The Catalog of Good Deeds

“Those of us who make the first steps on their way to God should take an example from the little ones”

Saint John Climacus. The Ladder of Divine Ascent, I, 23

The following excerpts were taken and translated from an Italian book “Dalla Trinità all'eucaristia. L'icona della Trinità di Rublëv” by Daniel Ange. Children from all over the world were shown the icon of the Holy Trinity of Andrei Rublev. These children never received any primary or church education. The children were first shown the icon without any explanation of its origin. Then the author explained who was depicted on the icon and the children were asked to give a second opinion after the meaning was explained to them. Here is what they said as about the icon:

First impression	After the meaning’s explained
The tree watches the angel in the middle. He looks consented. It seems they have been invited, but they ask me to come too.	It seems Jesus has the sun on his vestments. They love each other. There’s an opened door for me, and it leads to the flame-colored house. Jean-Maria, 8 years
The angel from the right gives the glad eye on the cup that stands on the table. They are happy but they are among the sad land. Nadezhda, 11 years
The angels are having a meal of love. They are dressed in the festal Sunday vestments. Mary, 5.5 years
These are the apostles or the angels…	This icon prepares the joy that will spread all over the world in future. All the three are talking without saying a word. Cristian, 13 years
I see Jesus and two His disciples from Emmaus on the icon… He looks sad at them. The two disciples are listening attentively to risen Christ.	I think it’s the icon of love. I really like the background as it’s painted in bright and festal colors. They are watching, as if they are little orphans, who lost their faith and life with the Lord. They are sad and unhappy like poor people. Domenic, 12 years
We can see the angels taking the Body of Christ… They are looking at us and at the plate with alter-bread at the same time.	What amazes me most is their natural beauty. The Almighty Father wears really strange clothes. The rock is painted in a strange way too. I want to cry and to laugh at the same time. Mary-Annic, 12 years
Jesus and two apostles are going to take the alter-bread. They have the same hair and depicted in the same way.	Oh! The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. You are asking me to come to you, into your house. You are dressed in special colors, in colors of joy. Domenic, 11.5 years
There are three angels and a bowl of wine. There is a holly that doesn’t blossom behind the middle angel. They look as if they are praying in front of this bowl.	It’s strange that the Holy Ghost is depicted like a man. And since they have the wings they don’t need crooks. Cecilia, 11.5 years
These are three Faces of the Holy Trinity. There are a bowl and bread in the middle of the table. They are sitting in the altar. It’s obvious they are praying whole-heartedly.	Their hearts are full of love and opened to everyone. They have attentive and gentle look. Sofia, 11 years
The faces of these three images are beautiful. They are a bit sad, but in their heart they’re happy. They left the door open for everyone passing by.	Oh, dear Lord. You are the source of life and God. You love us all and we love you too. Our hearts are bounded with yours for life eternal. Catherine, 11 years
These men have the wings, there are three persons… They are praying at the table. I think this is Jesus in Abraham’s house.	The icon represents the circle, where we can come back any time and stay for as long as possible. The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost are really well-dressed, their clothes are beautiful. They are sad, and it seems their hearts are heavy. They hands look very tired. Domenic, 12 years
What impresses me is that the icon shows three sad persons, who are silent. Jesus, look at these people, because they are sad, and make them feel happy, because I feel sorry for them.	It suggested me a thought about a family: a father, a son, and a mother. The icon reminds me a Sunday in my church. Christian, 12 years
There are three creatures with wings… They look like as if they are very simple.	These are three Images: the Father, the Son and the holy Ghost. Their glance makes a semicircle. These three great men are wearing the blue tunics, but the Father has a very modest one on. There’s an entrance in front of the table. Those, who want, may enter the Kingdom of God. Jean-Michel, 11.5 years
An icon is a work of a prayer, as the icon-painter spends a lot of their time praying in order to make it represent his resignation. When you look at it you feel someone looks at you too.	They all have tender look and the Son looks fondly at the Father. There’s a rock on the icon which should symbolize the words like “you must build your house on the rock, because if you built it in the sand, it will ruin”. Jaclyn, 12 years
There are people who are going to take the sacrament. They are sitting at the table, perhaps in the open air.	Three persons look very prayerful. They are going to take the sacrament. The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost look as if they are waiting for someone and discussing something significant. Jean-Luca, 14 years
Three men are sitting at the table. This table looks like an altar.	They are happy and they want everyone follow them to live happy too. The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost are dressed in blue clothes, just like Mother of God. They look as if they are searching for someone. Patrick, 13 years
I think this icon represents God and His two disciples taking bread together, as if they are sitting on the altar. It seems strange to me, because we must not do so out of respect for God.	Oh, Father! Oh, Son! Oh, Holy Ghost! Come back and have a glance at us. Grant us courage, which will be good and pure. Make our hearts pure and sacred. Oh, how beautiful and holy is the church behind! Lorenza, 12 years
All the three take something red in their hands. They look poor.	I’m impressed, because someone has managed to depict the whole life and the necessity of living by the spirit, because the real life is inside us… This icon shows how much God loves us. Jean-Jacomo, 12 years
These are Jesus and His two disciples. It’s afternoon. They are taking something and, perhaps, they are taking the sacrament. It seems they are dressed like the ancient Romans.	This reminds me a discussion between the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost about the way to find the mean that will make the people’s life easier. In the bowl there are a bunch of grapes and communion bread, which will fill us with divine life. Gwenell, 12 years
Jesus and two His disciples are praying in silence. They think about all the people who don’t know Him. A bowl of wine and bread can be seen there as the sign of the last dinner. They look sad and confused.	This icon reminds me about Christ and His readiness to suffer for all of us. The icon teach me to love the others as much as Jesus love us all. Anna-Maria, 13 years
Oh, my God! You are almighty, You are the Lord of the whole earth. You gifted us the faith and this ability to faith brings us joy and happiness.	The blue tunic of the Son means the priest’s vestment, and the tunic of the Holy Ghost represents water. Water is transparent, and there can be nothing without it… The icon is “open” – there’s a small entry between the feet of the Father and the Holy Ghost. It’s a place for the Christians, so that they can life according to the Christianly. Anna-Maria, 13 years
The icon suggested me a thought about the disciples from Emmaus, who share bread with Jesus. They met Him suddenly after the day He has risen.	They’re sitting in front of the altar and praying as they want people to adhere the Word of God. They are hard at prayer. Cecilia, 11.5 years
On this picture we can see these three women are saint… It depicts an episode that takes place in a castle in Jesus’ times. One may think that they are watching how Jesus is growing up in this little bowl.	They look upset and poor, but they are beautiful. They are anxious as they see people go towards a disaster and ignorance. Paskal, 13 years
Three characters are very alike. They look like the kings sitting on their thrones. The colors are bright and festal.	Jesus looks at His Father, but the Ghost is depicted as hidden and forgotten. The rock means the stone on which Jesus has prayed to God. The Father is asking his Son if he wants to die crucified. Lenaik, 11.5 years
Their Faces amaze me, because when you look at them you feel God’s fondness.	And now I’m amazed by the Ghost depicted as a human. What is more, the Father, Who’s dressed in the simplest clothes, impresses me too. Veronica, 11.5 years
The icon reminds me Jesus, Who blessed the bread. And on the background we can see the women praying to Him.	The icon reminds me the dinner at the Abraham’s house. They are poor and they’re waiting for the birth of the Abraham’s son. So there will be one more Christian on earth! Joel, 12.5 years
This icon is pure and saint. It’s nice. These three characters are looking at the gifts on the plate. I like the colors of their vestments, as they represent all the wonders of the world.	Oh, God, how wonderful You are in Your blue coat! You are looking at Your Father and You love Him to death. My God, how great you are in this lost in the universe world. My God, You have so much mercy on poor and unhappy people. You open us your heart and soul to save us all. Thierry, 14 years
The icon of the Holy Trinity depicts the angels, because we can see the wings. They are going to take the Body of Christ.	I’m impressed by Jesus constantly looking at His Father and by his tunic. He was dipped into blood and that’s why His tunic is red. There’s also an entry for people so that they can pray together with the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. There’s also a holly-tree. Oliver, 12 years

Order Handpainted Icons from the Icon Painting Workshop of St.Elisabeth Convent

The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Here we can see the liturgy in Eden. The world seems peaceful and nice. Their look seems pure to me, they look not sad, but very happy. The houses around seem empty. Why is it so? Without any doubts they are praying because they want our world to be the as nice as theirs one.

Valeria, 12 years

I see there three Faces of the Holy Trinity. They look at the earth and at people who do evil or who do some good. Why do they look so sad?

Emanuela, 10 years

The Holy Face in the middle is peaceful and nice. It fosters you to pray. Its head is a bit tilted as if it wants to express its desire or feeling. All of them have got a stick. Perhaps because they shepherd people, but they let them be free. Just like a shepherd let the cattle scamper and leap. We can see a bunch of grapes which means the blood of risen Christ. I think, Jesus sits in the medium, and two others are the Father and the Holy Ghost. Jesus has served the first liturgy, and it seems to me, that the Face in the middle is at the altar.

Christina, 10 years

Something makes me think about Lady Mary… This tree is Mary!

(The child has never heard about the stem of Jesse).

Philip, 9 years

They share a meal, just like on Sundays. But they have got the sticks. Perhaps, do they want to act like shepherds do?

Sandrina, 11 years

Three Faces of the Holy Trinity are placed around the table as if they’re praying. There’s a bowl. They should be speaking about the bowl. Are they in heaven?

Mark, 10.5 years

I don’t know what’s in the plate. Bread? I see the two reaching their hands to the plate. I believe there are two symbols on the table – oak-tree and church.

Sofia, 10 years

I see there the Father and two His Faces – the Son and the Holy Ghost. I believe Christ let them take the sacrament. This icon makes me pray, because these Faces are pure of heart.

Valeria, 10 years

These three Holy Faces mean the Father, Christ and the Holy Ghost. They don’t say a word because they are fully tender. I’d like to be here and stay in front of the icon forever. I just want to contemplate them and their silence doesn’t depress me. They are made of light that you won’t find on earth. It’s so bright that my eyes hurt. The only thing that surprises me is that none of them has wounds from crucifixion.

Nikolay, 13 years

This may happen after Christ’s death. He asks His father to forgive the people who have killed Him. Or maybe they discuss everything bad what people do on earth (wars, for example), talk about Christian life. Perhaps they think whether they could show people something special to encourage people (for example, the image of Saint Margaret).

Francisco, 11 years

I’m in front of the Father, the Son is to the right and the Holy Ghost is to the left. The Father asks me:

- Where are you from?

- Do you want to drink?

- Come with us.

- You may sit in the shadow and rest.

- Let us celebrate.

Ives, 11 years

There are three wayfarers who came to Abraham. It’s God. The Holy Ghost and the Son look at the Father. The crooks are the symbols of their journey. We don’t see the sun, because they are staying near the camp and it casts the shadow. There’s only one bowl, because they are three into one.

Michal, 13 years

We are involved into the icon and we can hear their conversation:

- Let us go and visit Abraham, – says one of them.

- But it’s far away in the desert, – says the other.

- That’s fine, God will save us, – answers the first one.

- Sure, but it’s too hot at this time, – says the third.

- Well, but when should we go then? – asks the second.

- We will go tomorrow in the morning. – answers the first.

Eve, 13 years

They are under the banner of the cross. These are the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. They are both alike and different at the same time. The Father’s hand looks like the Son’s one… And it seems they are talking and keeping silent at the same time. There’s a bowl, it’s Eucharist. There’s enough place for the whole world. He says us: I love you. The seat in front of the table means all of us are invited to join them and to take sacrament. He’s waiting for us. I have never seen this icon before, but I’m so happy I’ve found it!

Eduard, 8 years

Father, can you tell us about the Jesus prayer? Have you had experience with it?

Hieromonk Eustathius: Of course, I have! I have had very rich experience... «I have reached great grace...» (laughs).

No, I mean, really... Hardly anyone speaks about it openly. Can you tell us anything about it?

Hieromonk Eustathius: Speaking frankly, without showing off or making myself look humble... The Jesus prayer is essential for a monastic. First of all, one has to carry out his or her daily prayer rule - this is obvious. In fact, if a person does not perform his daily prayer rule, he will never learn to pray the Jesus prayer. The details of the daily prayer rule are to be discussed with one’s spiritual counselor; however, there are certain guidelines. For instance, a Stavrophore monk in our Zhirovichi monastery must say five hundred Jesus prayers daily, a Rassaphore monk must say three hundred daily, while a novice has a rule of one hundred Jesus prayers every single day.

In our Convent, a Rassaphore nun has a rule of five hundred Jesus prayers daily, whereas a Stavrophore nun must say this prayer 1,000 or 1,500 times.

Hieromonk Eustathius: Sounds like a lot... Sure, the numbers aren’t what matters most. The essence of the prayer of the heart is standing before God. Why is the rule, which is done when a person is alone in his cell (or in any other isolated place where no one can see you), so important? It is through this rule that a person learns to stay focused on prayer. I often use the following example when speaking with novices and with the sisters from the Slonim convent, and I believe this example may adequately show the importance of the cell rule for a monastic. When a person begins to practice sports, his coach tells him: First, it is very important that you do your exercises every day. Second, you must do the exercises properly. Some athletes even stand in front of a mirror in order to move properly. An athlete practices every day without hurry, one exercise after another. If the athlete misses one workout, he will immediately feel it. The exercises may be very strenuous, especially in the beginning, but gradually an athlete begins to love these exercises even though they are tough. The person begins to enjoy the process.

A musician is another example of a person who has to play boring drills every day... A person who studies a foreign language also has to practice with attention and commitment every day. Gradually, one develops a taste for the process itself.

When a monk begins to perform his daily prayer rule, it is like a lesson where not a single prayer, not a single word must be missed. Every single prayer, every single word must hit the target. What is the target? The main purpose of the Jesus prayer is unity with God. So when you say the Jesus prayer, you should read each word consciously, as a basic requirement. In other words, you must understand what you are saying.

Furthermore, one has to cast away doubts and distracting thoughts, which will inevitably impede one’s prayer. The more attentive a person is, the more furious the bad thoughts are. Of course, God’s grace sometimes gives us an opportunity to pray without this struggle but in fact, it only happens in the beginning of our spiritual life (or as an exception), and is rarely found later. This is the Lord Himself praying with us, and there is nothing we can boast of. Then the Lord allows the person to do something independently, and bad thoughts begin fighting against the believer... There are three types of such thoughts, as a rule. Either you begin to remember how someone else hurt you, and begin to feel angry... or you are tempted with vain pride (like when you have said one hundred Jesus prayers without distraction and begin to think you are a better person than you were yesterday, and you are becoming a great ascetic), or you are tempted with lustful thoughts (scenes and images, often from one’s sinful past)... The enemy seduces one’s soul with something that devastates her spiritually and keeps God’s grace away from her. I am not going to say that when you say the Jesus prayer you must be filled with grace. However, you still need some grace in order to be attentive. It is very hard to be attentive but it is the primary task for the person on the first stage of the Jesus prayer practice. The feeling of repentance that the Holy Fathers (St Ignatius Bryanchaninov, for instance) are speaking of is a gift from above and a result of attentive prayer. This is how God answers to the work a person does in order to learn to pray without distraction.

A person needs years, or even decades, to learn to pray without distraction. Many people are looking for the deep prayer of the heart and jump the stairs...and fail. You know, they are like amateur musicians who are sometimes able to play the guitar like a virtuoso, but if you ask them to play C major scale slowly and accurately they refuse.

When a person practices Jesus prayer daily and properly, he will soon be able to use this prayer like a sword in extreme circumstances. If you learn how to use this sword, it will be an ideal emergency kit in case of temptations. When you are tempted or upset, you just say a Jesus prayer and restore the peaceful mood. Ideally, one should pray without ceasing but the daily prayer rule is the first step to it. Later, one should remember to pray during the day but it is another story.

You know, we can talk endlessly about it. This topic itself may have so many issues to be resolved depending on the person’s level of spiritual prowess. Speaking from the practical point of view, almost all of us are absolute beginners. We all are newbies because there are hardly any teachers of Jesus prayer nowadays. At least, I have never met one. This is why we have to go this road alone, like a mine-picker through a minefield (laughs). Certainly, I ask advice of some priests - one or two of them. Father Andrew used to correct me when I was in St Elisabeth Convent because I was really going astray at that time...

This is why I do not feel it is wrong to speak about Jesus prayer and I will be happy if you give me some advice. I believe we should help one another and share our experience. I do not think one should conceal his spiritual practice. Secrecy is okay if one has anything to hide but we all are beginners... The Jesus prayer is just a regular prayer, like all the rest. It is just the most effective and the easiest method of fighting one’s sinful thoughts, and that is enough.

Father Eustathius, what spiritual books are you reading now? When a person grows spiritually, he goes step by step and each time his tastes are determined by his current spiritual needs. What do you like to read now?

Hieromonk Eustathius: Oh, you know, it is hard to say... I have to read a lot of scholarly books on the subject I teach in the seminary - the New Testament for the third and the fourth years. Certainly, I read works by the Holy Fathers from time to time, in particular, St Ignatius (Bryanchaninov), St Theophan the Recluse, the ancient Fathers: Abba Dorotheos, Barsanuphios the Great and John the Prophet, St Isaac the Syrian... When you read the ancient (and not so ancient) Holy Fathers, you come to realise how far you are from holiness because you have a chance to compare yourself not with brothers from your monastery but with the Holy Fathers. You suddenly realise that you cannot even understand what the Fathers aim at sometimes, let alone catch up with their spiritual practice. This is what gives you a proper view on yourself and humbles you down... It is no revelation, perhaps, if I say that monasticism of our time is very weak, to be sincere. I saw it more clearly when I became a spiritual father myself, however hard this fact is to bear...

As far as modern authors are concerned, I like sermons and talks of Schema-Archimandrite Abraham (Reidmann), the spiritual father of the New Tikhvin Convent in Yekaterinburg. This author speaks about the key issues of monastic life from his own experience. He does not only state the problem, like Archimandrite Lazarus (Abashidze), for instance, but also gives useful advice. In particular, I like what he writes about the Jesus prayer. I have bought a three-volume set of his talks called “The Better Part” and I would recommend these books to monastics. There is another good book dedicated to the practice of the Jesus prayer in three volumes called “The Jesus Prayer: the Experience of Two Millenia”, where the third volume is the most interesting... A book by Archbishop Anthony (Golynsky-Mikhailovsky) “On Jesus Prayer” is also a must read for everyone.

And finally, books by Archimandrite Sophronios (Sakharov). When Fr Andrew recommended them to me for the first time, I could not understand anything. However, when I was in the seminary I developed taste for these books... It was thanks to them that I was able to pull through. I liked Archimandrite Sophronios so much that I devoted my diploma and later my thesis research to his works. Archimandrite Emilian of Simonopetra called his works “The Philokalia of our time”.

The Holy Fathers say that monasticism is a great science. A science that is greater than any other science and an art that is greater than any other art. This is why learning is so essential. When one has a good teacher like your Father Andrew, a remarkable spiritual counselor, it is wonderful. Well, he is my teacher as well because I do not separate myself from the community of St Elisabeth. Unfortunately, I do not have an opportunity to talk with him often, to seek his detailed advice with regard to many issues, for instance, certain issues of the Jesus prayer... I wish I could discuss the most strategic issues of my spiritual life with him. Whether I like it or not, I have to go my own way, sometimes the trial-and-error way, however hard it may be. One cannot be guided solely by books. A live advice and relationship is needed so badly nowadays.

Father, you have told us that you are the spiritual father of a Convent. What difficulties do you have to face in this field?

Hieromonk Eustathius: You know, when I was a writer, I was sure I know much about female mentality. Take, for instance, my aforementioned novel where there are two main characters: He and She. When I gave this novel to my friends, including females, they said that the female character was brilliantly caught. However, when I became the spiritual father of the convent, I came to realize that I did not know anything about women and that the only thing left for me to say was, Lord have mercy! The nuns are so very different from the brothers at the Zhirovichi monastery, and it is much easier to deal with the brothers.

There is a number of factors which explain why it is harder to counsel a convent than a monastery. First, as I have already said, a soul of a female is much more complex than a soul of a male, and this is not meant to praise the soul of a female. I wish it were simpler... Second, it depends on whether a monastic community is built around a spiritual father, like it is the case in St Elisabeth Convent where all the nuns are spiritual children of Father Andrew. When I came to the Slonim convent, I discovered that some sisters had their own spiritual counselors and thus their own understanding of the spiritual life... Unintentionally, they start to compare me with other priests. “His Grace Benjamen wouldn’t do so and so, he wouldn’t say this or that...” (His Grace Benjamen was the spiritual father of the convent in Slonim before). In fact, I can understand how the sisters feel. They did not want me to come but I came to teach and to guide them.

The truth is that such perception of a spiritual father is harmful for their own growth, for the most part. I attempt to act politely, I do not teach them how to live, I never offer my advice, I just listen to their confessions and nothing more. I give my advice only if the sister asks for it herself. Still, it is very difficult to explain anything to them... Generally, the most difficult thing of all is to tell someone the truth. It is practically impossible because either you become an enemy of that person or, at the very least, they think you are tactless and rude... A person would think you mock at her, you try to execute your power and “humble” that person down (in the worst sense of this word) so she immediately starts to defend herself. It is hard to speak of spiritual work in such a situation. Today I see only one solution to it - humbling myself down before the sisters and giving them spiritual pills and vitamins.

Why do they perceive your critical remarks as mockery? Is it because they understand that you are right and it is painful for them to acknowledge it?

Hieromonk Eustathius: No, in fact, they cannot see that, as a rule. Even if a sister guessed that the problem I was talking about was real, she is often afraid to acknowledge that.

How does this go with humility?

Hieromonk Eustathius: What is humility? Do you know? (laughs). Sure, if a person lives in a monastery, he begins to look at humility and obedience in a different way than when he was a layman. I remember how humble I was at St Elisabeth Convent, oh, what an ascetic I was! I remember coming to the church at 4 am with enthusiasm and seeing tired monastic sisters sleeping in the corners... Come on, had they ever heard that we were called to “Lift up our hearts!”?I was also tired but I was a lay person and was still doing something!..

Ohh!

Now I look at these sisters with different eyes. I have started to understand them, of course, because now I am similar to them. Sometimes I find myself walking to my cell after the service staggering, especially if I had listened to confessions throughout the service... Some pilgrims stare at me in surprise, and I am afraid they think I am drunk... Because I stagger, my legs are swelling because my weak heart won’t let me stand in one place without a single movement... I look at Fr Andrew and come to realise that when I am his age, they will drive me around in a cart, perhaps...

What is humility and obedience then?

Hieromonk Eustathius: Well, I can put it this way... For a monastic, the easiest way to learn humility is his or her obedience. Obedience means turning down one’s will. Three simple words: abandon thy will. Yet it is SO difficult! Generally, one can understand how difficult it is only if he ever tried to refuse to act according to his desires. It is not so hard to refuse your wishes and desires for what your spiritual father tells you to do because you love your spiritual father and trust him but it is much more difficult to subdue your will before someone who is put in charge of what you are doing especially if she is younger or less experienced as a monastic, or if you are a nun already (just listen how it sounds: I am a nun already!), and she is just a novice... Is it easy? What about abandoning your will for a sister you share your cell with if she always opens up (or closes) the window or snores all night... Or if she sniffles all the time, or if she covers all table with her books or papers, or... and you have to tolerate it for years! One Russian author once said that he loved the whole world but hated his roommate. Loving the entire world is much easier than loving that particular person! By the way, the Lord gives us the primary criterion to check if we have something in common with Christianity, and this criterion is how we love our neighbors, the people who life side by side with us: our family if we are lay people or our roommates and people we work with, if we are monastics... It is extremely painful to abandon our will before these people. Humility is impossible without this kind of obedience. These virtues are, in fact, one and the same thing for a monastic.

I understand that I do not understand anything.

Hieromonk Eustathius: This is what I am speaking about. Generally, I wish we had a chance to drink some tea together and have a friendly talk, not an interview. When I come to St Elisabeth Convent, all my friends - Fr Sergius, Matushka Larissa, Novice Dmitry - gather and spend time together. Last year when I was on a pilgrimage to the Holy Trinity-St Sergius Lavra, I met another of my friends - Novice Gennadius - and we spent a couple of hours in the monastery library where he is an assistant librarian just talking because we had not seen one another for a long time...

I am sorry for talking so much (laughs). I was very glad to talk with you.

Prayer Rope

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