3 Questions and 3 Answers with an Orthodox Priest: How Can We Help Our Neighbor?
Archpriest
Andrew Lemeshonok, the spiritual father of St. Elisabeth Convent answers
various questions of the parishioners.
How can I help my neighbor?
Desire is the
beginning of any change. The most horrible thing is when we begin to justify
our sin. When we look around and say, “Well, it seems I am not so lazy. There
are many people worse than me”. This is why the fact you blame yourself and see
your problem and spiritual disease is half the battle.
Now you have to
compel yourself a bit. Do not start any big deal, but start small instead and
try to bring to a conclusion what you do. We need certain rules in prayer and
spiritual life, which we will follow regularly. In housework, it can be
cleaning, for example. With time, you will begin to overcome the feeling of exhaustion,
laziness, lack of focus and dispersion of your desires, thoughts and feelings.
I think you should find a business which you will like and to which you will
devote all your time and effort. Then you should learn it and work a lot
because we all are called upon to serve God and our neighbor. Of course, lazy people
do not inherit the Kingdom of God. They will just oversleep It. So, go to a
church, partake of the Holy Communion and confess your laziness, feeling sorry
for yourself and grumble which comes when we say, “It is so difficult, it is far
beyond my strength, I am so weak and poor!..” This all is nonsense one can
believe in to justify his sins. So go ahead.
What should I do if I have cheated on my wife?
If you have
fallen down, you must stand up.
You need to
understand the reason why that sin occured. That was not a chance. Perhaps,
you have allowed certain thoughts or dreams. Maybe you have not appreciated
what you had or just have used to what you have; you have not been sober and
attentive. Therefore, the enemy used your condition against you. What can I say
you now? You should go to confession and repent your sin. You should do it not
only with words: knowing your guilt, try to serve your wife and your family and prove yourself. You should redeem yourself with your life and
attitude towards your family.
Perhaps, your
wife also has certain infirmities and character weaknesses and you should
cover them with your love too. Of course, you must restrain yourself in future.
Do not fantasize and do not free your imagination. It can show you any pictures,
but these will be the work of the devil. May the Lord prevent you from
committing this sin in future, and may the Lord help you to bear the burdens of
your close ones and thank God for there is the One Who forgives all our sins
and gives us strength to fight with our “old self”.
Should I make my son attend the church?
Of course, it
is difficult to make a 17-year-old person - most likely, the result will be the
opposite. What can you do now? You can be very attentive to your son,
communicate with him more, learn about his interests, help him to understand
this world so that he can find right guide for his future life and, of course,
you can pray for him. If it is possible, persuade him that he should come to
church sometimes. Perhaps, he will meet a priest whom he can trust and with
whom he will manage to establish spiritual connection. It would be good if he
partakes of the Holy Communion. Of course, not always it can happen at once.
But you should set a goal for yourself and go calm and steadily towards it. The
upbringing is ongoing. If we can make a little child to do what we say, then
in this case, you can only persuade him, patiently accept the infirmity of your
son and hope for God’s love, which heals and purifies our sinful hearts. May
the Lord help you.
December 6, 2017
St. Elisabeth Convent