Q: I read that the sins that you name during your
confession will not be recorded by the Satan and will not be brought to light
after you die. Holy Fathers and some priests recommend to confess thoroughly
and precisely. You and some other priests recommend to confess only roots of
sins. My question is: If I confess only the roots of my sins, will certain
instances of my sinful actions, words, thoughts and feelings be remembered in
the afterlife?
A: Repentance is the mystery of God and human
being working together to change the life of that human being. It’s a creative
process. Repentance makes one acknowledge his wickedness and inability to fight
that wickedness. The individual is inclined to change himself but knows for a
fact that he cannot do so using his own power. At that point, he asks for God’s
help. Practically speaking, if I repent of drinking, for instance, I have to be
adamant in my willingness to quit, and do everything I can to quit, and ask God
to help me quit drinking. Saint Mary of Egypt gives a good example of proper
repentance. She went into the desert and quit drinking. She spent seventeen
years in the wilderness struggling with thoughts about wine and drinking. She
yielded fruit of repentance and achieved not only liberation from her sinful
passions but also the heights of holiness with God’s help. However, she did not
confess her sins to a priest. She told Zosimas about her life just one year
prior to her death, and she didn’t mention all details, she did not confess in
church, and there were no special rituals.
Confession is a church ritual that corroborates
one’s personal repentance. This ritual can be void. If I believe that it’s
enough just to name my sins and make a list of them on a paper sheet, the
Sacrament isn’t going to take place (and neither will forgiveness be granted).
You can cough out the list of your sins without the penitential feeling, and it
will be totally useless or even harmful, if you mistakenly believe that all
your sins are forgiven just because you mentioned them by name.
The practice of “detailed confession” is not about
repentance. It’s about the monastic practice of disclosing one’s thoughts and
seeking spiritual guidance. A novice or a monk comes to his elder daily and
discloses all his thoughts in the tiniest detail, and tells him about all
events that happened during the day. The wise elder gives him advice on how to
improve his spiritual standing and how to fight sins. The spiritual father is
like a doctor who analyses his disciple’s symptoms, prescribes the right
remedies, and supervises the process of recovery. This kind of communication
takes up an awful lot of time, which is impossible to accomplish in a parish
setting. First off, not every priest can be a spiritual father. A
newly-ordained 25-year-old dude won’t be able to give you a sound advice. He
hasn’t defeated his own sins yet, so he doesn’t know how to treat yours.
Secondly, if you start spending two hours with a priest every day, the priest
won’t have the time to listen to other parishioners and to pay attention to his
own family. Your husband will also most likely be suspicious. Finally, if you
just imagine that everyone who wants to confess talks with a priest for just
ten minutes (not two hours) on Saturday night (not every day), listening to 20
confessors will take up 200 minutes, or three and a half hours. If the
confession happens during the All-Night Vigil, when is the priest going to
serve? If the confession starts after the Vigil, at what hour will you get home—especially
if you bear in mind that you’ve got to attend the Liturgy the next day! Of
course, if the priest has enough time to listen to you and give you his advice,
you should seize this opportunity but be aware of what I’ve said.
It seems to me that the priests who demand a
detailed report from their female parishioners are either too curious of the
female parishioners’ private lives (believe me, they don’t haunt men with so
many questions during the confession) or they have an exaggerated opinion of
their counseling skills, or they simply don’t understand the essence of what
they do and try to copy what they’ve read in some old books. With that said, I
can be completely wrong. I’ve tried to explain my take on it. You can ask other
priests to give their opinion on the question that you’ve asked, and then you’ll
be able to decide which answer is the most suitable and useful for your
spiritual well-being.
Q: There must be a reason why Holy Fathers
recommend naming sins clearly so as to be ashamed of them. Why do you think
they recommend it?
A: This is meant to help a person to struggle with
his sins. If you’re ashamed, the feeling of shame will help you to stop and not
repeat the sin the next time. So yes, you should name some sins in plain terms,
especially if you’re ashamed of them. But please don’t describe them in detail!
First of all, take pity on the priest. Sadly, his profession makes him a trench
latrine for everyone to dispose of their filth. But I don’t think you should
overuse it. Hope you understand. Moreover, if you struggle with a certain
passion, detailed memories of your feelings, sensations, emotions, and actions
related to that passion will likely cause an upheaval in your soul, which is
already sick, isn’t it? You should act wisely.
Translated by The Catalog of Good Deeds
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