The Catalog of Good Deeds

I‘m thankful for many things in my life - my wife, my family, my friends, health, food, shelter, clothing, the freedom to worship freely in our country. Is it silly to say I‘m thankful for love? A little abstract, sure, but it‘s true. I‘m thankful for the fact that I have ended up with THE right girl. I am thankful when I see friends of mine find someone right for them, date, and get married.

What is Love?

Is there any word in the English language that is thrown around as much as “love”? How about in any other language, for that matter? We hear the word “love” everywhere. Is there any song on the radio these days that is not about this word? How often do we see this topic in popular culture? How many clothing lines, backpacks, school supplies, you name it- have hearts on them or other love-themed pictures? We hear people using this word often in public, when saying something like “Oh, I love that!” or, “I’m in love.” Certainly, everyone seems to know what love is, and I’m pretty sure everyone has an idea of what it means to be “in love.” But truly, despite how often we hear this word, do we really know what love is?

I think it’s safe to say that we love something when it has a lot of meaning for us, or when we really, really, enjoy something – a good restaurant, a movie we really enjoyed, maybe a song, a piece of jewelry, or anything else, we say that we “love” it. What about a person? We all love our parents, relatives and friends we meet in our lives, which is definitely a kind of love. What about a special someone in our life? One day we find ourselves in the presence of someone we find attractive, someone we’d like to get to know more about and be around. We find that we have butterflies in our stomach when we see them, we want to know more about them, and more than anything we really want them to like us back. When this happens, we say that we “have a crush” on this person, or we “like” this person, or we’re “in love with” this person. Here is where our question comes in…

There’s no doubt that love, to a degree, is an emotional response. Those butterflies in our stomach are our blood rushing and hormones getting amped up. But why does this reaction happen? Is it just because we find the person physically attractive? Is it simply because we’re infatuated with them? That’s probably part of it, but not all of it. Someone’s personality plays a part, doesn’t it? Even if a person is very attractive, are we just as inclined to want to be in a relationship with them if that person is mean and acts like a jerk? We probably don’t have the same feelings for them after that, do we?

The truth is that romantic love is just as much a spiritual response as it is a physical one. When we find that we are “in love with” someone, part of it is because our soul wants to have a special relationship with that person. Something about that person’s soul connects with us. Have you heard a story of someone meeting their future spouse, and they knew right away they wanted to marry them? I felt this happen to me, and I am convinced it is a reaction of a person’s soul. As I heard a dear priest once say to me, it’s “two hearts speaking to one another.”

Think about this: God is love (1 John 4:8), and therefore whatever true love we feel has been created by God. God wants to have a special relationship with each of us, and we, too, since we’ve been created in His image and likeness, feel this as well- someone’s heart connecting with ours. Physical attraction is healthy, since God has given us these feelings as well. If we are to have a healthy relationship, however, even a “healthy crush,” physical attraction cannot be the only attraction we feel, and we should not be duped by pop culture into thinking it is. So what is love? “Love” is an emotional reaction, yes, and something physical, but it is also very much a function of our soul, something we truly realize in our faith in Jesus Christ who loves each of us. With this in mind, we can be guided to a healthy idea of love, and who we are “in love with.”

Now what about dating…?

More than Friends

I‘m thankful for many things in my life- my wife, my family, my friends, health, food, shelter, clothing, the freedom to worship freely in our country. Is it silly to say I‘m thankful for love? A little abstract, sure, but it‘s true. I‘m thankful for the fact that I have ended up with THE right girl. I am thankful when I see friends of mine find someone right for them, date, and get married.

Relationships are certainly one of the most interesting aspects of our life on earth, and healthy relationships can truly be one of the greatest gifts God gives us. November is a month where we reflect on what we are thankful for, and this is certainly something I feel I should thank God for daily.

Last month, I shared some thoughts on what love is, from a Christian perspective- about meeting someone, being attracted to them (and that butterflies-in-the-stomach thing). This month, I want to discuss what is commonly the “next step” following the initial attraction- going out with someone.

It usually goes something like this: you find someone attractive, you want to spend time with them, and if they say yes, the two of you go to dinner, or a movie, or to do something fun with a group of friends. Hopefully along the way, you enjoy your date, and either ask if you want to have another date, or go your separate ways because your personalities just weren‘t clicking. So is this what makes two people “boyfriend/girlfriend?” I think it takes a little more than just going out somewhere, right? Obviously, it‘s not a simple answer, because it‘s not a simple subject. But there are a few simple thoughts I have about dating that might be beneficial to keep in mind.

Going on dates with one person on a regular basis, or being a “boyfriend” or a “girlfriend,” means that you spend time together in order to learn a little more about yourself, and what kind of person you gel with. There are unique qualities about ourselves that we only begin to understand in a relationship with the opposite sex- and I‘m not referring to physical relations, but spending time and even just conversing with the other person. Dating gives us a unique opportunity to find out just how generous or selfish, patient or impatient, kind or mean-spirited we really are, not what we think we are. Dating gives us a right to learn more about ourselves, about guys and girls, about people. It gives us a right to enjoy life from a new perspective. However, like any relationship, there are ways that we can take advantage of and even abuse these rights.

Like any relationship, we should go into dating remembering of course, the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (Luke 6:31, Matthew 7:12) If we go into any relationship asking ourselves “What can I do for this person?” rather than “What can I get from this person?” your relationship will go well, and you will grow as a person. More important that anything else, though, we have to remember that we fully understand a person‘s heart, and true love, when we look at the other person as a child of the Most High, a child of God (Psalm 82:6). God has created each of us in His image, which means each of us is special. God loves that person, and we have to try our best to love them the same way He does. When we stop trying to love is when the other person becomes a mere object, and we cease respecting them, and possibly even hurting them deeply. When we acknowledge this, and keep Christ at the center of a dating relationship, or any relationship, we too will be thanking God for this beautiful gift of love He has given us.

A Holy Gift

I’ll admit I’m a huge baseball fan, but I never understood what bases had to do with dating. People refer to first, second, etc when it comes to dating, and I guess the further you go with someone physically, the further you go along the bases, right? It seems there are a lot of messages floating around in our society about relationships, specifically about physical relationships- how far you’re allowed to go, how everything’s okay as long as both people consent, how it’s okay as long as it doesn’t affect your happiness, etc. When a person hears these kinds of messages, you almost say to yourself, “Yeah, I know that the Church teaches to wait until marriage to have sex, but is that even realistic today? Does anyone even do that?”

Two months ago, I shared that true romantic love is just as much a function of the soul as of the body, and some thoughts about what our understanding of love should be. Last month I shared some thoughts about the next step, dating, and how any romantic relationship is fulfilled when it is centered around God and our being selfless, not selfish. This month, I’d like to share some thoughts about another dimension of relationships- physical relations- and to seriously look at this question, because it is something we’re faced with today, and not just in high school. Given the fact that messages about physical relations are thrown around today in TV, movies, music, billboards, everywhere, I feel it’s important that we bring an awareness to our Church’s message about this topic, and ask ourselves, Is this even possible anymore?

First, I would ask the following - Have you ever dated someone, not done anything physical with them, and then stopped seeing them after things didn’t work out? How hard is it to stop seeing that person? Now consider how hard it is to stop seeing someone you have done something physical with, even just kissed? It is much harder to stop seeing someone who you have done something physical with, because physical relations create an even deeper connection between two people. It’s true, and yet we barely ever consider it. When your love- not lust- grows for someone romantically, you want to share something with the person beyond just a hello or a hug. This is something very natural and human that God has given us. And yet, God knows that physical relations between a man and a woman do bring them closer together, and He wants us to experience this in a safe, healthy way, and not get hurt.

If you have sex with someone, or do anything physical with someone, and later that person decides they don’t want to see you anymore, it is very, very hurtful. On the other hand, if two people share physical intimacy within the context of a married relationship, there is safety, security, and commitment there that allows that love to be fulfilled- especially if two people in a marriage do their best to emulate Christ’s love in their love for one another. In other words, God wants you to guard your heart. God has given us something tremendously special, a holy gift, and He doesn’t want us to emotionally burn ourselves out, or disrespect our bodies by treating sex as if it weren’t a blessing. It is not about how many “bases” someone gets to. It’s not about “getting with someone.” If you allow God to guide your relationship with someone- your body and your soul- and you wait until marriage to have sex, you will experience a healthy relationship and God won’t let you down. Dating is a time to just focus on getting to know more about yourself and about what kind of person you gel with, and God willing, who you ultimately will marry.

“Bless Them, O Lord”

“Everlasting God, those who were divided You brought into oneness, setting for them an unbreakable bond of love; You blessed Isaac and Rebecca and made them heirs to Your promise. Bless these Your servants, guiding them into every good work.”

About a month ago I had the rare pleasure of going to a movie with my wife and two other friends of ours. I‟ll just come out and say it- the movie was “New Moon” (the sequel to the ultra-popular “Twilight” movie and book series, in case you’ve been living under a rock the last year). There, I said it. Even though I can also say that it was definitely not tailored towards my target audience, I am still amazed at how popular this movie is with female fans of all ages (not just high school, as it turns out), and how this series is capturing American teenagers imaginations. The biggest reaction from these teenagers, though, was at the end of the movie (****stop reading here if you don’t want to know what happens****) when Edward says to Bella, “Marry me, Bella.” Like any successful teenage romance movie, love is the central theme of the movie, and much to the delight of everyone in the theatre, the perfect “happy ending” of many movies is mentioned at the end of this movie- marriage.

People love weddings. We love seeing two friends or family members tie the knot. We love seeing two characters that we’re attached to in a book, movie, TV show, song, etc, get married when they fall in love with each other. In every culture, in every country, in every time period, few events are more joyful than a wedding. The same held true for Jesus’ time, when His first miracle was turning the water into wine at the wedding of Cana, (John 2) which once again affirmed the holiness of marriage in God’s eyes. The same is true in our time and in our faith today. It is a celebration of life and love. Marriage, in its purest form, is two people committing their lives to one another, before God, and allowing God to sanctify them and guide them through life- joy, sorrow and everything in between- to the Kingdom of God.

The sacrament of marriage is where love between two people finds its richest fulfillment in this life. I’ve shared some thoughts these last few months about love, dating, and physical relationships, and the underlying theme I hope I’ve conveyed is that in all of these, God needs to be the central focus. In Jesus Christ, Who is God, and Who is love, our love for another person is strengthened and made full. Even though we don’t hear this message too often these days, I would urge all of us who are not yet married to focus ourselves on this beautiful sacrament. Allow God to guide you in His love to the right person He knows is best for you, even if it is a few years down the road. By doing so, you won’t have to worry about feeling loved or feeling valued, because you will know you are. If we allow God to guide us to that right person, and center our relationship around Him, we will have that “unbreakable bond of love” in our life with our spouse.

During that time, you’ll probably have to go to a movie you don’t want to see at some point, too, but hey, no one said it was going to be easy.

But it will be blessed.

By Fr. Niko Bekris

Source: http://www.pravmir.com/on-love-dating-and-relationships/

The Podvig of the Apostles’ Fast is less strict than during Great Lent: We abstain from eating meat and dairy products throughout the Fast.

The Church ustav also provides that, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays during the Apostles’ Fast, we abstain from consuming fish, wine and oil; on the other days of the week, Tuesday and Thursday, we abstain from eating fish. Eating fish is permitted on Saturdays and Sundays, on days commemorating certain great Saints, and on the Feast of the Nativity of St. John the Baptist (7 July).

St. Seraphim of Sarov on Fasting

Fasting consists not just of eating rarely, but also of eating little. And not just in eating only one meal, but in not eating much. Foolish is the faster, who waits for a specific time [to eat a meal], but then at the time of the meal is completely consumed, body and mind, with insatiable eating.

In proportion to how the body of the faster becomes thin and light, so the spiritual life attains perfection and reveals itself in wonderful ways. Then the soul acts as if in an incorporeal body. Carnal feelings are shut off, and the spirit, released from the world, ascends to heaven and completely immerses itself in contemplation of the spiritual world.

Every day one should partake of just enough food to permit the body, being fortified, to be a friend and helper to the soul in performing the virtues. Otherwise, with the body exhausted, the soul may also weaken.

Holy Hierarch Basil the Great

Do you fast? Then feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, visit the sick, do not forget the imprisoned, have pity on the tortured, comfort those who grieve and who weep, be merciful, humble, kind, calm, patient, sympathetic, forgiving, reverent, truthful and pious, so that God might accept your fasting and might plentifully grant you the fruits of repentance.

***

It is necessary most of all for one who is fasting to curb anger, to accustom himself to meekness and condescension, to have a contrite heart, to repulse impure thoughts and desires, to examine his conscience, to put his mind to the test and to verify what good has been done by us in this or any other week, and which deficiency we have corrected in ourself in the present week. This is true fasting.

***

As bodily food fattens the body, so fasting strengthens the soul; imparting it an easy flight, it makes it able to ascend on high, to contemplate lofty things and to put the heavenly higher than the pleasant and pleasurable things of life.

***

The point is not only that we should come to church each day, that we should continually listen to one and the same thing, and that we should fast for the whole Forty Days. No! If we, from continually coming here and listening to the teaching, do not acquire anything and do not derive any good for our soul from the time of the fast all this does not procure for us any benefit, but rather serves for our greater condemnation, when despite such concern for us by the Church we remain just the same as before.

Do not say to me that I fasted for so many days, that I did not eat this or that, that I did not drink wine, that I endured want; but show me if thou from an angry man hast become gentle, if thou from a cruel man hast become benevolent. If thou art filled with anger, why oppress thy flesh? If hatred and avarice are within thee, of what benefit is it that thou drinkest water? Do not show forth a useless fast: for fasting alone does not ascend to heaven.

***

Fasting is wonderful, because it tramples our sins like a dirty weed, while it cultivates and raises truth like a flower.

Holy Hierarch John Chrysostom

Whosoever rejects the fasts, deprives himself and others of weapons against his own much-suffering flesh and against the devil, who have power over us especially as the result of our intemperance.

***

We are told: It is no big deal to eat non-Lenten food during Lent. It is no big deal if you wear expensive beautiful outfits, go to the theater, to parties, to masquerade balls, use beautiful expensive china, furniture, expensive carriages and dashing steeds, amass and hoard things, etc. Yet what is it that turns our heart away from God, away from the Fountain of Life? Because of what do we lose eternal life? Is it not because of gluttony, of expensive clothing like that of the rich man of the Gospel story, is it not because of theaters and masquerades? What turns us hard-hearted toward the poor and even toward our relatives? Is it not our passion for sweets, for satisfying the belly in general, for clothing, for expensive dishes, furniture, carriages, for money and other things? Is it possible to serve God and mammon, to be a friend to the world and a friend to God, to serve Christ and Belial? That is impossible.

Why did Adam and Eve lose paradise, why did they fall into sin and death? Was it not because of one evil? Let us attentively consider why we do not care about the salvation of our soul, which cost the Son of God so dearly. Why do we compound sin upon sin, fall endlessly into opposing to God, into a life of vanity? Is it not because of a passion for earthly things and especially for earthly pleasures? What makes our hearts become crude? Why do we become flesh and not spirit, perverting our moral nature? Is it not because of a passion for food, drink, and other earthly comforts? How after this can one say that it does not matter whether you eat non-Lenten food during Lent? The fact that we talk this way is in fact pride, idle thought, disobedience, refusal to submit to God, and separation from Him.

Holy Righteous John of Kronstadt

The greatest of the virtues is prayer, while their foundation is fasting.

***

The reason that fasting has an effect on the spirits of evil rests in its powerful effect on our own spirit. A body subdued by fasting brings the human spirit freedom, strength, sobriety, purity, and keen discernment.

Holy Hierarch Ignaty Brianchaninov

If thou, O man, dost not forgive everyone who has sinned against thee, then do not trouble thyself with fasting. If thou dost not forgive the debt of thy brother, with whom thou art angry for some reason, then thou dost fast in vain God will not accept thee. Fasting will not help thee, until thou wilt become accomplished in love and in the hope of faith. Whoever fasts and becomes angry, and harbors enmity in his heart, such a one hates God and salvation is far from him.

Venerable Ephraim the Syrian

A excellent faster is he who restrains himself from every impurity, who imposes abstinence on his tongue and restrains it from idle talk, foul language, slander, condemnation, flattery and all manner of evilspeaking, who abstains from anger, rage, malice and vengeance and withdraws from every evil.

***

Let thy mind fast from vain thoughts; let thy memory fast from remembering evil; let thy will fast from evil desire; let thine eyes fast from bad sights: turn away thine eyes that thou mayest not see vanity; let thine ears fast from vile songs and slanderous whispers; let thy tongue fast from slander, condemnation, blasphemy, falsehood, deception, foul language and every idle and rotten word; let thy hands fast from killing and from stealing another’s goods; let thy legs fast from going to evil deeds: Turn away from evil, and do good.

Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk

Seest thou what fasting does: it heals illnesses, drives out demons, removes wicked thoughts, makes the heart pure. If someone has even been seized by an impure spirit, let him know that this kind, according to the word of the Lord, “goeth not out but by prayer and fasting” (Matthew 17:21).

Saint Athanasius the Great

The strictness of the Quadragesima [the Forty Days] mortifies the passions, extinguishes anger and rage, cools and calms every agitation springing up from gluttony. And just as in the summer, when the burning heat of the sun spreads over the earth, the northern wind renders a benefaction to those who are scorched, by dispersing the sultriness with a tender coolness: so fasting also provides the same, by driving out of bodies the burning which is the result of overeating.

Saint Asterius of Amasia

Fasting is the mother of health; the friend of chastity; the partner of humblemindedness (illnesses are frequently born in many from a disorderly and irregular diet).

Venerable Simeon, the New Theologian

Give the body as much food as it needs, and thou shalt receive no harm, even if thou shouldest eat three times a day. If a man eats but once a day, but undiscerningly, what benefit is there to him from that. The warfare of fornication follows excess in eating – and after this the enemy weighs down the body with sleep in order to defile it.

Saints Barsanuphius and John

As a flame of fire in dry wood, so too is a body with a full belly.

Venerable Isaac the Syrian

Always establish one and the same hour for taking food, and take it for fortifying the body and not for enjoyment.

Venerable Anthony the Great

Do not neglect the Forty Days; it constitutes an imitation of Christ’s way of life.

Saint Ignatius the Godbearer

The holy fasters did not approach strict fasting suddenly, but little by little they became capable of being satisfied by the most meagre food. Despite all this they did not know weakness, but were always hale and ready for action. Among them sickness was rare, and their life was extraordinarily lengthy.

To the extent that the flesh of the faster becomes thin and light, spiritual life arrives at perfection and reveals itself through wondrous manifestations, and the spirit performs its actions as if in a bodiless body. External feelings are shut off, and the mind that renounces the earth is raised up to heaven and is wholly immersed in the contemplation of the spiritual world.

Source: http://stillwaterorthodox.org/2017/06/fast-holy-apostles-peter-paul/

Our father among the saints, Vukašin Mandrapa of Klepci, was a Serbian Orthodox Christian from Herzegovina who was martyred by fascists during World War II for refusing to acknowledge the local nazi leader Ante Pavelic.

Little is known about the life of Saint Vukasin. What is known about him is from the event resulting in his martyrdom, revealed in 1946. Vukasin was born in the village of Klepci, in Herzegovina, at the turn of the twentieth century. At the beginning of World War II, members of the Croatian fascist Ustašas arrested him and transported him, together with other Serbs of that region, into the notorious concentration camp of Jasenovac (the number of victims at this camp have been estimated between 80,000 and 800,000). During the reign of Ante Pavelic in Croatia (1941-5), Ustašas put up a death camp near the town Jasenovac, Croatia. It was practically the mirror-image of Auschwitz, Treblinka etc., except for the fact that a large number of victims were ethnic Serbs. The extermination with Zyklon B was employed at the later stage. Nevertheless, Jasenovac was one of the most cruel death-camps ever, ravaged by random terror, tortures and mass slayings.

Wikipedia relates the following: On the night of 29 August 1942, prison guards made bets among themselves as to who could slaughter the largest number of inmates. One of the guards, Petar Brzica, boasted that he had cut the throats of about 1,360 new arrivals. Other participants who confessed to participating in the bet included Ante Zrinušić, who killed some 600 inmates, and Mile Friganović, who gave a detailed and consistent report of the incident. Friganović admitted to having killed some 1,100 inmates. He specifically recounted his torture of an old man named Vukasin; he attempted to compel the man to bless Ante Pavelić, which the old man refused to do, even after Friganović had cut off his ears, nose and tongue after each refusal. Ultimately, he cut out the old man’s eyes, tore out his heart, and slashed his throat. This incident was witnessed by Dr. Nikola Nikolić.

Below is the story from the perspective of above mentioned guard Mile Friganović, during his later testimony on court (as stated by Wikipedia):

Franciscan Pero Brzica, Ante Zrinusic, Sipka and I waged a bet on who would slaughter more prisoners that night. The killing started and already after an hour I slaughtered much more than they did. […] And already after a few hours I slaughtered 1,100 people, while the others only managed to kill 300 to 400 each. […] I noticed an elderly peasant standing and peacefully and calmly watching me slaughter my victims and them dying in the greatest pain. That look of his shook me: in the midst of the greatest ecstasy I suddenly froze and for some time couldn’t make a single move. And then I walked up to him and found out that he was some Vukasin [Mandrapa] from the village of Klepci near Capljina whose whole family had been killed, and who was sent to Jasenovac after having worked in the forests. He spoke this with incomprehensible peace which affected me more than the terrible cries around us. All at once I felt the wish to disrupt his peace with the most brutal torturing and, through his suffering, to restore my ecstasy and continue to enjoy the inflicting of pain.

In his personal confession to physician Nedo Zets, Friganović revealed the details he remembered of Vukašin’s death, which finally drove him to an unbearable feeling of guilt and consequently to madness.

Old Vukasin, by his conduct and the words he put to his executioner, gave a brilliant example of a Christian sacrifice, making him a symbol of overall Serbian suffering in Jasenovac and a Holy Martyr of the Orthodox Church.

At the regular session of the Holy Assembly of Bishops of the Serbian Orthodox Church in 1998, Vukašin Mandrapa, from the Klepci village, was entered into the List of Names of the Serbian Orthodox Church as a martyr. His feast day is May 16.

Source: http://pemptousia.com/2014/05/new-martyr-vukasin-of-klepci/

The Surety of Sinners (Споручница грешных) Icon of the Theotokos is a Russian image which was revealed as wonder-working during the middle of the 19th century. It gets it name from the inscription found on the icon:

“I am the Surety of sinners for My Son Who has entrusted me to hear them, and those who bring me the joy of hearing them will receive eternal joy through me.”

The word Sporuchnitsa (Споручница), translated as “surety”, can also be translated as “pledge” or even as “intercession”. The pledge is not only shown in the inscription but also in the way Jesus Christ holds His mother’s hand, a sign of one giving a pledge for the other.

The origins of the icon are unclear, but the style of the icon (both Mother and Child are crowned; 12 stars around the Theotokos) suggest either the Ukraine or Belarus, both places where Western religious art influenced iconographers. Despite this, the basis for the icon is in a much more ancient source, the Akathist to the Protection of the Theotokos, in which there is the line: “Rejoice, You Who offer Your hands in surety for us to God.”

This icon was first glorified by miracles in 1848 at the St Nicholas Odrino men’s monastery. The icon was in an old chapel beyond the monastery gates, and stood between two other ancient icons. Because it was so faded and covered with dust, it was impossible to read the inscription. It was revealed to many of the people in dreams that the icon was endowed with miraculous power. They solemnly brought the icon into the church. Believers began to flock to it to pray for the healing of their sorrows and sicknesses. The first to receive healing was a crippled child, whose mother, wife of a merchant named Pochepyn, prayed fervently before the icon in 1844. The icon was glorified during a cholera epidemic, when many people fell deathly ill, and were restored to health after praying before the icon.

With the revelation of the icon as wonderworking, many copies of the Surety of Sinners were made, some of which themselves were glorified by God with miracles. As well as the Odrino monastery, there are miracle-working icons in Moscow and Robensk.

Source: https://iconreader.wordpress.com/2011/03/19/surety-of-sinners-icon/

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The Festive Service on Pentecost at St. Elisabeth Convent (2018)

Parable of the Day: Regarding Unmarried Couples Living Together

On Love, Dating and Relationships

The Teachings of the Holy Fathers on the Apostles’ Fast

A Short Life Story of New Martyr Vukasin of Klepci

Iconographic Analysis: Surety of Sinners

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