Pt. 4, Ch.1. Spiritual Life in the Family
Children
and the spiritual life
— Geronta, if a
mother gives holy water to her child and he spits it out, what should she do?
— She should pray for her child. Maybe the way in
which she gives the holy water to her child causes a reaction. For the child to
be on the path of God the parents must also live right spiritually. Some
parents who are religious strive to help their children to become good, not
because they are concerned for the salvation of their souls, but because they
what to have good children. In other words, they are more worried about what
people will say about their child instead of whether they might go to hell. So
how can God help? The aim is not for children to go to church through
compulsion, but to love the church; not to do good through compulsion, but to
feel the need to do good. The holy lives of parents instruct the souls of their
children and they naturally follow. In this way they grow up piously, with
health of both soul and body and without spiritual injuries. If parents force
their children out of fear of God, He helps and the child is benefited. If,
however, they do it out of egoism, then God does not help. Children are often
troubled because of their parent’s pride.
— Geronta, some
mothers ask us what prayer should a child of three or four years old do?
— You should tell them: “You are the mother; see how
much your child can handle.” They shouldn’t give them a rule.
— Geronta, what
if the little children get tired when their parents bring them here for vigils?
— During Orthros they should let them out a little to
relax, and during Divine Liturgy bring them back into the church.
Without forcing their children mothers must teach them
to pray. Villagers in Cappadocia intensely lived the ascetic tradition. They
would take their children to hermitages, do prostrations and pray with tears,
and in this way, the children learned how to pray. Chetes would sometimes go by
night to rob them; and when passing the chapels they would hear crying and stop
in surprise. “OK, what’s going on?” they would say. “During the day they are
all smiles and at night they cry?” They couldn’t understand what was going on.
Miracles happen through the prayers of small children.
Whatever they ask of God He gives them because they are guileless and He hears
their pure prayer. I remember one time our parents had gone out into the field
and had left me in the house with my two younger siblings. The sky suddenly
darkened and a torrential rainstorm began. “What will our parents do now?,” we
said. “How will they get back home?” The two little ones began crying. “Come
here,” I told them, “we will ask Christ to stop the rain.” The three of us
knelt down before the family’s icons and prayed. In just a few minutes the rain
stopped.
Parents must use discernment to help their children
draw near to Christ from their early years, and from their childhood to live
the joy on high—spiritual joy. When they start school they should learn, little
by little, to read spiritual books to help themselves live spiritually. In this
way they will become little angels, and their prayers will have greater
boldness before God. Such children are spiritual heads of the home. The lives
of saints especially help small children in their spiritual lives. As a small
boy I found a little book of the lives of saints which they had back in those
days. I went out into the forest to read and pray. I was flying with joy. From
the age of ten to sixteen, when the Greek-Italian war began, I lived the
spiritual life without restraint. Childhood joys are pure; they leave an
imprint on a person that greatly affects him when he grows up. If children live
spiritually they will live joyfully in this life, and in the next they will
rejoice eternally with Christ.
Temptations
on feast days
— Geronta, why
do temptations often occur on feast days?
— Don’t you know? On feast days, Christ, the Panagia,
and the Saints are joyful. They treat people, giving blessings and spiritual
gifts. If parents give gifts when their children celebrate their namedays and
kings release prisoners when a prince is born, why shouldn’t the Saints care
for us on special occasions, too? Certainly the joy they give greatly endures
and our souls are greatly helped. Knowing this the devil creates temptations in
order to deprive people of the Divine gifts: they neither rejoice nor benefit
from the feast. Sometimes you even see when a family is preparing to commune on
a feast day, that the devil will send them a temptation to fight and then not
only do they not commune, but they don’t even go to church! That’s how the
little demon does it, so as to be deprived of all Divine help.
CONVERSATION