A Fragment of a Meeting of the Sisterhood: What is Eternal Memory Like?
Nun Juliania (Denisova): Many
people who had been close to our Convent reposed in the Lord recently. It has
got me thinking about eternal memory. When I explore my mother's archives
containing photos from our childhood years, my father's documents, and much
more, I have to deal with the fact that my children don't care about those
things and don't need them as much as I do. I was surprised that young people
today are so computer-oriented that they do not require physical memory, they
have "all in their computer".
My father
died over twenty years ago. I did not have enough time to ask him about his
life and about our ancestors. I want it so badly now but I don't have anyone to
answer my questions…
I keep
telling my children, "Remember your ancestors so that your children and
grandchildren could know who they were." Unfortunately, they dismiss it,
saying "We remember all things. We have the internet, where all our memory
is stored."
It got me
thinking: is this computer-based way of making sense of things tantamount to
eternal memory? Do we really need tangible physical memory about the deceased
or does prayerful memory suffice? For instance, if you pay $500 for the
so-called eternal commemoration, can you be relieved that they will always pray
for you?
Alternatively,
when you mourn every day for your loss, does it count as eternal memory? It
doesn't matter if you pray for that person or not: most importantly, you
remember him. When you look at the things that your loved one left behind or at
his photos, does it count? Does eternal memory exist regardless of our actions,
in God's domain?
Archpriest Andrew Lemeshonok: When you
live a Liturgy-driven life, it is hard to tell who is dead and who is alive. We
are trying to talk about eternity. We try to overcome human-ness. Christianity
means that a person begins to measure his life with a different measure. My
parents and your mother are among those who we pray for. We must be talking
about whether their souls are saved and whether they have eternal life — and that's
what really matters.
It
doesn't matter if it's the nineteenth, fifteenth, or the first century, humans
are the same. When you read Apostle Paul, you can see the picture of today's
life: God be true, but every man a liar (Romans 3:4). Sure, we can idealistically
recall our childhood years: an alternative way of doing things and different
relationships among people, but you cannot subsist on it all the time. I don't
think it makes sense to keep something on your shelves to remember it. What
really does make sense is when you rise up and pray. That's what I think.
Perhaps, I'm an emotionless person…
The
border between the living and the dead disappears for me. You can see humans
with empty eyes, with burnt-out consciences, and they are already dead. Nowadays,
we are under constant pressure from too much information and too many problems;
our lives become too fast-paced. People must struggle to remain in love with
each other. True communion with God, prayer and actions inspired by God's love,
which unites us and defeats temporal differences, is more important for us than
anything. Time differences simply wither away.
Nun Juliania: Then
there's a question: do we need biographies of saints?
Archpriest Andrew Lemeshonok: Yes we
do. Lives of saints aren't their autobiographies. They are written by the
Church as a means of our edification. Some people say that the biographies of
saints contain many exaggerations and fictitious facts. Of course, writing an
account of a saint's life puts its author in a different situation. The purpose
of saints' biographies is to make a person who touches the saint's life by
reading such a biography see Divine action, instead of focusing on dirty
laundry, which everyone has plenty of, even saints.
Should we
recall what St Cyril of Alexandria used to say about St John Chrysostom? It was
their own business… Instead, we should be talking about the great wonders that
the Lord has shown through these holy hierarchs. We never recall bad things
about our deceased relatives or friends, even if there were some, do we? We
prefer talking about the good things. This is the kind of memory that we must
store.
Nun Juliania: We have
enough information about many saints today, especially about the more recent
20th-century saints. Their biographies contain all facts, both favorable and
not-so-favorable. On the contrary, the biographies of the early Christian
saints contain just a couple of paragraphs and are almost entirely
complimentary.
Archpriest Andrew Lemeshonok: Seeing
shortcomings of these people and how they struggled with them is very
beneficial for the readers.
Nun Juliania: When I
tell someone about Holy Martyr Elisabeth, I always point out that she was a
granddaughter of the British Queen and a German princess. She did not even
speak Russian for a great portion of her life but she became a Russian saint.
This is important for me. Isn't it a miracle when one becomes a Russian? One
becomes a Russian when he considers himself to be Russian and sees himself as
part of the Russian culture.
For
instance, I am afraid that my children will forget the names of our ancestors,
which I managed to get to know, after I die (I had archives in Novocherkassk
explored, and we managed to discover several new names). I do my best to
commemorate all of them. When I die, who will commemorate them? Will the
eternal memory of them not be eternal anymore? Or will the Lord Himself
commemorate them?
Archpriest Andrew Lemeshonok: You
commemorate them, and we can hope that they are in the Heavenly Kingdom
already. So they will be praying for you and your relatives.
Nun Juliania: There is
no time at all for God, is there? What if I prayed for twenty or thirty years
of my earthly life and then my prayer stopped?
Archpriest Andrew Lemeshonok: The
Church prays for the peace and well-being of the entire world. An elder was
sitting on the sea shore, and young Father Sophrony asked him, "Pray for
me, Father." The elder did not pay any attention to him and just replied,
"I pray for the whole world, and that includes you."
Everyone
has his own measure. Those who keep the memory of their ancestors, preserve
archives and so forth, do good. Those who don't, do good, too. They think of
heavenly things; they no longer care about all this stuff. You can find some
good everywhere.
Everyone
will be remembered. When you are at your deathbed, you can pass your
commemoration book on to someone, like your grandson (laughs).
You can
often witness the following: there is a wonderful and affluent family but then,
some time later, nothing remains of them. They apparently lived in mutual
respect and it was pleasant to look at them, and then — behold, there's no one
of them left: they died in a car crash. The house that they were building and
where so many family members could live happily, stays vacant. And there's an
old lady who stares at that house and asks, "Who did they build that house
for? Why did it happen?" How can we accept the fact that God took the
lives of the entire family? I think we shouldn't be thinking too much.
How do
people have conversations in the Kingdom of Heaven? It is hard for us to answer
this question. Elder Silouan said that he prayed for all people but as soon as
he would see God, he would not remember anyone because all things will dissolve
in the Divine love.
We can
experience certain glimpses of the everlasting life and discover something new
and strange but, generally speaking, it's a mystery that cannot be put into
words. Even a man like Apostle Paul could not find proper words to describe
what he saw in the paradise. Nevertheless, we are eager to describe the
paradise as a "garden with birds and flowers…" Especially if someone
has experienced clinical death…
Nun Juliania: Some
people saw the hell, too…
Archpriest Andrew Lemeshonok: It is
merely a symbol. For example, we often see Angels portrayed as young men with
wings and curly hair. Do they really look like that? No, it's just an image.
One can only see what he is prepared to see.
A fragment of a Meeting of the Sisterhood in
honor of St.
Elisabeth
October 27, 2017
St.
Elisabeth Convent
