Answer by Fr. Andrew Lemeshonok: Dear Matushka Anna, although you refuse to accept
this title, you’ve become a matushka for real. It is God’s saving grace and
God’s mercy toward you. Perhaps, you don’t understand a lot of what is going on
yet. You have a habit of sinful living. This is your new duty, and if you are
patient, if you at least make some effort, I believe that you will become a
very good matushka.
The matushka’s role
is helping the priest. It is inner struggle to make sure that there is peace in
your family, that you really love your husband. Who can we love when we are in
such a sinful condition? In order to learn to love, you’ve got to change your
life, you should correct all those errors that you’ve committed in your life.
To do so, you’ll require quite a lot of hard work and time.
That is why you shouldn’t complain or whine that you’re so miserable, that you didn’t want it, that you didn’t know it or didn’t understand anything at all. You became a seminarian’s wife so you might have assumed in advance that he would become a priest in the end. Isn’t that the reason young men go to seminary?
Right now, it’s
vital that the devil doesn’t break up your family, in which case the new priest
will remain single forever. You see what could happen? The devil will do what
it takes to destroy your family. He will whisper into your ear, “Ditch your
priest and live freely as you please.” Haven’t you had enough of that freedom
already? That’s why you currently need to brace yourself and start changing. To
do so, you’ll need to open a prayerbook and the Gospel, and go to the church
where your husband serves. You should feel that you’re a wife and begin to
build up your family and your inner self, which is so pathetic right now. Work
hard! You’ll never regret the fruit of your labour. May the
Lord save you, Matushka!
November
23, 2018
St. Elisabeth Convent
CONVERSATION