The Catalog of Good Deeds

This article is aimed at people who believe in God but are always attempting to see some miracles in order to be sure that He exists. Some people are not impressed by stories of others who received God's help. As a rule, such people wish to see something that would make them believe in God's existence with their own eyes. Sometimes one has to hear, "Well, I have so many problems, I have poor health, little money, no perspective in life. I keep asking God for help but He doesn't help..."

However, sometimes when a person starts to complain about his life for no reason, God allows him to experience even more trouble, and you will know why if you read this article.

I came to Minsk three years ago. It was just the very beginning of the financial crisis but I had already been accustomed to living a modest life. Soon I saw that Minsk was a really expensive city with high accommodation costs and food prices. I shared a room with another girl where there were several icons, among which there were two big icons - one of Our Lady of Kazan and the other of St Nicholas the Wonderworker. I had read that it is not right to ask God for material goods, one should ask for help, wisdom and advice, and the Lord Himself knows what we need. When the ruble weakened and sent prices skyrocketing I began active search for additional work. This was no easy task because I was able to allocate for this work only weekends and evenings, and the recruitment agency told me that it was nearly impossible to find any job that would correspond to my requirements.

Every believer knows that there is nothing impossible for the Lord God. Once I heard the following phrase in a comedy show, “I never ask God for money, I ask Him to let me see that money does not mean happiness.” “Aptly said!” I thought. That evening I uttered these words at the end of my evening prayers for the first time, and then I repeated them the next morning and started to do so every day. Due to the fact that I prayed in front of the icon of Mother of God of Kazan, I addressed these supplications to Her. The Queen of Heaven heard my prayers: I found three jobs, one of which I was offered on November 4 - the commemoration day of the icon of Our Lady of Kazan. I had enough money - but lack of free time to spend it - in a month, so it was adding up. I must say I truly was happy: I was able to buy things I had never dreamt of, I could let myself call a taxi to and from work and started to forget the road to flea markets. Instead of saying thanks to the Lord, I told my friend who called to ask me why I was so busy that it was impossible for me to find time to go visit her, “I asked God to give me a chance to make sure that happiness does not lie with money. As a result, I found three well-paid jobs. However, He does not sound convincing about money because I am really happy. More than that, I have never been so happy in my life!”

Icon of our Lady of Kazan

I was speaking these words in the room where the Kazan icon of Mother of God stood. On finishing my phone call, I looked at it and said, “Who said that happiness does not lie with money? I have always known it was a lie!”

Someone will maybe condemn me of blasphemy but it is better to learn from the others’ mistakes, I believe. Someone will probably learn a good lesson from what I write here. Perhaps, Mother of God was angry with me for these words because the following morning I felt there was something strange with my eyes: they were burning and aching so I could not see anything. When I went out I understood that I would have a hard time going to work: I could not see the faces of the people or numbers of the buses. I was so frightened! As I made my way to work, I began to blame it all on lack of sleep and tiredness. Finally, I got to my work place but I had to stare right into the computer screen and I was still unable to do anything. I had to turn the PC off and ask for a couple of days off and go home to have a rest. Even the sleep pills I took did not help. After having slept day and night, I saw that my weariness was not the reason for this condition so the following day I visited an ophthalmologist (eye doctor) and told him about my complaints. He began to examine my eyesight but I said to him, “Doctor, do not waste your time, I just can’t see anything.”

- Nothing at all? - he asked in surprise.

- Well, I can see those biggest letters in the first line, and nothing more.

- How long have you had this condition?

- Since yesterday.

- Had there been anything strange before that moment?

- Nothing, I just went to bed and woke up - and I cannot see anything.

- Maybe you have sand or dust in your eyes?

- I did not walk out on that day because it was Sunday and I spent all day at home. Where could I get that sand from?

- See, it is impossible for the eyesight to become so poor in just one night, - he said.

I had nothing to answer. I saw that that doctor did not believe me and was thus unlikely to help.

In the end, he prescribed me some drugs and scheduled the next time I was to see him. In a few minutes, I found myself walking down the street trying to figure out what had happened. I saw a crowd gather near a currency exchange. Dollar had risen again but I did not care even though this had been an acute problem for me, like for many others. Suddenly, I saw people carry a coffin with a dead body out of a car and into a house. I envied that dead, and this made me even more terrified. On my way back home I entered the Holy Spirit Cathedral. It often happens that God is the last One who we remember. When drugs become useless, when doctors say they cannot determine the cause of the disease, when we hear that medical skill cannot fight it, we suddenly remember our Heavenly Healer whom we should have asked for help earlier. Our lack of faith and doubts grab us so strongly that we often forget about Him.

It was a weekday and noontime. No service was going on, just the candles flickering and people coming and going. It was dark in the church so it was even more difficult for me to see something. Of course, I knew where the sanctuary was but I could see motley flicker instead of the altar. I could not see the icons but because I often attend this church, I remembered where each of them was. I started to look around and... O Lord! I could not see the icons but there was one icon I could clearly see. It was the icon of Our Lady of Kazan. Despite being almost completely blind, I could clearly see the image of Mother of God in this darkness and at a long distance, moreover, I could see every single letter written on that icon. “Have you had this icon restored or bought a new one?” I asked one of the church warden. “No,” she answered, “This icon has long been here.” All of a sudden, it dawned on me that all this happened to me not because of stress or lack of sleep, and there was no sand in my eyes. It was God’s punishment. It all began after that conversation over the phone and my words in front of the icon of Mother of God. I had asked God to let me see that money does not bring happiness, and He did that. I had enough money but I was not happy anymore. I was willing to give away everything I had, or even more, in order to be able to see the light of God like before.

I knelt before the Queen of Heaven and sobbed. I could not control myself at that moment. People came to me asking what had happened. I was breathless from tears and I could not utter a single word. A group of foreigners entered the church (I could tell it from their speech). One of them approached me, took my hand and gave me something. When they were gone, I saw a 50-dollar note in my hand. I thought that the Lord did not want to accept my repentance and reminded me about my greed for money. I was terrified and I must say I had never been so scared in my life. I trembled and said, “Forgive me, O Lord!” and put this 50-dollar note into a box for donations.

The pain went away on that evening but I could not see clearly. When I woke up the following morning I realized that my eyesight returned. For me, this was a very special day. There was another reason for that: it was my birthday. When I went out, I could clearly see the skies, the rising sun and the melting snow. One can hardly have a better birthday present. This was the first time I thought how strange our perception of happiness sometimes is. We are looking for happiness in the remotest places but it is so close to us. Today I am able to see the sun, the skies, I can hear birds chirp, streams murmur and wind blow, whereas thousands of people are deprived of all this. Moreover, some of them are deprived of this since birth. There are rich and famous and talented people among them. Then I came to realize that health, and particularly eyesight, is the biggest treasure in our lives. It was the first time in my life when I thanked God for being able to witness a new day, to realize what real happiness consists of and to feel myself really happy.

Helena Gulidova

Interview with Nun Tabitha (Davidovich)

Tamara Davidovich dreamed of becoming a nun throughout her entire life. However, she did not take the vows until she retired, having endured many hardships and strengthened her faith. Her monastic name is Tabitha.

Mother Tabitha, there was a persecution of the Church when you were a child. Did you know anything about the Orthodox faith at that time?

There were thirteen kids in our family. I was the youngest one. When Dad returned home after the war where he had fought as a partisan, he was already very ill and did not live long. My mother was left alone. There were fewer of us at that time than before the war because some of the kids had died.

I went to school four kilometres from our village Sosny, Luban district, Minsk oblast. It was hard for me to study – I was unable to remember anything. They simply kept moving me from one grade to a higher one. My mother was a believer so she used to tell me that I should learn the Our Father, hoping that it would help me.

There was no church in our village. That was why I got baptised in Luban when I was nine.

I remember how my mother would prepare everything for Pascha on the Great Saturday: she would do the table and cook a festive meal; and she would not allow anyone to sleep during that night. We all would go to church on great feasts. Once we went to church on the Holy Trinity Day. My brother soon returned home in order to get ready for his work. I came to him and asked him to take me with him but he refused. I was standing outdoors and crying for a long time when I saw a cloud which sat right above our house. There was a thunderstorm that night. My brother hid under an oak tree that stood in the field. A flash of lightning struck him and he died.

When I was 18, I moved to Soligorsk where my sister lived, and then my friend and I came to Minsk in order to work as builders. Soon I enrolled to a course of telegraph operators. I was unable to learn anything at first. Almost everybody had already mastered that profession but I was still unable to do anything. Then I began asking God for help, and a miracle happened: I learned to type quickly and without looking at the keyboard. I spent six years working as a telegraph operator in the Staff of Air Force, and then twenty-seven years in the “Aeroflot”. That is what God’s blessing means.

When did you start attending church regularly?

I began to attend the Holy Spirit Cathedral. That was the time when my life started to change. For instance, I could no longer cut my hair in a trendy fashion and wear fancy hats. My colleagues noticed these changes and asked why I had changed so drastically. My husband and my children approved of my visiting the church. Certainly, I did my best putting everything in order at home so that I could go to church.

I would pass by a building under construction on my way to work. I did not know what kind of a building it would be but I felt deep inside my soul that it was going to be a church. It turned out to be the restoration of the church in honour of St Mary Magdalene. I was cleaning my house during the Holy Week but something was wrong. I went out of my flat and directed my steps to that church which had already been functioning. My soul brought me here. I started crying as soon as I entered this church because I recalled my sins. When I walked out of the church after the service, I stopped near a woman who was weaving a wreath of flowers. She asked me if I wanted to help her. I agreed and we went on to look for some green plants. Then my daughter and I started to attend the services at St Mary Magdalene Church.

Mother Tabitha, how should a Christian deal with hardships?

If one takes his cross and follows the Lord, this road is not going to be easy, it is a path of thorns. My path to God resembles iron in the hands of a blacksmith. My life was also filled with His mighty blows. There were moments when I felt proud or offended or unjustly treated...

When my husband died, I was overwhelmed with sorrow and asked my daughter and her husband to let me go and become a nun. They replied that I was spending days in church, what convent did I need after that? My daughter’s husband who is a priest even tried to discipline me, and this made me angry with him. I wanted to complain to someone about him. My spiritual father told me, “Why do you grudge against him? He is leading you into the Kingdom of Heaven...” This revelation dawned on me, it seemed like a fresh world outlook to me. I became more humble and patient; I started to trust the Lord more than earlier. I came to realise that if I had taken up my cross, I had to carry on. We may encounter difficulties at times. We should go through everything so that our souls would find peace.

Soon there came another blow: my daughter got severely ill, she was diagnosed with a blood tumour in the brain. It happened far from home, when she and her husband were in the Czech Republic. This was the day of the Dormition of the Mother of God. I was cleaning the church and all of a sudden I felt that something was about to happen. My son-in-law called me and asked me to pray because my daughter Helen was very ill and practically hopeless. Of course, I prayed and cried.

I went to church with my three-year-old grandson on that day. He ran away from me and hid behind a belfry, and he started running here and there as if he were playing catch-up with someone. Then he told me, “Here’s my mum.” I asked him, “What is she doing?” He answered that she was walking around. I was astonished. My daughter fell ill so far away but her soul was already here, and had no obstacles in doing so. How could I not believe in miracles after that?

Then my daughter was transported home, she lay still for a long time, and she was catered to round the clock. People prayed for her everywhere: in the Czech Republic, Italy, Minsk, in various churches and monasteries. It was not long before Christmas that I came to the church, approached an icon of the Mother of God and said, “O Mother of God, we keep praying for my daughter day and night but we do not know what is best for her salvation. May everything happen according to God’s will.” That night, my daughter passed away to the Lord God. She was 30.

There are few people who can retain a peaceful soul after such trials...

One cannot transform oneself in an instant. One needs prayer, confession, and communion in order to change his or her mental state. If we do not practice them, irritation and impatience accumulate. Some people are surprised why everything is so bad. In fact, it seems that nothing is predisposed to be bad but bad things still happen. One should be skillful enough to walk along the path given by God. If we do not go along this path, we will not find the peace for our souls. Moreover, we should feel what God sends us.

How did you finally manage to become a nun?

One morning I was woken by a woman wearing monastic clothes who was standing by the door and looking at me fixedly. I understood that I had to follow her. I got up and said, “Lord, where should I follow her?” Suddenly, the telephone rang, and it was the rector of our church in honor of St Mary Magdalene, Archpriest John Khoroshevich, who asked me to come to church. I came to the church. Father John took me by my hand and led me straight into the sanctuary. He blessed me to work in the sanctuary – in the Holy of Holies... In the meantime, Father John asked me if I did not mind becoming a monastic. I replied that I had had that desire for as long as I lived. Even when my children were small, I wanted to become a nun. Whenever I saw a film about a monastery on TV, I would cry – probably because my soul wanted to go there.

After this conversation with Fr John, I wrote a petition to Metropolitan Philaret. When His Eminence visited our church during our patron saint’s day, he asked me whether I was ready to be tonsured. Certainly, I was spellbound and gazed out of the window in silence. Father John said, “You used to say you were ready.” I turned to him and said, “Of course, I am. There can be no doubt about it.”

Nuns Hilaria and Tabitha came from St Elisabeth Convent in order to inform me about the procedure of monastic tonsure. Father John asked His Eminence to allow me to continue my obedience in St Mary Magdalene Church. His Eminence also blessed this.

I became a nun on November 6, 2010, and was assigned to St Elisabeth Convent.

Did you feel anything special after your tonsure? What have you learned in these three years of your monastic life?

First of all, I felt peace in my soul. As soon as I was tonsured, I felt love towards all people, I simply wanted to embrace them all. When I came to the Convent for my first meeting of the monastic sisters, they all looked so dear and nice for me. I try very hard to preserve this feeling for fear of losing God’s grace.

I have learned in these years that it is of utmost importance not to trespass your obedience. I cannot say that everything was fine from the start: there have been times when it was difficult for me to fulfil my duties. I see how busy all the sisters at the Convent are, and I have always wanted to help everyone. I was given the obedience to read the Psalter and to work in a church shop. I thought, “If only my leg was okay, I would have helped someone else, too!” My spiritual father saw my eagerness to help and said, “Stop. And do not grudge.”

Once I hurried to help the sisters who were sorting sorrel. As soon as I thought that I was in a hurry, I stumbled and broke my arm. No one called me to do that work, it was my own initiative and the result of my pride. The Lord humbled me down. He knows better where I should be and what I should do. If Father blesses me to do a certain kind of work, I should do my best to carry out this obedience.

Did you have to say no to certain worldly activities?

Sometimes I think that I used to do more good in the past, I had the zeal to do the deeds of mercy. Good works mean more for God than prayer. All people must know that.

Mother Tabitha, what would you advise the people who have only recently crossed the threshold of the Church?

Some newcomers are offended when someone elbows them in church, and this may even be the sole reason for their changing their parish. I wish people did not change their parishes because there may be other temptations in another place. Perhaps, it is God who wants them to go to this very church, and it is the devil who does not want it... Sometimes such people even quarrel with the “offenders”... This negative load keeps accumulating, and the person does not reform himself. It seems that as long as one does not go through sorrows, nothing good is going to happen. I believe that each person should take some time before going to bed in order to analyses how they spent the day, what they accomplished during that day, and ask the Lord to bless the next day, to make them capable of not sinning and not offending anyone.

The monastic life is very hard, and sometimes, perhaps, you need someone’s support. Who helps you to grow in faith?

Certainly, my spiritual father, Fr John, helps me. If I forget about one of my sins, the Father will point it out wisely. I praise the Lord for having such a spiritual father. His wife, Matushka Maria Khoroshevich, will always help me and support me in a minute of distress. I am grateful to her for her understanding and useful advice.

However, our main helper in faith is the Lord Himself. Once, on a patron feast’s day (August 4) – it was early in the morning and we were decorating the pathway in front of the church which was still closed – we heard male voices singing in the church. Other women also heard these voices. We all turned out heads in surprise because we knew that the church was empty. The heavenly hosts were also celebrating St Mary Magdalene Day, it seems.

Summer is sweet and blossoming and is a perfect time for weddings. We have prepared some information about the Sacrament of Matrimony for you to read and enjoy during these sunny days. You will learn what the Holy Fathers have to say about it, how you can prepare for it, and find answers to many family-related questions.

Holy Fathers on Marriage and Family

Icon of St John Chrysostom

"Where a husband, a wife and their children are united with the bonds of virtue, agreement, and love, there is Christ among them." St John Chrysostom

"It is a true treasure and great happiness when the husband and wife live in unity, being one flesh with one another. Even if they are poor and not noble, they can be happier than everybody else because they enjoy real happiness and are always at peace. Those who abide in such a family union are not disturbed by anything; nothing can interfere with their peaceful happiness. If the husband and wife are unanimous, peaceful, and united in love, all good comes to them. Evil slander doesn't hurt them because they are guarded by their unanimity in God, like a high wall... It multiplies their wealth and prosperity; it promotes them to the highest level of good honor; it attracts great God's benevolence." St John Chrysostom

"Father, what unites a husband and a wife most of all? — "Appreciation", I replied. One person loves the other for what that other gives him or her. The wife gives her husband trust, loyalty, and obedience. The husband gives his wife confidence and protection. The wife is the host of the house, and at the same time she is the main servant at the house. The husband is the sovereign ruler of the household but he carries its burdens, too." Elder Paisius of Mt Athos.

"He who lives in a family, will be saved thanks to family virtues." St Theophan the Recluse

"Because they are one flesh, (spouses) also have one soul and motivate one another to become more pious by mutual love. Family life does not alienate a person from God. On the contrary, it makes one more attached to him because that person has more instances when he needs God's help. A small ship moves forward by a soft wind; a big ship won't move at the light breath of air. Likewise, people who have few things to care about, need less help of the great God; however, a man who has to care for his beloved spouse, property, and children, travels across a vast sea of life, so he needs more help from God, and he in turn loves God more. Bound by marriage, we are hands and feet and ears of one another. Family life makes even a weak one two times stronger. Common cares make sorrows easier to bear, and common joys make both sides happier. Wealth is more pleasant if the husband and wife are unanimous; if they are poor, their unanimity is more pleasant than wealth. Bonds of marriage serve as a key to chastity and desires, a seal of vital attachment." St Gregory the Theologian

FAQ on Church Wedding and Family Life

How can I get ready for family life?

The Lord blesses people to be together, and the Church blesses their marriage through the Sacrament of Matrimony. You should be ready to bear the burdens of your partner. This effort to serve one's spouse, to sacrifice your apparent freedom, and to give everything up because you love that person, is huge. Nowadays people can hardly do it on their own: they need God's help. And God helps them. Seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you (cf. Matthew 7:7). We should pray that the Lord send us our second half.

What do I need to do in order to get married in church?

You should come to a church and talk with a priest. Generally, the life of a couple should be not too far from the life of the Church. The Church will help and bless your family through the Sacraments of Matrimony and Baptism of their children. It would be great if your family started going to church on a regular basis, because you will need God's help and blessing for the struggle to become a good family and to build good relationships in your family, i.e. being able to carry one another's burdens with humility and love.

Is it allowed to marry, if less than a year has passed since the death of my grandmother?

People should marry if they have decided to make their relationship legally binding and fully accept their obligations to one another. There are many people today who do not want to do it, who don't want their relationship to be binding, and hesitate to take this step because they give in to their egotism and lack of responsibility. Your grandmother will be happy to see that her grandchild has a wife under the law, and your relationship with your wife will be very different: you may even have children, God willing. So you won't be breaking any law if you marry; on the contrary, it is a great idea.

Is it important to get married in church if one of the spouses is a believer and the other isn't? Is a family who only had a civil ceremony guilty of fornication?

The Church accepts civil marriage as valid but it isn't consecrated yet. Today one of you is a believer while the other is not. Your task is to help your partner to turn to God so that you could consecrate your marriage in church and go on to build your home church. You will need lots of love, patience, humility, and fervent prayer - and the miracle will happen. If you coerce your partner to go and get married in church while he or she opposes it, the result may be devastating. You cannot make a person believe. He or she has to have a personal encounter with God, thanks to your prayer and love, by seeing your life. If it is important for you and you are a practising Orthodox Christian, this will incite you to begin praying seriously. Keep calm and work hard.

Can an Orthodox wife marry a Catholic husband?

Yes, she can, but she will need a blessing from the diocesan office. What will suffice for a wedding? Two hearts that want God to unite them forever. You will need to trust God and be ready to fight, to carry one another's burdens so as to fulfil the law of Christ. Naturally, you will have to help one another, support one another in difficult life situations, and not allow the sin to soil your family life.

Is keeping oneself chaste before wedding essential?

If possible, try to abstain from intimacy before marriage. Take care of your love and grow it and struggle for it. This is an immense task. Support one another, help one another, bear the burdens of your partner. You have to struggle to make your relationship pure and beautiful. May the Lord help you to create a good Christian family.

What should a married couple do during the Great Lent?

A person who starts an Orthodox family receives a blessing for this from God in the Holy Church, effectively becoming a warrior for Christ. We must help each other in the struggle against sin, in the fight for our love, which is a gift from God that we have to keep. What should a married couple do? They should help one another, serve one another and support one another. Of course, this is impossible without God's help. We go to church, confess, and take communion. During the Lent, we do it more often. We limit our requirements, we abandon the pleasures of this world so as to make sure our soul could grow and develop and become more mature. Everyone has their own measure of spiritual growth. We should start by looking at our neighbor and asking ourselves how we can help him, what we can do to support him in a difficult situation, and not by what we have heard or read.

What should I do if I no longer love my partner?

Love is a gift. There are several types of love: one that you fall into; one that is dominated by passion; and one out of habit, among others. You have come to God, you have found your road to the church; in fact, it is the Lord who is the source of love. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you (Matthew 7:7). Today you don't notice how beautiful your partner is, and you don't love him or her because, in general, that person does not love anyone, too. Everyone is beautiful. Look at your partner not as you usually do but trying to discover his or her real beauty. Ask God to help you to love this person. And maybe you will see a totally different person. Maybe, if you notice his or her inner depth, you will be able to perceive him or her in a different light. You have Someone to pray to, Someone who has come to save man, Someone who has come to teach us to love. You need to have a dialogue with your partner. You need to try to understand him: what he lives for and how he lives. You can find in everyone something to pity them for. You can accept your partner as he is. Your effort will certainly come to fruition. God's blessing of your marriage is extremely important, too: through the grace of the Holy Spirit, the Sacrament of Matrimony gives a new feeling, helps to see things differently and perceive the beauty that you will have to struggle for throughout your life. However, if we spare ourselves and keep dreaming about people who would love us with zeal and passion, these dreams will prevent us from living in today, from the real life; they will isolate us from the people who are around us.

It was Archpriest Andrew Lemeshonok, the spiritual father of St Elisabeth Convent, who kindly provided answers to your questions.

Summer is a wonderful season when many couples plan to get married. Please have a look at our Catalog where you can choose everything you may need for your wedding. Click here to learn more.