By Sub-deacon Thomas Wilson
It is a
rule of the Orthodox Faith that every person, child or adult, should have a
Godparent at Baptism. To serve as a Godparent is both a special honor and
imposes responsibilities, which last a lifetime. Along with the parents, the
Godparent is charged with the responsibility of assisting in the spiritual
development of the child. In some cultures the Godparent is addressed by a
special name (an example is nouno/nouna in Greek.) Whether a blood relative or
not, the Godparent becomes a part of the "spiritual family" of that
Godchild.
Selection of a Godparent
The Greek
Orthodox Archdiocese of North America advises that the selection of a godparent
is an important choice because the godparent is responsible for the spiritual
up bringing of your child. You should think of the person as becoming a member
of your family and a relationship that will be lifelong. Often family members
will be selected as godparents but they can be non-family members as well. In
Greek tradition, the best man (koumbaros) or Brides Maid (koumbara) of the
parents wedding will baptize the couple's first child. It is best, if you wish
someone else, you should at least consult with them about your choice.
As the
Godparent is the sponsor at baptism, it should be realized that only someone
who is a member in good standing of the Orthodox church, in full sacramental
communion, and knows at least the main tenets of the Christian faith and its
ethics, as well as the meaning of the mystery of baptism and of the vows which
are given in the name of the baptized which are to be conveyed and explained to
the latter when he has reached maturity. Thus, the sponsor at baptism cannot
be:
a) minor, i.e. a boy younger than 15, or a girl
less than 13;
b) someone ignorant of the faith;
c) someone guilty of overt sins, or in general a
person who in the opinion of the community has fallen in his or her moral life;
d) non-orthodox Christian. Parents may not be
sponsors of their own children; on the contrary, should this occur, the very
matrimonial bond of the parents should be dissolved in accordance with Canon 53
of the Sixth Ecumenical Council, since sponsorship creates a spiritual
relationship considered by the Church in this canon to be more important than
"the union according to the flesh."
The Historic Role of the Godparent in the
Orthodox Church
The
institution of sponsors (god-parents), who serve as witnesses and guarantors
for the faith of the person being baptized and are obligated to edify him in
the rules of Christian life, has existed since the first century of the
Christian era. Church literature of the second suggests that the sponsors of
the first centuries were usually deacons, deaconesses, hermits, virgins, and in
general persons dedicated to the service of the Church and thus capable of
edifying the newly-baptized in the truths of the Christian faith and its
ethical principles. According to the "Apostolic Canons" (3, 16), a
male Christian was obliged to take one deacon, and a woman one deaconess as
sponsor. This practice has been maintained in the Church ever since, i.e., a
person baptized is required to be sponsored by one person of the same sex.
According to the Rudder (ch. 50, pt. 2), the person baptized, "when he
leaves the saving bath, must be received by one faithful person."
In the
early history of the Russian Church, until the fourteenth century, it was
customary to have only one sponsor, and it is only in the fifteenth century
that the practice of inviting two god-parents--a man and a woman--was
established. In the course of time this practice of the Russian Church received
legal sanction not only on the basis of established custom, but also through
later directives of the Holy Synod, although even to this day in principle only
one sponsor is necessary. Our Book of Needs, which contains the service of
baptism, mentions only one sponsor in the prayers for mercy, life, peace,
health, salvation, and the forgiveness of sins of the Augmented Litany which is
said twice, after the reading of the Gospel and at the conclusion of the Order
of Ablution for the eighth day.
Baptismal Guidelines [Greek Orthodox
Archdiocese of North America]
The
following are guidelines for the Godparents sponsoring a baptism in the Greek
Orthodox Church [it should be noted that each tradition/jurisdiction may vary
on the specifics and the priest doing the baptism will advise the Godparents of
the parish practices]:
1) The Sponsor (Godfather or Godmother) must be
an Orthodox Christian. If the Sponsor is married, the marriage must have been
blessed by an Orthodox priest.
2) The role of the Sponsor is directly related
to infant baptism. Since the infant is unable to make the necessary confession
of faith, the Sponsor stands and vouches for it.
3) The Sponsor should be ready to recite the
Nicene Creed either in Greek or English. For three consecutive Sundays after
the baptism, the Sponsor should carry the neophyte for the Holy Altar to
receive Holy Communion.
4) According to the tradition of the Orthodox
church, one name of Orthodox Christian origin should be given to the child at
the time of baptism.
5) The day, time, and other arrangements of the
baptism must be made with the priest. Please call the church office to discuss
these arrangements at least one month before the baptism.
6) The Godparent traditionally provides:
a) A complete change of clothes for
the child
b) One bottle of olive oil
c) A cross for the child
d) Three white candles
e) One of each of the following: bar
of soap, hand towel, bath towel, sheet
f) Martyrika (small pins or ribbons
that are given to those who attend a baptism, the word martyrika means
"witness")
g) Bringing Child to Eucharist on
day of Baptism and Communing with Him/Her:
- Necessity
of preparing for communion oneself
- Bringing
Child next three weeks to communion, with baptismal candle in baptismal garment
- Godparent
gives child bath on 3rd day after baptism (no bath prior to this)
- Consistent
contact and focus always on spiritual relationship.
Working together: Godparent and Parent
It is
important for the Godparent to work with your godchild's parents. Talk with
your godchild's parents often about his or her life, spiritual and otherwise,
and ask how you can help. Parents can often use another perspective -- and
another willing hand -- as they guide their children to adulthood. Parents
choose Godparents who will reinforce them, people to whom our children can turn
when the parents are not cool enough to listen to them, and when they need to
hear difficult truths from someone who loves them.
Parents
may be unsure whether they are too strict or too lenient, Godparents are a good
sounding board for discussing this when it pertains to the Godchild. Parents
may wish to make the Godparents the child's emergency contact person after the
parents so the secular world relies appropriately on the Godparent when crisis
hits.
Parents
should light candles and pray for their children's Godparents every time they
enter a church, say their family and personal prayers. Likewise the Godparents
should pray not only for their Godchild but the Godchild's parents as well.
The Responsibility of the Godchild
Godparent
and Godchild should develop a close and loving relationship. As with any
relationship, this spiritual one needs to be fostered and cared for in order for
it to develop. The best way for this relationship to grow is through prayer.
Pray for your Godparent and his/her family. By doing this you are encouraging a
relationship and giving it the spiritual basis on which to mature.
When
greeting one's Godparent, you should feel the love and familiarity that you
have with your own parents. It is NOT inappropriate to hug or kiss your
godparents, as you would your own parents.
A
Godchild should light candles and pray for their Godparents every time they
enter a church, say their family prayers, and say their personal prayers. The
Godchild should observe the Godparents names day. Celebrate it with a special
visit and dinner if you're nearby, and give a "spiritually oriented"
gift to celebrate, like a spiritual book of the Godparent's patron saint's
life, a new icon, etc.
Keep in
touch by phone, e-mail, or postcard if your Godparent lives out of state or
across the globe. Prayer and love in Christ know no distance!
There
will come a time in which your Godparents have aged and are less able to be
fully present with you do to illness or perhaps a nursing home placement.
Remember to continue to pray for them and visit or write them often to maintain
your relationship. Ask for their advice even though you have grown up.
Finally
there will come a day in which your Godparents will repose in the Lord,
maintain your image of your Godparents in your mind to help brings peace and
memories of love and wisdom. Pray for your Godparents and offer memorial
services in their memory, do works and offer alms in their name. And pray for
them as they will continue to do for you in heaven.
What If Godparents Don't Work Out?
Although
great care and many prayers are put forth by the parents in choosing the
Godparent for their child, sometimes after the baptism the relationship does
not grow. It's sad to have your child want to disown their
"missing-in-action" godparent, but it can happen. If after repeated
efforts the godparent does not respond and since it is so important for our
children to have the influence of a "godparent," ask yourself,
"Who among my closest Orthodox friends could relate to my child and serve
as a spiritual mentor?" Discuss the situation with your spiritual
father/parish priest. Ask God to guide your efforts. Ask that person to
consider the task and to pray about it. If that person agrees, let your child
know that this individual is there for him/her. If the person does not consent,
keep on praying and asking. Have faith that God will provide for your child's
spiritual needs.
Source: http://www.orthodoxconvert.info/Q-A.php?c=Piety-About%20Being%20a%20Godparent
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