Little Victories
Abbess Euphrosinia (Laptik)
How can you say something in such a way that
people would understand it properly? You may be saying one thing but people
would understand it differently.
There are certain points that we fail to
appreciate. When you try to talk about them, people hardly comprehend it. For
instance, there is a sermon after an akathist but some sisters sit and talk. I
know that there is an audio recording. However, you are not listening, you are
talking. Why not stand and listen like everyone else?
I believe that these things — these small
efforts — mean a lot, even though they appear to be insignificant. If we
indulge ourselves too much, we may lose much more. Such behavior leads to
emptiness and weariness. In contrast, the Lord rewards us with joy even for the
tiniest victories, which make up a great joy.
The dreams and intentions I had when I came to
the Convent have started to materialize only recently. Elder Sophrony (Sakharov)
used to say that if you win a thousand times and lose just once, you feel upset
but if you lose a thousand times and win only once, you think you are a hero.
I would like each one of you to hear that
because this is how we can become more deeply rooted in the Church tradition,
which is what we often talk about. The Church has existed for more than two
thousand years. We have the Holy Scripture and the Holy Tradition, which is
transmitted by word of mouth and helps to preserve the orderly life of the Church
and its worship practices.
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| St.Elisabeth Convent in the wintertime. |
Why do we look so pathetic in comparison with old ladies? Because they
stand the entire service on crutches, while you, although you are still young,
are looking for a seat. We don't have less strength than that old lady. She is
persevering, whilst we are negligent. The Lord is capable of healing us if we
really want it, and if we put more effort into such things.
For instance, when we go on a procession with the cross and icons, some
young sisters are too lazy to go with us. Why? Well, don't justify yourself by
saying that the abbess does not go, too: I may need to skim through some books
to get ready for tomorrow's Liturgy. You must do your best. You are responsible
for what you are doing before God. This is very important.
We have a spiritual father, and the Lord has blessed him with a global
all-encompassing vision. However, there are some basic things that we also have
to pay attention to. They are essential to make our spiritual lives wholesome
and full. They must be self-evident but we ignore them. Father Sophrony used to
say that there are no things that are too insignificant to be worth our
attention, for greatness lies in small things. This is why it is so hard for us
to tolerate one another. This is why we are so impatient and annoyed. When you
make someone else do what you are expected to do yourself - it means that you
are careless, corrupt, and whimsical. What I say now is not an attempt to
condemn anyone. Not at all. We are all guilty of it. We should learn to sympathize
with each other and support each other. We simply have to admit our
shortcomings, grieve over them and admonish ourselves. When I'm saying this, I
don't exclude myself, for I am guilty, too.
***
I had a very illuminating
experience not long ago. I learned the Saviour's words, "I was in prison,
and ye came unto me. . . I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat" (Cf.
Matthew 25:35-40) from my own experience. I was driving and I saw a man
indicating that he needed a ride. He was visibly drunk. Several cars had driven
past him. I stopped and thought, "Wow, I've stopped!" (Laughs) Our ride was short. He talked
all the time; he almost wept and asked me to pray for him. You know, people
often feel inclined to repent after drinking some alcohol, and besides, I was
wearing the habit... When he got out of my car, I felt as if it was Jesus who
had visited me in such an unfathomable way. The feeling was so vivid! I had
never had such an experience, even when I visited the hospital unit. I was so
surprised! Even though that person was drunk and talked nonsense… Christ is
near, and you spend your life without noticing him.
A Special Garden for Special Kids
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| Donate to Support the Children |
It is
always a pleasure to learn about good ideas and about people who decide to do
some good for someone else's, not their own sake. That was why the news about
this good and nice project — a sensory garden on the territory of the boardinghome for children with special needs — made me happy. St Elisabeth Convent has
been catering for this boarding home for many years.
Winter
does not look like the perfect season for starting a new garden. However, the
sisters have a lot to do during winter: plan everything in detail in order to
use up all the land and to create something very special and unforgettable for
the young patients of the boarding home. It must be a wonderful gift to these
kids who spend so little time outdoors and know so little about the nature!
It was
Alyona Ovlashevich (she works in the boarding home and at the same time studies
towards a degree in landscape design) who came up with the idea to establish
the sensory garden. St Elisabeth Convent supported her initiative.
"There
is a vacant plot of land on the territory of the boarding home. It caught my
attention some time ago," Alyona says. "We are going to improve it
and transform it into a sensory garden next spring. I am certain that it will
bring a lot of positive feelings and new discoveries to our children!
A sensory
garden is a plot where everything is organised in a certain way and serves
certain purposes. It is organised in such a way as to create beneficial
surroundings to get in touch with nature - an opportunity that so many of big city
dwellers find missing. Such gardens have become very popular in schools and
hospitals of many European countries. So we try to adopt this new trend now.
Scholars today even speak of the so called "garden therapy." Nature
may help to improve one's health and mood, to let a person feel harmony,
develop their personality and discover the world around them."
For a child,
each day is filled up with some interesting and important discoveries.
Gradually, step by step, they learn about the world that surrounds them. Nature
plays an important role in the children's upbringing and education. A sensory
garden gives them an opportunity to get to know it better. Each visitor does
not only observe it but also actively participates in the fascinating encounter
with nature.
Alyona
smiles, "We won't tell you everything we have in mind but I promise that
children will like our garden! It will be beautiful, safe and useful at the
same time. We will plan everything meticulously so that the children with
learning difficulties would feel comfortable and secure.
We plan to
use materials, plants and objects that help one to fully perceive the beauty of
the natural environment. Our young patients will be able to look at the
beautiful plants, smell their scents, and much more. A sensory garden is a
place where visitors are allowed and even encouraged to interact with the
environment. They can touch the plants and even taste some of them. We plan to
plant some edible plants, like strawberries or ornamental apple trees, for that
purpose. We are going to set up some benches in the yard where people could sit
and relax and enjoy the nature. We will also dig out a small pond and a
waterfall where people will see the water run and hear it pour. We will use
fragrant herbs for the lawn, such as mint, balm, sage, mother-of-thyme, etc.
Natural scents are also a source of joy and an excellent mood.
Written by Tatiana Shimko
Ministry Update: The Church of St. John of Shanghai and San Francisco - December 2015
Ministry Update: The Church of St. John of Shanghai and San Francisco - December 2015
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| Main Entrance to the Church |
A short video explaining why the church is being built:
Video Blog: How vestments are made.
A story of recovery: United by common pain and common joy
UNITED BY COMMON PAIN AND COMMON JOY
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| Mother of God the Inexhaustible Chalice |
Thursday is a special day for the members of the Road to Christ support
group for those whose relatives suffer from various addictions (alcohol, drug,
or video game). They push aside all their daily routines and come to St.Elisabeth Convent from various neighbourhoods of Minsk. On entering, someone
greets the group as though they are her friends and relatives, united by common
pain and common joy, however strange this may sound. Someone else has come here
only recently and feels uneasy and uncomfortable, not quite sure why she, not
her ill relative, has to attend that group.
I came to a meeting dedicated to the first birthday of the Road to Christ
group. That meeting was a special one. It was important for the participants to
be able to speak honestly and openly about the results of the first year of the
group's existence. They recalled some memorable moments, shared their
impressions, summed up the results, planned for the future, wept and laughed
together.
"…I Thought
She Wouldn't Pull Through…"
Irina was the first to start. She has attended the Road to Christ group
since the early days of its existence. She had known Tatiana Makarova, the
group's facilitator (they had previously attended another support group
together). When Tatiana told her that a new group was soon to open in St.Elisabeth Convent, she was very excited and did not doubt, even for a single
moment, that she needed to go there. By that time, she had learned the hard way
that such support groups are a must. Each person chooses a group that suits her
best.
Irina recollects, "My daughter is addicted to drugs. My doctor advised
me to go to one such group during a difficult period in my life. He told me
that I would certainly feel better; the only thing I needed was courage. I felt
so very depressed at that time! It seemed to me that I would never be happy
again. We went to a meeting of that group together: my husband, my son, and I.
I was shocked since the very first moments: many people turned out to have
difficult situations like mine. I saw several addicts, and some recovering
addicts who managed to change their lives. No doubt, such groups are necessary
for people to realize that they are not the only ones who are in such a
trouble. One needs these groups, these attentive, concerned and experienced
people, their help, advice and friendly hugs in order to be able to help
herself and her dependent relatives.
When I learned that my daughter was into drugs, I grappled with that
painful discovery for two months, I could not help crying all the time. My
daughter felt relieved because she no longer had to conceal anything. Terrible
and unthinkable things were going on in our life! Our daughter and her husband
who was an addict, too, were no longer shy of anything. I keep asking myself
whether they were human at that time, whether they were worthy of that name at
all. They tried to seek medical assistance several times but they either did
not come to the hospital at all, or did not finish the treatment.
My daughter quit a well-paid job; her husband was jailed for robbery. I
recall one of my acquaintances say very important but literally painful words
to me, "It would be mean if you don't use strict measures towards your
daughter." I could not get it for a long time: how can I, a mother, do
harm or even be mean to my child?
I am grateful to our Road to Christ group. It has taught me a lot. They
explain how we should behave with our dependent relatives: for instance, how to
coexist with a drug addict, how to help them fight their illness, how not to enable
their drug use. I have changed — and my entire family has changed a lot, too. I
have learned to live with God in my heart, to enjoy life; I have learned to
build better relationships with my relatives. Most importantly, my daughter is
recovering! She has gone a year without using drugs, and she helps other
addicts to overcome this deadly passion, too. I am so proud of her! Every day
without drugs is a huge victory for her. She has gone through so much! Our
recovering children are so robust, so beautiful, so attentive! They hurry to
help as soon as they learn that someone is in need. My daughter visits her
husband in jail. They struggle against this dreadful vice together.
I want to improve and become a better person. This is why I attend this
group — my other family — every Thursday. This is why I learn to accept my
weakness and trust God, hoping for his mercy."
Focus on Yourself
Ekaterina began by sharing her impressions of a training session held in
the group by psychologists. Thanks to this session, she managed to see many
things differently.
"My week has been remarkable!" she says. "I came to realize
that we often don't think of what others want or need; we do not ask them about
it, thinking that we know better."
Disaster hit her trouble-free and well-established life like a thunderbolt.
One day she learned that her son took drugs. It was a painful and shameful
finding. She did not know where to run with her despair, how to deal with it,
how to live with a drug addict.
Ekaterina went to one such support group three years ago. She had thought
that no one else in the world had faced the same horror. She did not understand
why she needed to go there at all: it wasn’t her but her son who had the
problems. She just wanted to sit in the corner and listen to other
participants. The meeting, however, did not go as she planned. Each participant
honestly and sincerely shared their very personal experiences, their grief and
pain. She also opened up her soul, burst into tears and felt relieved. The
members of the group hugged her and said comforting words. These people who had
similar experiences could understand everything at a glance. They shared their
own methods of getting rid of co-dependency. She was happy to talk with some
mothers whose children had managed to overcome their drug dependency. At last,
she felt there was a hope that everything would be fine in the end.
"When the relatives of an addict hear that they also need to improve,
to change their own attitudes, most find it hard to accept," Ekaterina
says. "I know that from my personal experience. However, it is essential
to be able to cope with the nightmare of living with a drug addict. We got a
lot of things wrong in our life even before my son started taking drugs but I
did not notice that: on the contrary, I thought everything was fine.
 |
Church in Honor of theMother of God the Inexhaustible Chalice |
I have attended the Road to Christ group for a year already. I had attended
the akathist to the Inexhaustible Chalice icon of the Mother of God in St
Elisabeth Convent every Thursday, so by the time I learned that an Orthodox
rehabilitation group for the codependent was to be opened in the Convent, I had
already been aware that neither we, nor our children could do anything without
God. I saw how it all began — it seemed so difficult to get the group going…
With God's help, a year has passed since that time. I have learned many
important things here. Most importantly, my son is recovering. We all are happy
that our children gradually break free from their pernicious dependencies and
that we manage to pull through these hardships together. Being at peace with
oneself is both simple and difficult. The Road to Christ group has become a
part of my life. I want to recover and grow together with everyone else in this
group."
Honestly and
Wholeheartedly
"Our suffering is an encounter with God," Anna believes.
"God sends us trials to make us rethink our lives, become closer to God
and our neighbours, our families, and understand ourselves."
Anna's home was also affected by this disaster: her son started drinking
heavily. The strong and resolute woman soon learned that it was impossible to
struggle with her son’s alcohol dependency on her own, however hard she tried.
She would feel only unbearable strain, fatigue, constant anxiety and fear.
Anna recalls, "My son would drink for several days. After a short
break, he would go on a binge again. I went to a twelve-step group first, and
then to the group in St Elisabeth Convent. My soul was relieved and revitalised
when I met and talked with other people like me. I felt that I was not alone.
The very fact that you can tell someone what you think and feel without being
afraid that they would get you wrong and reply that you are to blame for all
that, is crucial. We did not raise our children to be alcoholics or drug
addicts! We did not teach them to drink alcohol or take drugs.
 |
After a meeting, I always feel better, happier, and hopeful. We pray
together, learn to improve, to love and to help our special ones in a
meaningful way. It is tough sometimes. When someone tells her story and what is
going on in her life, you cannot help taking her pain and suffering to heart.
Psychologists advise us on the ways to build our relationships with our
dependent relatives and to avoid codependency. First of all, you should heal
yourself. For instance, you should quit trying to change others. Recently, my
son has gone through a course of treatment. I thank God that he is alive and that
he is on the road to recovery!"
Anna did not have an opportunity to attend the group meetings in the last
two months. She had this long break for the first time. It made her understand
just how much the group meant for her and how she missed it. Here are her
sisters, the people who understand her well. It must be noted that the group
does not follow a rigid program: it follows the flow of the soul and the heart…
Everyone who came to the meeting on that Thursday had the chance to speak.
Their stories resembled confessions. Each of the stories was imbued with so
much sincerity and emotion that it was absolutely impossible to remain unmoved
listening to these mature people willing to change their lives, to grow and
become better and holier. Nowadays, they are always busy on Thursdays. It is on
this day of the week that they make their next, albeit small, steps on the road
leading up to God.
 |
Moleben w/Akathist to the Mother of God the Inexhaustible Chalice |
By: Tatiana Shimko
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