Personal Stories: I live thanks to the Mother of God
My parents came from Kuban. My father was killed in the wartime, and my mother moved to Transcarpathia, where I was born. Our house stood near the church in honour of the Nativity of Mother of God, at a distance of about four hundred metres. The priest who served there had two children, a boy of my age, and a girl a bit older. So I spent almost all my time in the church. The time was very hard, and the priest had something to eat. We spent nights in the church as wards.
Soon persecutions began. A man who had been an officer
of the White Army hid a lot of spiritual books from the Cheka officers under
the ground of his house. Such books could hardly be found even in the church.
We copied these books into our exercise books secretly. Once, when I was very
tired, I took this exercise book in school by mistake. When my teacher saw this
exercise book, she took it away from me and sent for the district militia
officer. They took me directly from the school and sent me to Saratov oblast
into an orphanage. I was ten at that time.
What I experienced in the orphanage cannot be
expressed in plain language. It was the time of war and hunger. When they took
us to the city, kind people gave us something to wear. Some boys smoked. I was
always asked about my parents, whether they were believers or not, although
they could read it in my biographical particulars. When there was somebody from
a Christian family, life was very difficult for him, he was beaten even by
counselors. Thus I had everything beaten out of me in a couple of years; I was
scared to death to say that I believe in God. During my last year in the
orphanage, when I only had to stay there for half more year, my mother died. We
heard then that orphans can enter military institutions. I was one of them.
The school taught students who were to serve the
nation beyond its borders. I graduated from this school, had practise at the
state border, and then I found myself in special missions military unit. My
life went astray after that: Serbia, Bulgaria, five years in Angola. So I
completely stopped going to church.
When I was wounded for the first time, I recalled my
childhood and our church. I had not prayed throughout all those years, I had
forgotten about God. But here I remembered that when I was a young boy during
the war, a bullet went one centimetre close to my head and did not hurt me. My
mum then said that I was saved by Mother of God.
After I was wounded, I started looking for any
literature. At that time there were few churches, one priest for five or six
villages. However, some people helped me. I met an old woman who brought me
some books and two small icons of the Saviour and of Mother of God of Kazan.
This old woman told me that she knew Marshal Zhukov very well. She said that he
also had the icon of Mother of God of Kazan in his car, although he was a Marshal!
Finally, I returned to the Soviet Union. I visited
some churches in Ukraine, spent some time in Lithuania, and eventually settled
in Pskov oblast, where I was in charge of a huge farm. Everything was fine but
suddenly an accident changed all my life. I had to leave my house and go to the
place where nobody knew me. That was how the Lord brought me to Pskov-Caves
monastery.
I stayed in the monastery for more than ten years. At
first it was difficult to get rid of my past. First, I had served in the army
in the past. Second, I missed the large farm where I had worked because there
were about one hundred bulls, eighty pigs, a mill, tractors, and everything
worked very well. I had to lose it at a glance. Later I somehow reconciled
myself with this fact. Besides, Fr. John (Krestiankin) helped me a lot. He
allowed me to come to him anytime to talk. So when I had problems, I went to
him. We prayed with him and talked, he anointed me with oil and everything
became fine at once.
I decently tried to work diligently; I quickly got
accustomed to the life of the monastery. I worked in the fields on a tractor
and guarded the holy monastery. Later, because I knew foreign languages, I was
told to serve as a guide for tourists. The Lord strengthened me, it was easy
for me to pray, I could sit in church nights away.
In 1993, I had terrible aches in the throat. I could
not understand what was going on with me. So I went to doctors. They said I was
contused, and they could not do anything for me. I suffered like this for half
a year. No medicine could help me. It was impossible to endure pain, so I began
to cry at nights, and I even had thoughts about suicide. All of a sudden, the
doctor of our monastery called me. She inspected me carefully and said, “Here
is your referral for treatment. Go to Pskov immediately.” There they dragged me
through hospitals, when at last, a young doctor said, “You are ill with cancer,
but do not be in despair.” He helped me to get into an oncology clinic, where I
stayed for six years. They would let me go the monastery for a couple of days,
and then they would take me into the hospital again. Finally, I lost fifteen
kgs and was carried in a stretcher. The doctors were sincere about my
diagnosis. My brothers in the monastery even made a coffin for me. I saw it in
my dream, and I did not like it.
It was Christmas eve. The ward assistants brought me
to the ward and lay me onto my bed. There happened an event I will never
forget. It was not that I fell asleep, but I could dimly see St. Michael Church
in Pskov monastery. Light showed in the left choir (where I had never been).
Mother of God, clad in red, went out and knelt. I cannot explain what it was
but I could walk again in a couple of days. I still live because of Mother of God. God’s
Providence led me to Belarus, into St. Elisabeth Convent. Belarus is dear to me
because it was in Minsk, in Novinki, that my older brother died. Now I search
for the place of his burial. I would like to consecrate this land, and build a
chapel.
That is how I live and work. May the Lord help me to
serve Him, His Church and people as much as I can.
A Story from
2009 by Monk Pavel
A Few Words About Monasticism
People are tied to the earth. They
depend on the inevitable changes that occur there. It is difficult for a person
who lives in this world in accordance with temporary laws to become free from
sin. Sin kills the soul, breaks up its connection with God and makes people
dead. This is why people are seeking for God.
Faced with earthly cares, vanity, competition (that comes both from the outside and from the inside), people ache and suffer, and they cannot find the permanent place designated for God. The Lord says that He does not have a place to lay His head. God, the Creator of the Earth, does not have a place in this world. The world sends God to the Cross because it does not accept His love.
Faced with earthly cares, vanity, competition (that comes both from the outside and from the inside), people ache and suffer, and they cannot find the permanent place designated for God. The Lord says that He does not have a place to lay His head. God, the Creator of the Earth, does not have a place in this world. The world sends God to the Cross because it does not accept His love.
There are souls that made up their
minds to follow God to the end, without compromises, without falsehood, and without
illusions. These people decided to exchange all the riches of the world,
everything that the world can give for the inner freedom of being with God and
not depending on this world.
Of course, this is not a formal
decision but an earnest drive to reach the Heavenly Kingdom, a desire to
preserve the grace and not to lose love towards God in one's heart. Earthly
cares are devastating for one's soul. When people rely only on themselves, on
their egos, on their fallen reason and wicked desires in building their lives
as they deem fit, they cannot see God and their neighbor. Monasticism is a way
of life where everything is subjected to the will of God and renunciation of
sin. It is a passage from the earthly kingdom into the Heavenly Kingdom; it is
the resurrection of one's soul. But it does not come easily and quickly.
An individual who is totally subdued
by sin, has to humble himself down, see his wretchedness and the beauty of his
neighbor, and get to know God's love. This should happen not only when one
feels calm and content but also when life is tough and he has to suffer.
Monasticism means a permanent struggle and renunciation of one's ego. There was
a Father who, when asked about monasticism, took a skufia off his head, threw
it on the ground and trampled it underfoot — that’s what a monk must be like,
he said. A monastic is a person who has forgotten himself; he lives not on the
earth but in the Heaven already.
Things that are high in this world are an
abomination before God: this is why the world does not see the value of
monastic life; it sheds tears for those who have put on the black robes and
turned down all its advantages and comfort; the world mourns those who live not
for their own sake, but instead crucify their egos, their passions and lust.
The aim of monasticism is love towards God and one’s neighbour; a monastic
strives for acquiring love in his heart. When a person rejects his own ego and
becomes a novice, when he begins to obey without trusting himself, it is then
that he steps onto the road that leads to the Jerusalem on high: the painful
and harsh road it is indeed, for one who has to struggle with oneself. But it
is also full of joy, for the Lord is near and He always comforts those who
follow Him.
The world has no time to pray and to
think about the eternity. A monastic has to fill in what is missing by praying
for the entire world, by looking for God’s glory in everything, and by finding
the beauty of the love of Christ in each person. The Lord says, Learn of me,
because I am meek, and humble of heart (Matthew 11:29). People who come to God
and devote their entire lives to serving God, they unite into one family called
a monastery to build their relationships that go beyond the earthly laws while
being here on this earth. They are looking for the love of Christ, who is in
our midst.
Jesus Christ is the center to which these souls are drawn through repentance, self-restraint, and humility before each other. A person who does not seek her own, who puts herself into God’s hands, who does her best to thank God for everything, never gets depressed and does not spare himself. Everything he has belongs to God, so he does not show off his own merits; he is ashamed to do so. A monastic prays for the world and asks the Lord to allow all people more time to get to know God’s love and to enter the Heavenly Kingdom. A monastic is not a mummy in black clothes but a living human being who lives a beautiful life. With God, everything bears the trace of the heavenly beauty. Struggle with himself, with the world, and with the devil takes up all the time of a monastic, so he has no time to be depressed or to judge his neighbor.
Jesus Christ is the center to which these souls are drawn through repentance, self-restraint, and humility before each other. A person who does not seek her own, who puts herself into God’s hands, who does her best to thank God for everything, never gets depressed and does not spare himself. Everything he has belongs to God, so he does not show off his own merits; he is ashamed to do so. A monastic prays for the world and asks the Lord to allow all people more time to get to know God’s love and to enter the Heavenly Kingdom. A monastic is not a mummy in black clothes but a living human being who lives a beautiful life. With God, everything bears the trace of the heavenly beauty. Struggle with himself, with the world, and with the devil takes up all the time of a monastic, so he has no time to be depressed or to judge his neighbor.
A
monastic concentrates on the inner person, he is not quick with words and
reluctant to pass judgments; he is looking for God’s Word that, when it comes,
becomes alive for everybody. It is God’s mercy that monasteries are being
restored and built nowadays. People who have got tired of the hustle and bustle
of this world and its disappointments are looking for a quiet harbor where they
can learn to love God and their neighbors. Therefore, the Lord builds
monasteries and gathers His earthly warriors in order to make them His heavenly
army. The Church is the people united into one single whole around Christ. Monastics
are the vanguard of this army.
The vows that a monastic takes during
the rite of monastic profession are not fulfilled by him as they must be, which
is why his soul constantly has to humble down, admonish itself, and ask God to
forgive it. God grants His grace to the humble.
The Lord tells the pious young
man, If thou wilt be perfect, go sell what thou hast: and come follow me (Matthew,
19:21). The young man in this Gospel account did not follow Christ because he
was reluctant to abandon the earthly things he had; monastics, on the contrary,
are the people who follow God, and the Lord comforts those who choose this
narrow path. Joy and tenderness that dawn on one’s soul after the hard times of
temptations give her strength to go ahead and to be the light for those who
cannot see this path yet.
One’s soul wants to be alone with
God, and it finds joy everywhere there is God. Such a soul runs away from sin.
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for
theirs is the kingdom of heaven (Matthew, 5:3). A monastic does not boast about
his gains or earthly beauty; all he can boast about is God, and he keeps
saying, I can do all these things in him who strengtheneth me (Phil., 4:13).
Father Andrew
An interview with an icon painter: The Icon is an Outlook into the Heavenly Kingdom
Father Sergius Nezhbort, head of the icon-painting
workshop of St. Elisabeth Convent: “The icon is born through
prayer of many people” .
How did you become an icon-painter?
It is hard to say how I became an icon-painter and
whether I became one at all. First, I had a dream. It turned out that when I
came to the Church, the Lord revealed Himself to me through the icon. This
event changed everything in my life: I started attending church, I was
baptized, and the icon became a window into the Heavenly Kingdom for me. At
that time I wanted to believe that I would be painting icons one day. I was
just an artist then. I studied in a school of art. I dreamt of painting icons
but time flied, and life was going on and on, and one day I realized that it
was not possible, as I had neither an opportunity, nor a person who would teach
me. I forgot about my dream for a while. Five years passed, and this dream came
true one day. It happened so that I had an opportunity to get involved in
icon-painting. This has become an integral part of my life. However, it is far
too daring to call myself an icon-painter.
The History of the Workshop
Larisa Nezhbort, nun Ludmila (Leiko) and I were
blessed by Fr Andrew Lemeshonok to work in the icon-painting workshop in spring
1999. Each one of us had their own way to the icon. At that time there was
daring and great desire to do that but we were not skilled to paint icons and
we had practically nothing to start with. We were doing our best. Gradually,
year by year, new people kept coming… and the workshop grew steadily. Much has
changed since then. At that time, we did not know the most basic principles:
how to gild an icon and how to rub up colors. Our first icons were like sand
paper because we were bad at rubbing up the pigments. Now everything is
different. Then we had little materials and we had no opportunity to work with
good samples. There were a couple of books and albums from home libraries, and
this was not enough, of course. I reviewed our old photos several days ago, and
I was ashamed when I saw what we were making at that time. Probably, this was a
certain stage of our development and we had to go through it. Now there is
another stage. When new people come in our workshop willing to paint icons,
they can have answers to their questions from our own experience. Skills we had
to acquire for years (painting, gilding, using a sample), can be used by the
students after a month of learning.
Who taught you to paint icons?
Our first steps were assisted by Archpriest Igor
Latushko. We all knew him and asked him questions concerning the substance side
of the icon in the first place. For example, he could clearly explain why a
certain saint must be painted exactly that way, and what was the meaning and
the symbolism of a festive icon. It was vital for us at that time because we
all had just artistic education. Personally, I had a very important experience
in my life when I helped the icon-painter Andrew Kosikov. Working in his
workshop as an apprentice, I saw the inner side of an icon-painter’s work and
understood how hard it was. I did not know much at that time but I could gesso
the boards, I could wash a palette or the floor…
I was very pleased to take
part in all this. Now when I paint icons myself I can see that it would be more
difficult for me if I did not have such experience. These two people helped me
a lot in the very beginning. We do not have certain teachers, though. We
learned from each other most likely. We learned from books, we learned by
studying icon-painter’s samples carefully, we learned from prayer and faith. We
traveled to Fr Zinon several times but I cannot say he was our teacher. He was
always very hospitable to us and that was important for us at that moment.
Well, and surely, when you see the icons of this master, when you see him at
work, you can understand a lot.
How do you paint an icon?
Like a human, an icon maybe has the body, the soul and
the spirit. It is always difficult to speak about the spiritual side of the
matter. It is easier to speak from the craftsman’s point of view. An icon is
painted in a traditional way. From the very beginning we decided that we would
paint traditional icons, without using new technologies, modern colors or
primers. We try to paint icons as they were painted in ancient times. We paint
them on a lime or pine board with a nitch. The board is primed in a special
way. The priming consists of chalk and glue, it is applied in several coats and
gives a flat and smooth surface. The pigments we use are prepared from
minerals, even semiprecious stones are used (such as lazurite and malachite).
An icon is painted following a sample. Looking at the sample, an icon-painter
traces the lines of the icon first, then the background or the halo is covered
with gold leaf, and the icon-painter continues his work. Garments and buildings
are painted first, and then we paint the faces. The icon is covered with
varnish in the very end. These are the main steps but everybody has a different
approach toward them. As a rule, the soul of the person and his inner life are
somehow reflected in his work. An icon is a spiritual barometer in a sense,
since it shows the inner state of the icon-painter. While an artist expresses
himself through his work and admires it at a picture, one looks at an icon as a
mirror where one can see all his untruth. This exposes the sins of the
icon-painter and can be pressing sometimes. The difficulty and the problem with
the icon-painter’s ministry is that although you can see that you are not ready
to paint icons, you still have to go on painting. The Lord helps through icons.
A person who faces his inner untruth begins searching for God even more so that
he could change and live according to the Lord’s truth.
On attitude to printed icons
What is my attitude? I venerate them. An icon is an
icon whatever method of production: painted using pigments or printed using a
printing press. If the icon complies with the rules and is consecrated, it is
an icon anyway. Sometimes printed icons do not correspond to artistic tastes,
but tastes differ, you know. Praise the Lord that every person has an
opportunity to have an icon in his house because if the icons were painted
only, not everybody could afford them, for it is expensive. On the other hand,
there is a negative side to it because people really appreciated any image in
ancient times because not every one can paint an icon. Everything that is
painstaking to produce is more precious. There are lots of printed icons today,
and people lose the awe before a sacred image, unfortunately.
Traditions that influenced the painting style
It is very hard to tell what traditions had an
influence on us. At first, we based on Ancient Russian samples, the icons of
Andrew Rublev and Dionisius were the benchmarks for us. Now we have a lot of
opportunities: there are sources on Byzantine icons, and we can get to know the
samples of 6th century iconography. Thus, an icon-painter has a wide diversity
to choose from. That is why we do not have a clear-cut tendency. However, the
work of certain icon-painters sets the mainstream of the work for the others.
We also look at the modern samples, for example, at the works of Holy
Trinity-St Sergius Lavra icon-painters and we try to stick to the mainstream of
the modern icon-painting.
On creativity in painting icons
This is a sophisticated question. What is creativity
and what is a canon? Each person has his own answers to these questions. Canon
is a Greek word meaning a straight stick, that is, it defines an upright
measure. The canon is not a set of regulations; it is the language of the
Church. One can view the canon as a rigid pattern, but creativity can be also
eerie. The Lord inspired creative life into everybody. The human is created
according to the image of God the Creator. A meeting of God and man happens in
an icon. There is man and there is the Lord, and an icon-painter bears witness
to this meeting when he paints an icon. Thus a true icon is created, for
example, the icon of the Holy Trinity by Andrew Rublev. This is visibly not a
human invention (daydreaming) but the highest of the arts. This is what turns
into a canon. The canon is not derived from dry theoretical data. It appears
where God and man meet one another and perhaps, the people who are near
suddenly see that this is something they may and should follow. That is how the
canon appears. It is wrong to speak of the canon as of a stable pattern. The
icons of new saints have to be painted now. There are no canonical images of
these saints; there are photos so an icon-painter should have a creative
approach. Generally, the Church is alive, and the life cannot stop dead in its
tracks.
On students
People who would like to become icon-painters keep
coming. Some come and then go, some remain. It is life. How does a tree grow?
Some branches blossom and some wither. The same holds true for our workshop as
well. There are people who seek for an opportunity to serve God through the
icon. So we attempt to share our experience. It is far too early to call it a
“teacher-student” relationship. We just try to share something we have learned
or felt.
Is there a difference between an artist and an
icon-painter?
It depends on the personality of the artist or the
icon-painter. Pablo Picasso and Andrew Rublev are different although both have
some peculiarities that are impossible to compare. Not every artist should be
an icon-painter. This is because an icon-painter is a person who serves God in
the first place. Icon painting is a church obedience. There are various
obediences in the Church: choir singing, reading, tidying up the church. All
these obediences are indispensable so it is impossible to say that one is
better and the other is worse. Same with an artist and an icon-painter.
An
icon-painter is indispensable because icons are to be painted for the new
churches that are built; and an artist is indispensable because people look for
the beauty and this beauty does not necessarily have to be of religious
background. Every artist feels God, perhaps, even in the outward beauty: in
nature, in people and in relations. That is why I think there is no conflict
between an artist and an iconographer; it is that their tasks differ. An
icon-painter has a more particular speciality. Generally, an artist…I think that
every person is an artist in a sense. And it is impossible to clearly separate
one from another.
What icons are painted most often?
The icon painted most often is the icon of our
Saviour. This is the main icon and most people want to have the icons of the
Savior and the Mother of God in their homes. Many people also order an icon of
their heavenly patrons.
Is painting icons a catholic art?
Sure. Look at it from the technical side of the
matter: one person makes the board, another covers it with gesso, a third gilds
it and a fourth paints on it. Only if they cooperate and unite their efforts,
an icon can appear. An icon-painter must understand that everything he does is
the reflection of the prayer of the whole Church. The more people seek for God,
the easier it is for us to paint an icon. Looking back into history, the 15th
century is the Golden Age of icon-painting. There was spiritual revival at that
time but when it faded the icon-painters faced more difficulties as they
worked. The late 20th and the early 21st centuries, judging from the fact that
many icon-painting workshops have come into existence, is the time of spiritual
revival. Fr Igor often says that an icon-painter reflects the today’s state of
the humankind. It is important that people who come to church and look at the
icons would understand that this is not a one-person work. An icon comes in
existence as a result of prayer of many people.
Family Relationships: Never say “I am going to divorce!”
It is a great joy, when you have a family: a wife, a husband, children…
Another great joy is when you can hold on to this family, make it through tough times and make sure it doesn't fall apart. Let us pray, that you never have to go through the problems we will
talk about today.
In some cases we may feel tired from family relationships. Some
people are in crisis now and think at heart: “Was it a right decision to marry? Was he or she the right choice? And why did I choose that particular person?” But what is most important is that you should never say the
words “I’m going to divorce!” You should do your best to avoid this. Because I
know pretty much family couples which are ready to talk about getting divorced.
It is really wonderful if you have a family. Marriage, family – these
are the Divine gifts. It is an honor expressed by God. It is a calling to relish
love and unity of bodies, hearts, souls, and character. We cannot imagine how
great it is. But how can it be that people having such joy decide to divorce?
Quite strange. Why a wife and a husband cannot live in this unity and get old together? Once a man, who was going to get married within a few months, asked me:
- Father, I would like to know, whether I must live my whole life with
the one woman after marriage.
I should mention that he was quite a bad-tempered and passionate person.
So I told him:
- Yes, you must. A marriage means that you spend your life with the one
person.
- But it is too difficult! – He said.
Yes, it is really difficult. But if you overcome this “difficulty”, you
will get great delight and happiness. I know this from my own experience. I was
ordained as a priest within the hour. The sacrament ended, but actually that
very moment was just the beginning. The fact that I became a priest one day does not
mean that I reached perfection. Once I asked a man:
- What does your wife like to eat?
- How should I know this?!
- Well… And where does she like to walk? Where does she prefer to spend
time?
- I have definitely no idea about this!
You see? He is always watching TV and he is not going to discover his
wife’s soul, despite the fact that they live together. But this is the thing we
all should learn. It will be difficult, as it is difficult to be married to the
one woman and spend your whole life with her. We can say it is a feat. Often people
are just not ready for marriage. There was a woman who told me one:
- I had no idea that I would face such things. I am so tired. I have no
private space. I cannot live for myself! There are always problems with
children and one of them is always sick. There is never enough money, but
everyone demands something for himself. I cannot just sit and say “Enough! I
will not cook for you today, I don’t want to hear or see you all!” I can’t do
this. I have to concentrate all the time, but this makes be exhausted. Things get
even worse when my husband doesn’t understand me.
Do not be surprised. You have married a man, not an angel. It is
absolutely natural, that he cannot satisfy all your needs and wishes. We all
are imperfect. We all are just people, and none of us can carry out all the
wishes of our husbands and wives. No matter how kind, great and beautiful your wife is, she is still a finite creation. It means, she has the beginning and
the end. Her mind and spiritual condition
are different from yours. Today she behaves in this way, tomorrow she can behave
in another way, tomorrow she is a bit different. Later you begin to think:
“What is going on? Why is it so?” There is nothing special, because it is just
our nature.
A person is like a rose, which can change within a year. In the morning
she is in beams of the sun she looks in one way, but when it rains – she is
already different. And when it starts to fade it becomes unrecognizable entirely.
We can say the same about people. If you say you want to divorce your
wife, then my reply will be the following: you have not known her well enough up to today that you are tired of her. Our spouses keep a lot of secrets, a lot of
new and undiscovered things, which they can share with us. We just know so little
about them.
Attention means much as well. Do you remember the story in the Gospel, in which God
showed the inner beauty of the Samaritan just by His good attitude towards her? God
asked for some water, and by this He paid much respect to her. All women needs
such respect. They need praise and compliments,or just a few kind words. Not
sugary, but kind.
When I was in Thessaloniki, I was visiting a family and we had dinner together.
The hostess made a wonderful meal. I liked it so much that I asked for one more
portion. Then I said to her with her husband and children here:
- It is so delicious! I really like the meal you have made.
The kind woman was so happy:
- Father, let me put one more portion for you.
I agreed and passed her the plate. But her husband turned to me and
said:
- Not big deal. It’s just food… She knew the receipt from her mother and
since then she cooked this dish.
Then I asked him:
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
- And you never make your wife compliments? Even for a delicious meal?
- Yes.
But it is so easy to tell someone a few kind words! Why do you ignore your
wife’s efforts? She may buy new clothes or have her hair cut, but you do not
notice this. You are not interested in it. She asks: “Do you like my new hair
style?” And the husband replies: “Is it really different from what it looked
like before?” He does not pay attention to his wife, he does not honor her.
Thus we get the lack of gratitude. Sometimes the spouses complain about each
other too much. They do this because of the thoughts which are deceptive. If
you manage to understand, that your family is a God’s gift, then you notice
this fraud inside yourself.
To be honest, I am always surprised with the couples, who live in
harmony after the marriage. By this I mean that they have their ups and downs,
they can quarrel but they always find the decision and make it up with each
other. They are fighting and love each other on the same time. It is good,
because during the quarrel people learn more about each other. When we swear we say to each other the words which are unpleasant to us. We get free and
become who we really are. But we must look at women as those, who really like to tell
pleasant and kind words.
- Do you speak to your husband in the same manner? I guess if he hears
such words from you, perhaps, he will give his life for you.
- Don’t say that, father. He is not you.
- Really? I see, you don’t speak to him in the same way…
Another time I was talking to the churchwoman. I sighed and said:
- I’d love to eat a spinach pie!
Next day she brought me five pies made by different women. So I asked her:
- But what if your husband asked for something delicious to
eat? Would you do the same?
- No, father. You are the servant of God.
- Is he not? Hasn’t your marriage been blessed by the Church? Are you
not bound to your husband after that? Then why do you say he is not the servant
of God? You must consider him to be the servant of God and be ready to give
your life for him. And then we will be as well. Then it will be great!
The newlyweds invited me once. They have a refrigerator with the door
covered with different stickers like “Dear, love you”, “You are my love” and so
on. I asked who did that. The young husband answered, that it was his wife’s
idea. What do we need this for? It serves to remind us, that we are not alone,
that there is someone who loves us. And when we spell out such words, then we get
mutual understanding.
That is why it is great to watch a film together and then
discuss it. Or if you can go out somewhere for several
days. You have no money? Then find it! Because otherwise you will have to save up for a lawyer. Their service costs much more. Otherwise we suffer from excess: we begin to lose our temper, our family
life becomes routine, and certain problems emerge. You have married not for
this. We deserve a better life. And that is why we should learn to thank God
for the gifts He sends us. The husband is a gift for the wife, and the wife is
a gift for the husband. Let us relish the God’s gift, and then our life become far
more pleasant.
Source: http://www.pravmir.ru/nikogda-ne-govorite-razvozhus/
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