodox believers. While any Orthodox library will have many treasured books, most notably the writings of the Church Fathers and various lives of the saints, no other book by any saint or theologian is reverenced by Orthodox as the Gospel is reverenced, just as no saint is venerated as Christ is venerated.

Later, the Gospel book is brought back into the center of the church for the day’s reading. Like the rest of the Liturgy, it is sung. “To sing is to pray twice,” according to an ancient Christian saying. Everyone stands, a gesture both of respect and of attention. Candles are held on either side of the Gospel book, a symbol that Christ is the light of the world.

The careful connection, typical of Orthodox tradition, of spiritual and physical action does much to bring even a skeptical bystander to awareness of the life-giving significance of the Gospel. Yet ritual gestures can only invite an inner response, never force it. It is one thing to kiss the Gospels with one’s lips, another thing to live them body and soul. What is it we are bowing to? Are we really listening? It is a lifelong task opening our ears and hearts to the Gospel and trying to live it fully. Even the holiest saint knows he is not yet living the Gospel as he ought to. Indeed, the closer we come to Christ, the more aware we are of how far we are from Him.

During the procession with the Gospel book, the choir sings the Beatitudes. The reason is that the Church recognizes these verses as a summary of Christ’s teaching, a synopsis of the whole Gospel.

If we recognize the last two verses as one, in that both describe the suffering often imposed upon those who love the Gospel, we find there are eight Beatitudes, each of them an aspect of being in communion with God, and each of which we need to think about again and again as we make progress in our lifelong conversion to Christ.

They are like rungs on a ladder. Each one leads to the next, and is placed in a particular order. To reach the second step, we need to make the first step. The idea isn’t that I’ll be a peacemaker while somebody else specializes in poverty of spirit or being pure of heart.

We begin at the beginning, the first rung of the ladder, the primary Beatitude — “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” Without poverty of spirit, none of us can begin to follow Christ. What does poverty of spirit mean? It is my awareness that I cannot save myself, that I am defenseless, that neither money nor power will spare me from suffering and death. It is my awareness that I desperately need God’s help and mercy. It is stepping away from the rule of fear in one’s life, fear being the great force that restrains us from acts of love. Being poor in spirit means becoming free of the myth that possessing many things will make me a happier person. It is an attitude expressed in a French proverb: “When you die, you carry in your clutched hand only that which you have given away.”

The second rung — “Blessed are they who mourn.” Here is the Beatitude of feeling grief for the sorrows of other people. I can hardly feel someone else’s pain without poverty of spirit, because otherwise I am on always on guard to keep what I have for myself, and to keep me for myself. If I begin to feel for someone, to feel and not just pretend to feel, I will want to share with him what I have, and even share myself. The immediate consequence of poverty of spirit is becoming sensitive to the losses of people around us, not just those whom I happen to know and like but strangers. This is the Beatitude of tears. Remember chapter 11, verse 35, of the Gospel of John: “Jesus wept.” That is the entire verse. The 17th Century poet and priest, John Donne, comments, “There is no shorter verse in the Bible, nor is there a larger text.”

The third rung — “Blessed are the meek.” We find examples of each Beatitude in Christ’s life. We see meekness in Jesus washing the feet of his disciples, something that embarrassed them, something they resisted. But in what better way could he teach them the nature of love and what it means to be an apostle? We see the meekness of his entry into Jerusalem on the back not of a powerful horse but a modest donkey. We see meekness in Christ carrying the cross and enduring all the other events that led to his crucifixion. Meekness is a hard virtue for everyone, but perhaps most of all for men because we have been made to think of meekness as a feminine quality. But meekness is not simply doing what you are told. The person who obeys evil orders is not being meek but being cowardly. He has cut himself off from his own conscience, thrown away his God-given freedom, all because he is afraid of the price he may have to pay for following Christ. We must first of all be meek toward God, and that God-centered meekness will give us the strength not to lord it over others or to commit evil deeds against a neighbor.

The fourth rung — “Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for that which is right.” When we begin to share in the sufferings of others, we cannot help but notice that often suffering is the result of injustice or is made worse by injustice. Jesus doesn’t say “Blessed are those who hopefor righteousness” or “Blessed are those who campaign for righteousness” but “Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness” — that is, people who want what is right as urgently as someone dying on a desert thirsts for water. For the same reason, they cannot adapt themselves to the absence of righteousness, explaining that the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know, that eggs must be broken to make an omelet, or even the blasphemy that God wills social evils.

The fifth rung — “Blessed are the merciful.” This Beatitude prevents us from thinking that the longing for righteousness permits us to be ruthless. It is natural to feel anger toward those who make themselves richer, more comfortable or more powerful by causing suffering. We can easily think of all sorts of people, from petty criminals to heads of corporations and governments, who, as we hear in the vivid imagery of the Old Testament, “grind the poor.” But we see in Christ the constant example of someone ready to be merciful to anyone, no matter what he has done: not only the prostitute but the Roman centurion (that is, a soldier belonging to an occupying army) and the tax collector.

The sixth rung — “Blessed are the pure in heart.” What is a pure heart? A heart free of possessiveness, a heart able to feel the sorrow of others, a heart that thirsts for what is right, a heart that is not vengeful. We see a pure heart in the face of any saintly person. Consider the pure heart of St. Seraphim of Sarov, who was so free of fear and violence that he was on good terms with a bear who lived near his cabin and on occasion even shared his of bread with the bear, seeing this beast as a neighbor, and who forgave the robbers who nearly beat him to death and left his body bent for the rest of his life. He labored long and hard to free himself of all obstacles to God and finally had a heart so pure that it seems no one can come near him, or kiss his icon, without becoming more pure himself.

The seventh rung — “Blessed are the peacemakers.” Only after ascending the first six rungs of the ladder of the Beatitudes can we talk about the Beatitude of the peacemaker, for only a person with a pure heart can help, in God’s mercy, to rebuild broken bridges and pull down walls, to help us recover our lost unity. The maker of peace must be a person who seeks nothing for himself, not even recognition. Such a person does not even regard his actions as “good deeds.” They simply are the consequence of having been drawn more deeply into God’s love. Because of this, such a person cannot help but see others, even the most unpleasant or dangerous person, as a child of God, someone beloved of God, someone made in the image of God even if the likeness is presently very damaged or completely lost. Think of the teaching of St. Sergius of Radonezh: “Contemplation of the Holy Trinity destroys all discord.”

How desperately we need such people! We need them not only in places where wars are being fought or might be fought, but we need them within the church and within each parish. Even the best and most vital parishes often suffer from deep divisions. And who is the peacemaker who is needed? It is each of us. Often it is harder to forgive and understand someone in our own parish than an abstract enemy we see mainly in propaganda images on television. See can see within our Orthodox Church that we don’t simply disagree with each other on many topics but that often we despise those who hold an opposing view. In the name of Christ, who commanded us to love one another, we engage in wars of words. Far from loving our opponent, we don’t even respect him. But without mercy and forgiveness, without love, I am no longer in communion either with my neighbor or with Christ.

At the deepest level, the peacemaker is a person being used by God to help heal our relationship with God, for we get no closer to God than we get to our neighbor. As we know from the Parable of the Good Samaritan, our neighbor doesn’t just refer to the person next door of the same nationality but even more to the person regarded as “different” and a “threat.” St. Silouan of the Holy Mountain taught that love of enemies is not simply an aspect of Christian life but is “the central criterion of true faith and of real communion with God, the lover of souls, the lover of humankind.”

Finally, the eighth rung — “Blessed are they who suffer persecution” — the Beatitude of the persecuted. We are reminded that we shouldn’t expect or even want to win a peace prize for following Christ. It is, of course, no news to anyone in Russia what a price can be paid simply for being a believer. But we are given the remarkable advice that we should rejoice when we are persecuted because we are in the good company of the prophets and, still more important, with Jesus the Savior, who never harmed anyone but finally had to carry a cross — we know it to be the holy and life-giving cross but it didn’t look either holy or life-giving at the time — to a place of execution and have nails hammered through his flesh for our sake. But it is on the cross that resurrection begins.

This sermon was preached at the Church of Saints Cosmas&Damian in Moscow on Sunday, March 23, 1996. Jim Forest is co-secretary of the Orthodox Peace Fellowship. The sermon was a step along the way in writing The Ladder of the Beatitudes (Orbis Books, 1999).

By Jim Forest

Source: https://incommunion.org/2005/08/03/the-ladder-of-the-beatitudes/

By Fr. Andrew Lemeshonok

The Church records the life stories of the saints to encourage us and set an example for us. The stories about martyrs whose arms were cut off one by one read as though it was easy and painless. It wasn't. I read acts of Roman martyrs and how they were thrown to the lions. It wasn't as optimistic as it might seem. The martyrs were frightened. They cried and they did not want to die but the Lord covered up their weaknesses and they went on to die for Christ's sake.

Living in a monastery means voluntary martyrdom. A person who comes to a monastery gives up his freedom. If he doesn't, his life continues to be built on his personal will. This isn't monastic life, and one isn't saved by it.

You can get used to any situation. People managed to survive even in concentration camps, in spite of harsh conditions, hard work and hunger... One has to have a purpose that gives him meaning. One can sleep on nails and walk on burning coal – so what? On the contrary, an individual who subdues himself, his pride, for Christ's sake, becomes a Christian and is able to defeat the flesh and the blood.

Humility and obedience are fundamental. If one does not obey anyone and thinks, "Oh, this assignment is so great! No one orders me around; I am my own boss. This place is truly awesome!" he loses something valuable.

Remember how Father Sophrony asked St Silouan, "Elder, do you have plans for your death?" The elder replied, "I'm not humble enough yet." Despite decades of relentless battle against the flesh and the blood, his pride and self-confidence still hadn’t succumbed to his efforts, which was why demons still attacked him. When he finally became a humble person, they were afraid of him. The Lord revealed to Saint Silouan how to humble himself down.

People build their lives as they want. No one can compel them: neither the abbess nor the spiritual father... I can simply posit whether that person lives with God or not, whether she has the Spirit or not. If she does, it's great. If she doesn't, we can only hope that she changes one day.

A fragment of a Monastic Meeting

February 4, 2018

St. Elisabeth Convent

Our culture bombards us with images of marriage. Pictures and news of celebrity and royal marriages and breakups crowd the pages of magazines and internet sites and capture the attention of millions of people, influencing everything from the newest trends in bridal gown design to values concerning intimacy and relationships.

Does the Church hold up any paradigms for marriage to provide the framework for a Christ-centered marriage? Indeed it does. The Church offers three icons from which we can learn how to live the married life: Christ the Bridegroom, Sts. Joachim and Anna, and the Wedding at Cana. These icons represent the three dimensions of marriage, the personal, the intimate, and the communal, respectively. Collectively they give us an Orthodox model for marriage.

Living these three dimensions daily is part of the grace and challenge of married life. We have a “personal” life, that is, who we are and who we are becoming in Christ. Yes, we become “one flesh” in marriage, but we do not become “one person.” Husband and wife remain distinct persons in the marriage relationship. Secondly, husband and wife share an exclusive personal and intimate relationship. Finally, the couple lives the married life in relationship with others, not in isolation.

Christ the Bridegroom: The Personal Dimension

First and most important, is the icon of Christ the Bridegroom, who married us, His bride, the Church, supremely through His suffering and death in the ultimate act of love. He offers Himself to us as the perfect model of the perfect spouse.

Our initial response to being challenged to love our spouse as Christ loves us might be, “He was God; I am human.” However, to be fully human, in fact, means to be like Christ, by grace, through faith.

Let us pause and reflect on Jesus’ humanity. During the three years of His public ministry, He regularly took time to be alone or with his Father in prayer. We also know that He had an inner circle of fellow workers/friends, which began with Peter, James and John and extended to the twelve disciples and a larger group of followers. Additionally, Jesus had other dear friends, most notably, Lazarus, Martha and Mary. Finally, following the natural rhythm of life in His day, we can deduce that Jesus ate a healthy Mediterranean diet and walked a lot. He lived, what we call in contemporary terms, an active, healthy lifestyle.

This may seem like a stretch, but we can conclude that Jesus exemplified “healthy, holy self care” in His daily life. He was a healthy, holy person. When He ministered to others through miracles, teaching, and preaching, Jesus acted in love from a place of fullness. He was secure in His relationship with His Father and others (even though many opposed Him), and He knew His purpose in life. Then, in His final act of love for His bride, His suffering and death, Jesus was able to give everything He had, Himself.

How can we become a better husband or wife? By living and growing in Christ and allowing His grace to grow in us, so that His love works through us in loving our spouse. None of us is capable of loving our spouse with the perfect love of our Bridegroom. However, by God’s grace and faithfully looking to Jesus as the model spouse, we can intentionally enter into the process of holy, healthy self care through prayer, solitude, worship, learning, healthful eating, physical activity, appropriate rest and leisure, fellowship with others, and attending to any unhealthy habits or addictions we may have. Thus, we will become healthy, holy persons, who, by God’s grace and our cooperation, grow to love our spouses from a place of fullness.

Sts. Joachim and Anna: The Intimate Dimension

The second dimension of marriage, the intimate relationship of husband and wife, is beautifully depicted in the icon of Sts. Joachim and Anna, portrayed as an older couple, tenderly embracing each other. This is the private domain of the couple, which involves how husband and wife communicate with one another, resolve conflict, manage finances, navigate personality differences, parent their children, share responsibilities, make decisions, enjoy leisure, show affection, and share physical intimacy. Sometimes we take these areas for granted and do not seek to grow them. At other times we struggle with them. When these difficulties arise, what do we do? Do we attend to them, avoid dealing with them, or allow them to grow and fester?

The tenderness and love depicted in the icon of Sts. Joachim and Anna can only come through a lifetime of a dynamic, maturing marriage. The seed of love we begin with in marriage has the awesome potential, by God’s grace and our cooperation, to become a most magnificent flower. If not nurtured, it will wither and possibly die.

The Wedding at Cana: The Communal Dimension

Finally, each couple lives in relationship to “community,” pictured in the icon of the Wedding at Cana, with Christ and the Theotokos as the honored guests. The sacrament of marriage and the celebration that follows are always in the context of a community, showing that we do not live our married lives in isolation but as part of a larger body, which includes extended family, koumbari, fellow parishioners, neighbors, colleagues and friends. If and when we are blessed with children, they become part of the community of the home, the fruit of the love of the husband and wife in Christ.

Furthermore, as we live out marriage in the context of “community,” we may be challenged to put other relationships ahead of our marriages. Once we are married, we would do well, however, to remember that after Christ, the most important relationship we have is with our spouse.

Conclusion

Collectively, the icons of Christ the Bridegroom, Sts. Joachim and Anna, and the Wedding at Cana encapsulate the meaning of a wholesome and meaningful marriage. In the icon of Christ the Bridegroom, we are given the image of the perfect spouse who unconditionally and sacrificially loves His beloved from a place of fullness and wholeness, grounded in His relationship with the Father and emulating, in his humanity, personal and relational self-care. This icon holds up for us both who we are and who we are becoming. In the icon of Sts. Joachim and Anna, we are given the image of the tender, loving, affectionate, embrace of the couple, signifying the exclusive intimate relationship of husband and wife. Finally, in the icon of the Wedding at Cana, we see the married couple in the context of all of those who constitute the communities in which they live, reminding us that in marriage we do not live in isolation and that we are responsible to hold up marriage as the primary human relationship in our lives while maintaining and growing loving relationships with others.

By Presvytera Kerry Pappas

Source: https://www.goarch.org/-/sacred-image-sacred-marriage

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