The Catalog of Good Deeds

In the midst of everything that is going on in college, I know that many of you are probably also thinking about getting married or pursing romantic relationships. Dating can be a tough scene for us Orthodox Christians–let’s be honest: there are not that many of us, and there can be a lot of pressure from family to make something work or to choose a particular kind of person. Not to mention the crazy way the world often treats relationships as means simply to fulfill our own selfish desires. A little advice:

Take your time to find the right person. No matter how many times yiayia asks you when you’re getting married and making babies, hold out for the right person–the person who makes it easy to love, forgive, and live a life of faith.

Trust your parents, your priest, and your peers. Within reason. If there is a resounding “please-don’t-marry-this-person” coming from all directions, chances are, something’s not right.

Keep marriage in mind, but don’t overdo it. Yes, we date with the question, “Am I going to marry this person?” present in our minds and prayerfully in our hearts, but, especially when you are first getting to know someone, you don’t need to rush to that conclusion. Protecting yourself from giving away too much of who you are (and I’m not just talking sex) too quickly can help you strengthen a relationship over time if it is the right one.

Look for someone better than you. If you feel like you are dragging a person behind you in any way, but especially spiritually, this is not the person for you. Not only are you setting yourself up for a giant lack of humility, if that person really isn’t your equal, you could be setting yourself up for a difficult marriage. Your spouse should humble you with their faith and devotion, they should have spiritual gifts you admire, especially ones which you feel like you lack. Along the same lines, avoid dating someone you see as “a fixer-upper.” It’s not good if you think you need to save your significant other or be a missionary via dating.

Pray. Pray for guidance in finding the right person and help to navigate your relationships when you get into them. Pray for your future spouse, even if you haven’t met them yet. And with that, here are a few saints who can help you along the way:

St. Xenia (Ksenia) of St. Petersburg

St. Xenia (January 24) is known for helping people with the things she herself lost or gave up in her own lifetime: a spouse, a house, and a job. She was a young married woman, living somewhat carefree and never really thinking about her soul when her young husband died suddenly after he’d been out drinking with his friends. Shocked, Xenia ran from St. Petersburg, returning eight years later as a homeless wanderer. Many of the people derided her as an insane homeless person, but she bore their insults while praying unceasingly for the people of St. Petersburg. In her own life, she was granted the gifts of prophecy and great prayer. When it comes to looking for the right person, St. Xenia is known not only for bringing together godly people but also for saving young people from bad marriages. Pray to her as you are considering who to date and whether or not he or she is the right person for you. Know this, once St. Xenia has entered into your life, she’ll likely be around for the rest of it, and she is known for often answering prayers very quickly–be prepared (I know this not only from many stories I have heard from others, but from my own experience–my first daughter is named for this amazing saint because of her constant intercessions for us).

Sts. Joachim and Anna

I once heard of a young couple who had just started dating and were asking a married woman they considered a spiritual mentor, “To whom should we pray for our relationship?” They wanted to know who might help them discern whether this was the right relationship and who would help them remain pure in their intentions and their actions as they got to know each other. The woman brilliantly suggested Sts. Joachim and Anna (September 9). Sts. Joachim and Anna, the parents of the Mother of God, were both from important Jewish lineages, St. Joachim being the descendant of King David and St. Anna being of the tribe of Levi, the tribe of the priesthood. What’s most notable, of course, is that they put their trust in God in their relationship, having faith in Him that He would bless them with a child even in their old age. They prayed to God for each other and for a miracle to be worked in their lives. The icon of them embracing each other depicts a pure and devoted love that we can hope to imitate in our own (eventual) marriages.

Source: http://www.ocf.net/dating-advice-orthodox-style/

During excavations near the Palestinian town of Ramallah archaeologists have discovered a greatest Christian relic – the burial place of Holy Archdeacon Stephen, the First Martyr for Christ, reports the Linga news portal.

Research in the Kharaba at Taiar village, which lies two kilometers west of Ramallah, carried out by the Palestinian and Israeli researchers have yielded unexpected results. Within the framework of a project by the University of Jerusalem for the discovery and restoration of antiquities, a group of archaeologists led by Dr. Salah al Hudeliyya has discovered ruins of an entire church complex that includes a temple of the Byzantine-Umayyad era as well as a Byzantine monastery.

According to a statement by Dr. al Hudeliyya, this find is of great value for Christians worldwide.

“Inside one of these churches we came across an inscription which indicates that this church had been built in honor of Holy Apostle and Archdeacon Stephen the Protomartyr, buried here in 35 AD,” the historian related.

The researcher has assured the local and Church authorities, whose representatives recently visited the newly discovered ruins, that the university, as before, will put all its resources and energy into implementation of the current project.

“There are five years left, and then the necessary research will be completed and this monument will be ready; it will surely become a pilgrimage site for believers from all over the world. Tourists will take advantage of the opportunity as well, because this site is a living example of continuity of the cultures of the Middle East region: here on the same site we can see the heritage of antiquity, early and late middle ages, Hellenistic, Byzantine, and Islamic cultures,” the archaeologist said in conclusion.

One fourth of the Kharaba at Taiar village belongs to the Church of Jerusalem, which the expert believes will make this settlement a suitable place for pilgrims.

Source: http://theorthodoxchurch.info/blog/news/burial-place-of-holy-archdeacon-stephen-the-protomartyr-discovered/