The Catalog of Good Deeds

Three years have passed since the launch of the Visiting Nurse Service of our St. Elisabeth Convent with the blessing of the Very Rev Andrew Lemeshonok, the spiritual father of St. Elisabeth Convent, in July 2014. The nurses have already accumulated a lot of experience. Now they plan to build a residential care facility for the elderly. However, it is but a plan. Nowadays they hardly manage to cope with the influx of phone calls that they receive every single day: there are plenty of those who require visiting nurses to take care of their bedridden and frail elderly relatives in Minsk, like in any other big city.

Anna Kovalevskaya, who was in charge of the Visiting Nurse Service, together with other volunteers who chose this difficult path of ministry, had to learn a lot. The nurses even had to travel to Moscow and Saint Petersburg in order to acquire medical knowledge and special skills. Mere compassionate impulses won’t suffice: every day you spend at your patient's bed is a test of your mercy and perseverance. There isn't much hot air here. Those who have become visiting nurses used to work in various other spheres. They used to be accountants, teachers, salespersons, psychologists, mathematicians, radiophysicists, managers, choreographers, engineers, metalworkers, IT specialists, and even manicurists. Now they are united by a common cause. They get together every week in order to discuss new issues, share their experiences, and pray. You can hear many interesting stories during those meetings… I don't want to delve into the stats and create something like a report of the work that has been done during the last three years (given that there are much more requests for help than the available volunteers). While I was writing this article, the Visiting Nurse Service saw a change of its head sister, and some of the patients under the care of the Service died…

What I would like to do is to record and give voice to the unique experience that the sisters (and brothers) of mercy have in dealing with weakness caused by advanced age. I would like to wrap my head about the reasons why people have to be old, ill, and feeble, finally becoming "glory-less and ugly". Someone likened an old person to a dry and lifeless driftwood. When I read it, it seemed to me that an old person is more like a rugged muddy seashell inside of which there is a precious pearl that is his soul, which grows slowly but steadily.

Chapter 1. "They Become Inseparable From You…"

Helena: I perceive each disabled person as if he wasn't disabled at all. Alexander Ivanovich had a stroke, and now one of his arms is already functioning. He forgets about the other one. I say “Hello”, and he extends the functioning arm to greet me. “We've already shaken that hand. I'm interested in shaking the other hand, too.” — “It doesn't work.” — “Who told you that?” And I'll make him stretch the other hand until he actually does it.

Natalia: Before we do anything, any procedure, we are obliged to tell our patients about it and warn them in advance so that they could be ready. We can praise them after the fact but we must never turn them into little and helpless children. That is, we must always let them feel that they are in full control. Otherwise, we can prevent them from doing anything and kill their desire to do anything by doing everything for them.

Joanna: Anna Nikolayevna had a stroke. Her family wasn't accustomed to sentiments. She needs tenderness and love so badly! Not long ago I wanted to touch her for no reason, not because I was leaving. She was sitting in a chair. I looked into her eyes, and felt as if I was looking at my mum. I asked her, "Can I kiss your eyes?" She replied, "Of course, you can…" She raised her half-paralysed arm and hugged me. She always hugs me when I leave. This time, I felt her tenderness: she looked at me with the eyes of my own mother, who had also been called Anna…

Anna Kovalevskaya: There was an old lady whose only joy was to come to a church shop of St. Elisabeth Convent and talk with the sister. She asked the sister for help. We visited her and got to know her. She was so… cool! She could play the guitar and sing; she knew many proverbs and funny sayings. However, she was very weak because she was over 80. We appointed Sister Anna to be her visiting nurse. Her duties were to clean the old lady's house, to bring her food supplies, and to take her outdoors.

If you come to this old lady just for a while, just to see her, it's impossible to leave her quickly. She asks, "Are you leaving already?" And there is so much sadness and disbelief in her eyes.

Recently, she felt very ill due to acute pancreatitis. Sister Anna skipped everything she had been doing, came to that old lady, called the ambulance, and was visiting the old lady in the hospital twice a day, although no one requested it from her… We feel as if these old ladies are our own relatives.

Irina: Maria Ivanovna was very hard to deal with physically. She was going through a difficult time in her life - and in the lives of those who were near. She was absolutely unable to move, and it meant difficulties in providing basic hygiene and treating bedsores. Her personality was also hard to deal with, no doubt.

Anna Kovalevskaya: We discussed that situation with Father Andrew, the spiritual father of St. Elisabeth Convent, and decided that we had to continue looking after her until she died. Irina did not only look after Maria Ivanovna until she died but she also saw her off to her last journey: she attended Maria Ivanovna's funeral service and went to her burial at a remote cemetery. She read the Psalter by the grave, too. When Maria Ivanovna was buried, we felt so easy!

Irina: The feeling was amazing: it was a combination of light sadness and tranquility. I did not feel burdened. Naturally, you get used to each one of your patients. You let them into your heart and they become a part of your life.

Chapter 2. “Learning From Our Mistakes…”

Natalia: I have felt a lot of grace in my heart lately. I did not experience anything like that before. I don't know to whom my previous life belonged and whom I served. I will look into it later. Right now, I have the feeling that I can finally serve God and do something that pleases him. I feel great because I have an opportunity to serve people like myself...

Joanna: It was not an accident that God brought me to this service. I enjoy doing my obedience. I burst into my patient's flat and wash my hands quickly. My patient sits or lies in her bed, and all I want is to kneel down in front of her to be on the same level with her…

Natalia: By the way, we are trained to work on our knees for the sake of our own safety, first of all. We must be always up and running. There must not be any case when you work hard one day and are completely exhausted the next day. We practise the skills that we will use on duty in the gym of the Christian School run by St. Elisabeth Convent. Given that the conditions that we have to face are not remotely proper ones (there are few people who can afford special beds), we work on our knees in order to be on equal level with the patient, preserve our own health, and help our patients to the best of our abilities.

Larissa: Elderly people lack human interaction. When we visited Rimma Dmitrievna, we talked with her husband, too. He was relieved to be able to tell someone about their life in Bashkiria and how they did subsistence farming there. People miss out on a lot of things because they don't talk with elderly people. Do grandchildren really know what their grandparents are like and what they think?

Victor: We get what we lack — patience, mercy, love, meekness, faith, hope, peace, and joy — when we help the ill. This ministry rescues me from the temptations that surround me, from idleness, from sinfulness. It is so important to stand strong in faith and accept everything that the Lord gives!

Irina: You come to a new patient, and you just don't know what kind of person he or she is, and what his or her health condition is like. As soon as you come, you see it with your own eyes. You cannot just leave that person. You must help him or her: feed him, dress him, and wash him. There is no one except you with that person. How can you leave him? Your conscience won't allow you to. Today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow — you've got to do something every day. I go home thinking what else I can do to help more effectively.

Helena: Interestingly enough, when you work hard in the office, and then help other people as a volunteer, you go home so inspired. It turns out that as much as you exhaust yourself, you get a lot of power back in return.

My relative once asked me, “Helena, where do you get so much vigour, why are you so energetic?” This ministry of a visiting nurse gives me strength to live and help others, and it's enough for everyone I meet.

Irina: One old lady used to meet me with the following words, “Irina, long time no see. It was God who brought you to me.” Then she would go on to say, “I have nothing to give you back. I will sew something for you, rest assured!” In fact, she gave me a whole lot of things. When you come there, you have to do so much! When you leave, you feel the wings behind your back. You feel energised. You feel that there is Someone else with you.

Anna Kovalevskaya: There were many people who called us and wanted to work in our service. Interestingly enough, those who did not believe in God and did not take communion, just left us some time later…

Chapter 3. What Is The Most Important?

Helena: The most important aspect of our ministry is our faith in the Lord. It empowers us. Humane attitude towards human beings is the second most important requirement for our ministry. For example, you have to do hygiene procedures for a female patient. You should prepare her softly, in a delicate manner, so as not to hurt or insult her. She is a human being, too.

Joanna: Our task is not only to clean the bedpan and do the house. We also need to deal with their souls.

Helena: We are not just attendants. We do not only change their nappies. A visiting nurse must feel the other person. The first thing we do before going out to our ministry is praying for the Lord to bless us and show to us what that person needs at a given moment and what we should say to him, how we should approach him.

We ought to treat these other people like ourselves. Nadezhda Konstantinovna's relatives found an attendant for her when she was in hospital; she was crying as she told me how that nurse looked after her, "I want to eat, and I need the plate to be placed on my chest while feeding. She fed me from my side. I complained that I was uncomfortable with it, and she replied, ‘You are wrong. You feel fine.’” Then, when she changed her nappies — mind you, the old lady had just undergone a surgery on her broken hip bone, and she was running high temperature and she also had uretritis — the nurse grabbed her by the painful side. “I told her I felt pain. She dismissed it, ‘You can't feel pain!’ Then I felt pain in my heel, ‘Please look at my heel, what's going on?’ — ‘No-no, everything's fine.’ When a surgeon saw me, it turned out to be a bedsore on my heel.” As a matter of fact, the old lady was discharged from the hospital in a severe condition.

When I first came to Nadezhda Konstantinovna, she was crying. We had a conversation with her, and she came back to life. When I visited her the following week, I saw that she was shining: you just have to say a couple of words to support a person, and they will feel a whole lot better.

Irina: You cannot easily tell what is the most important in our ministry. There are many important aspects to it. Paths that lead to God are different, and so is the meaning of ministry — each person has his own. Most importantly, this choice must be informed.

The fact that our ministry teaches us to be humble is crucial.

Victor: Most importantly, you must be ready to sacrifice yourself for the salvation of your own soul and for the sake of your neighbour. And, of course, for the sake of the Heavenly Kingdom.

Interview by Helena Nasledysheva

November 24, 2017

St. Elisabeth Convent

We continue to publish the materials of Spas TV program My Path To God, where Priest George Maximov interviews people who converted to Orthodoxy. The guest of today’s program is Sergei Vladimirovich Bednenko, Senior Lecturer of the University of Linguistics, a former atheist and an officer of military intelligence service.

Priest George Maximov: Hello! You are watching My Path To God. Today the guest of our program is Sergei Vladimirovich Bednenko, Senior Lecturer at the University of Linguistics. You were born and grew up at a time when most people in our country did not know anything about religion. You were in a similar situation, weren’t you?

Although I never had any negative feelings toward religion, I had absolutely no interest in it.

Sergei Bednenko: Yes, Father George, I grew up in an atheistic environment and never even thought about religion. Before the establishment of the Soviet regime, most of the churches in Western Ukraine where I grew up were Catholic and Uniate. These churches were the only religion-related things I saw when I was a child. We didn’t talk about religion at home. Even when we moved to a house in the outskirts of the city that was next to an Orthodox church, and children would come to us singing Christmas carols, my parents wouldn’t let them in. The kids drew a black cross over our door and stopped coming. Nevertheless, I have some childhood memories related to religion. I remember that if we ever walked into a church with my father, he would always make a donation. Once I asked him, “Why are you doing this? You don’t believe in all that.” He replied, “You know, if we don’t support it, this beauty they have here might cease to exist. All of this would be gone, and I would like it to last.” That was how this purely aesthetic approach to understanding religion was planted in me. That was probably why I never had any negative feelings toward religion. However, I had absolutely no interest in it.”

Priest George Maximov: When did you get the first cues that made you pay attention to religion?

Sergey Bednenko: It happened during my second long-term business trip overseas. I was already a military man, getting ready to become a professional intelligence officer. I was sent on this business trip to a capitalist country in Latin America to get used to living overseas and learn about capitalism. To become an intelligence officer, you need inner freedom and, of course, knowledge. I was preparing for this life very seriously, when I suddenly felt that, using professional jargon, someone was “tailing” me. Once I came home… just imagine me, a steadfast Communist, the builder of new life, coming home and finding some nuns sitting in our kitchen and talking about some strange things to my wife. I asked her, “Why did they come?” She said, “They promised to bring me the Bible in Russian.” I said, “What Bible? What are you taking about? How did they end up in our house?” She said, “I don’t know, they just rang the bell on the door and I let them in.” I thought that this did not happen by chance.

I should say that when you’re preparing for this type of employment, you must have a somewhat different mentality. You must pay attention to details and nuances and be able to make quick decisions in any situation. We even had a saying, “If you met a person once, it is a coincidence, if you met him twice, it is a dangerous coincidence, if you met him three times, it means that you’re being followed.” So when these nuns came to us again, I thought, “This is a dangerous coincidence.” The third encounter happened when I took a bus to go shopping and saw two nuns sitting in front of me. Naturally, they were Catholic, for I was still in that Latin American country. Looking at them, I thought, “The one on the right is middle-aged, maybe she belongs in a convent. Perhaps, she wasn’t successful and needed to make her ends meet and that was why she ended up in the convent. Or maybe she’s praying for her sins. That’s her own business. However, the other nun was young and I thought that she didn’t belong in the convent. She should have a family, give birth, you know, do the things women do, rather than hide in a nunnery.” Suddenly I asked myself, “Could it be that they over there in the nunnery can do something that we secular people can’t do?”

I understood that someone became interested in me, and I never felt this interest before.

Then a small dirty-faced girl walked into the bus and started singing sorrowful songs, asking for alms. At some point, she stopped singing and burst into tears. All passengers, who were mostly middle-aged people (I had a daughter the same age as that little girl) sort of froze and didn’t know what to do. While the nuns who didn’t have any children put aside their prayer books right away and waived the girl to come over. They put her on their knees. I thought, “Now they would give something to her. A candy or money.” But they didn’t have anything, they just petted her on her head and said something to her. Two minutes later the girl was smiling. The passengers also got over their confusion and gave the girl some money. When the girl got off the bus, I thought, “Indeed, there are things that they can do.” Through these encounters, I felt that someone was tailing me. I understood that someone became interested in me, and I never felt this interest before.

This was the first time I understood that faith in God was powerful. Later my entire life proved that, but at that time it only made me think about it. Meanwhile, I continued my work. I was into Dale Carnegie’s social psychology. The main principle of this psychology is, “If you want somebody to be your friend, you have to pay attention to this person.” In other words, turn the attention from yourself to that person. I started implementing this principle and since I got some results, this inspired me. Later, I understood that this was still egotism but with a specific goal, for you were not doing this to help anybody, but to gain something for yourself. I didn’t understand it at that time since all I wanted was to gain something. As I did get some benefits, I gradually really got into this social psychology and started to enjoy it.

I started simply doing little things to help people whenever I could. Sometimes going to hospitals, sometimes helping people move… The more I did it, the more I felt that I was changing. At some point, I realized that those “cues” as you called them did not just happen by accident. I was about to turn 30 and had to make serious decisions about my future. So I did something that predetermined my future relationship with God. I stood up for one person who was overseas and it cost me my career. It was very difficult to do and I was drenched in sweat, understanding that the entire building I have been constructing for so long was about to come crashing down. I went against the management. The person I confronted was a friend of a government minister. Naturally, I was sent home and blacklisted, but inside I was happy, as I knew that nothing bad would happen to me. Indeed, when I returned home, they wouldn’t accept me in the intelligence academy, but I no longer needed that. I went on with my life.

Father George: During that trip, you understood that God exists. What happened afterwards?

Sergey Bednenko: When I returned home, my friend came to visit me. He was a military man to the marrow of his bones, and I was surprized when suddenly he gave me the Bible. Usually, when he came to visit me, he would bring one of two gifts. If he had money, he would bring a bottle of cognac, and if he didn’t have money, he’d bring a bottle of vodka. He never ever brought me anything else. So when he gave me the Bible, it felt very strange. I asked him, “Where did you get this? How did you even think about it?” He said, “You know, some missionaries just handed it to me at the airport. I didn’t want to throw it away, but I don’t really need it. Why should I keep it? I don’t have any books at home anyway. You, on the other hand, have a lot of books. Just put it somewhere on the bookshelf.”

I promised to God that I would change

I thought that this was no accident either and felt that the book was given to me so that I would read it. I couldn't pray then. I opened it at a random page and read the commandment Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor (Exodus 20:16). I remembered that once I slandered a man and he almost hung himself because of me. I had a strong emotional response to these words. I fell on my knees and cried through the night, repenting of my sin. From that moment on, I made a promise to myself that I would never do anything that contradicts elementary moral principles. I promised to God that I would change. That was the breaking point.

The second event occurred when I read about Christ in the Gospel. It really amazed me. I realized that I never saw anything like that in my life, even though I lived overseas for several years and travelled a lot in our country. I thought, “How He must love people, this crowd that was spitting on Him…” Just imagine a person who is idly nibbling sunflower seeds, watching you and thinking “Will he get off the cross or not?” How He must have sympathized with these people and loved them, to pray for them saying, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do (Luke, 23:34), even though He was in pain and was about to die. It turned me upside down. I thought that this was something out of this world, for I never saw anything like that on this Earth. For contrast, I’ll tell a story – When I came back to the Soviet Union, I asked God to show me influential people. Literally two months later, I was already employed in the government of Moscow, working with the senior management and as an interpreter for the Minister of Defence, but there I didn’t see anything like that either. I saw that they were regular people, susceptible to their passions, and they didn’t have any comparable power…

Only later I understood that I should be looking for power elsewhere. When I met some real Christians, true confessors of the faith who were imprisoned during the years of oppression against the Church, I understood that strength indeed was made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Imagine a girl quitting her studies and following a priest sentenced to 20 years of work camps in Siberia. She goes with him and stays there for the entire sentence, helping him with food and other things. He would have died there, if it weren’t for her. After his release or death, she follows another one and that’s how she lives her life. These are the true Christians. I was lucky to meet them and learn about Christianity from them. I wasn’t baptized for a long time, and only from them did I receive my baptism.

Father George: Did you come to Church and receive your baptism right after reading the Bible, or were you still searching for something?

I understood what the main difference between Orthodoxy and other religions was.

Sergey Bednenko: Of course, this did not happen right away, Father George. Following the common secular logic, I decided, “I’ll take Christianity later, it is close and won’t go anywhere.” Just like the Bolshoi Theater in Moscow. Muscovites rarely go there thinking that they will always have time go there some other time. That was what I was thinking. In my search, I went through everything, including Catholicism, Islam, Hinduism, and even spent two years in Vissarion’s sect.1 As you see, this was not a quick journey. I understood what the main difference between Orthodoxy and other religions was. As the apostle Paul said, And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power… Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God. But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him… But we have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:4, 12, 14, 16). I understood why people often wander about and don’t find their path to God straightaway. This happens because they behave as “natural” people rather than spiritual. A spiritual foundation is formed over a long period of time, and people do not understand it right away. Our minds are affected by our sins as if by some kind of dark force. I think it was Seraphim of Sarov who said, “People think that they live by their own will only. It is not so. There several wills that guide a person at the same time. One is a divine will, which guides this person to eternal life, the other is a satanic will, which leads to the person’s eternal demise, and the third will is our own will, which because of our sins is usually closer to the satanic will than to the divine will. That is why our purpose is to defy the satanic will and make all efforts to steer toward the divine will”.

This teaching has existed in the Orthodox Church since ancient times. St. Antony the Great expressed it as early as in the fourth century. When I came across these words, I realized why this spirit of Christ was upheld specifically in Orthodoxy. It is because we rely upon a different reality—the one that you first need to develop in yourself. As St. Seraphim used to say, “Acquire the spirit of peace and thousands around you will be saved.” Without it, you cannot save even yourself, let alone the others. All those gurus, teachers, sects and other religions don’t have this spirit because they don’t have Christ.

Father George: Some might argue that they speak of spirituality too. Especially in India, there is so much spirituality and so much lofty rhetoric about love or understanding the world, etc. How did you come to the conclusion that all of this does not rise above the level of a “natural man”?

Sergei Bednenko: I once wondered if another salvation was possible, other than through your own thoughts and your own ideology. I found the words describing the Savior in the Bible, in the book of the Prophet Isaiah, who lived about 750 years before Christ: For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness… Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. (Isaiah 53:2,4-6). Only Christianity has this. However, to understand it we must draw upon the Gospel and the works of the Holy Fathers. If we draw only upon ourselves and our own minds, then more often than not we end up in a sect or in another religion.

Father George: The words of the Prophet Isaiah you quoted are found in the Qumran Cave Scrolls dated 200 years BC. So this prophecy is proven true even from a textological standpoint. Indeed, such a description of the Savior cannot be found in any other religion. None of the great variety of Hinduist gurus present themselves like that. They present themselves quite differently. But you mentioned Vissarion’s sect. Why did you join it? Its leader, our contemporary, a former policeman, calls himself Christ. Didn’t this bother you?

Sergei Bednenko: It more than bothered me and at first I thought that he was crazy. When somebody calls himself Christ, he is either a megalomaniac or a crook. That was what I thought. So I decided that it would be curious to observe this as an onlooker. So I came there not as his worshipper, but as a person who wanted to see everything up-close and understand what was going on. I got stuck there for two years. I saw everything from the very beginning, including Vissarion’s first arrival to Moscow and all of his subsequent tours. We went on tours ourselves too. Vissarion’s sect had an expertly developed food strategy. The diet was very moderate and protein-free. People here simply lost their own will, let alone the divine will that St. Seraphim spoke of. They fully accepted whatever they were told in the sect. I remember that I already understood everything and wanted to quit, but couldn’t do it. I just felt that I must go there. I cried, but I still went there. I remember it very well. I was sitting on the fence for a long time, helping them in some ways and objecting to other things.

Finally, God arranged for a situation that helped me to make up my mind. One old lady who was a member of Vissarion’s sect sold her apartment and donated the money to the sect. Shortly after that, Vissarion’s assistant called me and said, “Listen, we have a good idea. We are going to the Mediterranean and need an interpreter. You know languages and have a foreign passport. Come with us. We’ll cover all your expenses.” I said, “Where did you get the money? This trip is very expensive.” He answered, “You know, one sister sold her apartment and gave us the money.” They wanted to spend that money on a nice trip to Europe. I refused, of course. I said that no good would come of it. They’d be lucky to come back alive, for God doesn’t forgive such things. Anyway, I quit the sect after that.

Father George: What brought people to that sect? What was Vissarion’s attraction?

Sergei Bednenko: People were attracted to the sect because the idea itself was good and understandable to people with the Soviet upbringing. The idea of unity, cooperation, joint household… Basically, sects promote socialism with a religious underpinning. This warm-heartedness was what attracted people. On the other hand, the sect used some brainwashing tactics that easily got to people who were searching for solutions. Thirdly, and most importantly, people make conjectures and make up things that do not really exist. Also, there were, so to say, lecherous practices in Vissarion’s sect. For example, they believed that if you liked somebody’s wife, you should tell her about it and if she doesn’t mind having an affair with you, you both should tell her husband about it. Seeing your honesty, he should allow you to spend some time together with his wife. This is very serious. People who have any relatives in this sect should seriously think about it for it is not some kind of temporary craziness, it is the death of their soul and body, too.

Father George: Some people believe that they can join a sect and then quit and continue living as they did before. Maybe some people manage to do that, but my experience and observations demonstrate that the more time a person spends in a sect, the more difficult it is for such person to rehabilitate after quitting. It is not easy. For some people rehabilitation continues all their remaining lives. How did you finally decide to choose the Orthodox Church?

Sergei Bednenko: You know, I was exhausted by all this searching and all those false teachings. I was beaten up and lost 25 kg and my wife literally carried me to see one interesting person. Father Anatoly (Berestov) who had just recently been tonsured a monk. We knew him as a Deputy Chief Pediatric Neuropathologist of Moscow. He was an important scientist, a professor. He asked me, “Are you ready for your death? You are quite close to it.” I said, “No, I’m not. I have old parents, and as their only son I need to take care of them and can’t die before they do.” He said, “Ok. This argument is valid.” “Secondly”, I said. “I have small children, so I need to raise them first.” He said, “Also, a valid point. Anything else?” “Thirdly”, I said. “I am not old yet. I don’t know, I think I should have some more time to live.” “Nobody knows about that”, he replied. “You can die at any moment. That is why I will give you one piece of advice. If you want to be saved, don’t go farther than 50 meters from the church fence, then you’ll be saved. If not, you will die. If you really understand this, then maybe you will get better. If you can’t understand that, nothing will save you.” And you know, I never went farther than 50 meters from the church fence. Although there were failures and some very difficult situations. As St. Tikhon of Zadonsk said, “People are wrong in thinking that in Orthodoxy they always live from ascent to ascent. More often people live from failure to failure. The fact that people fail is not the most important thing; however it is important that they find the strength to get up rather than just sit by the road and cry. You can cry, but only while going forward on that road.” For me, this is the main motive that guides me. That is, I always try to go forward on that road.

Father George: I think that on that road you found not only the things to regret?

Sergei Bednenko: The happiness of the journey to Christ is definitely the greatest joy. You know, I saw many aesthetically beautiful things. I saw high mountains, seas and oceans, good food and all other things that people find attractive in their youth. However, the happiness of being a part of the Church cannot be compared to anything. This is the life in Christ, when you are always talking to God, knowing that whenever you do anything, someone is always there for you. Human society does not have it. It happens very rarely. Maybe only in the Christian environment. Because such life is not possible without Christ. This is what I realized. I saw so many miracles in my life…

Father George: Can you tell us about them?

I looked through the eyes of a person who doesn’t want to believe but cannot help but see that the miracles are real.

Sergei Bednenko: I saw people who were cured from cancer… Or Ivan, the drug addict we saved in one of the northern monasteries. He has a family and a child now. He became an absolutely normal person. He was beaten up and left to die, so his sister ran to us, asking to hold a prayer service for him so that he wouldn’t die that night. Or Masha, whose father was dying from heart decease. She was praying all night long and the operation was performed the next day. Then the doctor came to us. We were drinking tea with him and I asked him, “How did the operation go?” He said, “I can’t understand it. I am an average surgeon. I only do typical operations. They don’t let me do heart operations often so I am not good at doing them. However, this time I felt as if an entire crew was working with me. Someone was helping and telling me what to do. When I started doing something wrong, my hands wouldn’t go there as if someone was controlling them.” In the end, the patient was saved, even though they said that his chances of survival were about 5 percent. There were many cases like that. It is absurd when some people say that the miracles are invented by the Church to attract non-believers. I saw all that from an unbiased point of view. I looked through the eyes of a person who doesn’t want to believe but cannot help but see that the miracles are real.

Father George: I remember that 17 or 18 years ago you and I were at a service in church and you brought your relative who unexpectedly witnessed a miracle. It was a typical service in a typical Moscow church, but God singled her out of the few parishioners to show the miracle. When the priest came out with the cross, she saw the light coming out of that cross. I remember her amazement when she told everybody, including myself, about this. She kept saying, “I am a sane person, I am a school principal…”

Sergei Bednenko: She was a physicist and a mathematician…

Father George: It was a shock for her. She never expected to see anything like that.

Sergei Bednenko: Well, that was something… Aunt Rimma, my wife’s aunt, came to that church with a specific purpose. She had to move from Crimea to Moscow, but couldn’t make any headway. I told her, “Nothing will happen unless you attend a church service. Everything is resolved at the service. That’s why we should go to the liturgy and then talk to the priest to get his blessing and ask for advice.” So she went to the service. She wasn’t even paying much attention, but it was the first time she ever attended a service and stood there from the beginning to the end. When she approached the priest and he gave her the cross to kiss (I was standing right behind her), some force pushed her away from the cross and I practically had to catch her. I asked her, “What happened?” She said, “You know, I saw the cross and a flash of light somehow struck me in the eyes and everything was filled with light. I really saw this. This is not some mysticism or my fantasy. I am a reasonable person, a physicist, and mathematician, a school principal, so I am miles away from all these things. I don’t want to make anything up, but this was something that I saw with my own eyes and it really touched me.” She told this to everyone. Then we went to the Church of the Renewal of the Church of Resurrection in Brusov Lane and prayed by the miracle-working icon of St. Spyridon of Tremithus. Shortly after that, her apartment problem was resolved. It is a miracle too, I think.

Father George: Thank God for giving us such evidence of His care for us. Thank you very much for your story.

Sergei Bednenko

was interviewed by Priest George Maximov

Translation by Talyb Samedov

Source: http://orthochristian.com/100600.html

A thief broke into a hermit’s cell one night. The thief didn’t find any valuables so he asked the hermit:

— Where’s all your property?

The hermit smiled and pointed at the sky:

— I’ve hidden everything in the higher house.

There was a monk who lived in the Egyptian desert. He was so tired of temptations that he decided to give up monastic life and go wandering around.

While he was putting on his shoes, he saw another monk who was putting on his shoes in a hurry.

– Who are you? – the monk asked the stranger.

– I’m your own ego, – the answer was. – Wherever you go, I will go there with you.

There was a man who came to his bishop complaining that he was surrounded by cruel and unkind people, and that was why he felt very lonely in this world. The bishop listened to him and said:

– In fact, there are many good people around you. The problem is that people are like mines you have to dig into in order to find the hidden treasury. You can’t do it with a spade or picker. The only tool that you will find useful is called “love”.

That is how one ascetic explained what humility is like:

– All people want to be great but God wants us to be small. You have to kneel down to enter the door that leads into the Heavenly Kingdom.

A foreign tourist visited a famous elder and was surprised to see that the elder’s apartment had just one room packed with icons and books. A desk and a stool were the only items of furniture.

– Where’s your furniture?- the American asked in disbelief.

– And yours?

– What do you mean, my furniture? I’m on a trip. I’m a tourist!

– I’m a tourist, too, – the elder replied.

At Paris there lived a great merchant and worthy man called Jeannot de Chivigni, a dealer in silk, and an intimate friend to a certain rich Jew, whose name was Abraham, a merchant also, and a very honest man. Jeannot, being no stranger to Abraham's good and upright intentions, was greatly troubled that the soul of so wise and well-meaning a person should perish through his unbelief. He began, therefore, in the most friendly manner, to entreat him to renounce the errors of Judaism, and embrace the truth of Christianity, which he might plainly see flourishing more and more, and as being the most wise and holy institution, gaining ground, whereas the religion of the Jews was dwindling to nothing. Abraham answered, that he esteemed no religion like his own; he was bom in it, and in it he intended to live and die; nor could anything make him alter his resolution.

All this did not hinder Jeannot from beginning the same arguments over again in a few days, and setting forth, in as awkward a manner as a merchant must be supposed to do, for what reasons our religion ought to be preferred; and though the Jew was well read in their law, yet, whether it was his regard to the man, or that Jeannot had the spirit of God upon his tongue, he began to be greatly pleased with his arguments; but continued obstinate, nevertheless, in his own creed, and would not suffer himself to be converted. Jeannot, on the other hand, was no less persevering in his earnest solicitations, insomuch that the Jew was overcome by them

at last, and said: " Look you, Jeannot, you are very desirous I should become a Christian, and I am so much disposed to do as you would have me, that I intend in the first place to go to Rome, to see him whom you call God's vicar on earth, and to consider his ways a little, and those of his brother cardinals. If they appear to me in such a light that I may be able to comprehend by them, and by what you have said, that your religion is better than mine, as you would persuade me, I will then become a Christian; otherwise I will continue a Jew as I am."

When Jeannot heard this he was much troubled, and said to himself: "I have lost all my labour, which I thought well bestowed, expecting to have converted this man; for should he go to Rome, and see the wickedness of the clergy there, so far from turning Christian, were he one already, he would certainly again become a Jew."

The Jew took horse, and made the best of his way to Rome, where he was most honourably received by his brethren, the Jews; and, without saying a word of what he was come about, he began to look narrowly into the manner of living of the pope, the cardinals, and other prelates, and of the whole court… Now thinking he had seen enough, he returned home.

As soon as Jeannot heard of his arrival he went to see him, thinking of nothing so little as of his conversion. They received one another with a great deal of pleasure; and in a day or two, after the traveller had recovered from his fatigue, Jeannot began to inquire of him what he thought of the holy father, the cardinals, and the rest of the court? The Jew immediately answered: "To me it seems as if God was much kinder to them than they deserve; for, if I may be allowed to judge, I must be bold to tell you, that I have neither seen sanctity, devotion, or anything good in the clergy of Rome; but, on the contrary, luxury, avarice, gluttony, and worse than these, if worse things can be, are so much in fashion with all sorts of people, that I should rather esteem the court of Rome to be a forge, if you allow the expression, for diabolical operations than things divine; and, for what I can perceive your pastor, and consequently the rest, strive with their whole might and skill to overthrow the Christian religion, and to drive it from off the face of the earth, even where they ought to be its chief succour and support. But as I do not see this come to pass, which they so earnestly aim at; on the contrary, that your religion gains strength, and becomes every day more glorious; I plainly perceive that it is upheld by the Spirit of God, as the most true and holy of all. For which reason, though I continued obstinate to your exhortations, nor would suffer myself to be converted by them, now I declare to you, that I will no longer defer being made a Christian. Let us go then to the church, and do you take care that I be baptized according to the manner of your holy faith."

The Decameron, Novel II (1352-1354)

By Giovanni Boccaccio

Saint Innocent (Veniaminov) of Moscow used the following parable to explain the concept of the Kingdom of Heaven to his parishioners.

– Imagine that you happen to be the sole heir to your rich uncle. That uncle bequeathed to you his luxurious mansion on the top of a picturesque mountain. An introvert that he had been, he had not built a road to his mansion but used a path to get there instead. He left you a map of the mountain with the path marked on it. Therefore, you have to take that path if you want to get to the mansion that you inherited.

This is not unlike what we who aspire for the Heavenly Mansion, which our Lord Jesus Christ bequeathed to us, should do. We should learn which road leads to that place, and what we must and mustn’t do to get there and so forth.

Our map is the Holy Scripture and Orthodox books; the rangers are the pastors of the Holy Church whose duty is to help the faithful and lead them towards the paradise. Our food is God’s grace that strengthens our spirits. The path that leads to the paradise may sometimes be extremely narrow, thorny, and hard to tread, whilst other paths may appear wider and more comfortable. However, you should not trust your eyes. The Lord Jesus Christ and his apostles have forewarned more than once that there is only one road that leads to the Heavenly Kingdom, and that is the road described in the Gospel.

Translated from: https://azbyka.ru/days/

So, the Lord Jesus gives us this possibility to unite with God and return to the primary purpose which God ordained for man.

Therefore He is described in Holy Scripture as the way, the door, the good shepherd, the life, the resurrection, the light. He is the new Adam who rights the wrong of the first Adam.

The first Adam separated us from God with his disobedience and his egotism. With His love and His obedience to the Father, obedience unto death, to “death on the cross,” the second Adam, Christ, brings us back once more to God. Once again He orients our freedom towards God, so that by offering Him our freedom, we unite with Him.

The work of the new Adam pre-supposes the work of the new Eve, the Panagia who put right the wrong done by the old Eve. Eve drove Adam to disobedience. The new Eve, the Panagia, contributes to the incarnation of the new Adam who will guide the human race towards obedience to God. Therefore, as the first human person who achieved Theosis – in an exceptional and, of course unrepeatable, way – the Lady Theotokos played a role in our salvation which was not only fundamental, but both necessary and irreplaceable.

According to St. Nicholas Cabasilas, the great 14th century theologian, if the Panagia, in her obedience, had not offered her freedom to God, had she not said “yes” to God– God would not have been able to incarnate. Once God had given freedom to man, He would not have been able to violate His gift, so He would not have been able to incarnate if there had not been such a pure, all-holy, immaculate psyche as the Theotokos, who would offer her freedom, her will, all of herself totally to God so as to draw Him towards herself and towards us.

We owe so much to Panagia. This is why our Church honours and venerates the Theotokos so much, so that St. Gregory Palamas, summarising Patristic theology, says that our Panagia holds the second place after the Holy Trinity;that she is god after God, the boundary between the created and the uncreated. “She leads those being saved,” according to another fine expression by a theologian of our Church. Recently St.Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain, the steadfast luminary and teacher of the Church, pointed out that the angelic ranks themselves are illumined by the light they receive from the Panagia.

Therefore, she is praised by our Church as “more honourable than the Cherubim and incomparably more glorious than the Seraphim.”

The incarnation of the Logos and the Theosis of man are the great mystery of our Faith and Theology. Our Orthodox Church lives this every day with its Mysteries, with its hymns, with its icons, with its whole life. Even the architecture of an Orthodox Church witnesses to this. The great dome of the churches, on which the Pantocrator is painted, symbolises the descent of Heaven to earth; it tells us that the Lord “bent down the Heavens and descended.” The Evangelist St.John writes that God became man “and dwelt among us” (John 1:14).

So, we represent the Theotokos in the apse of the altar to show that God comes to earth and to men through her, because He became man through the Theotokos. She is “the bridge by which God descended,” and again, “she who conducts those of earth to Heaven,” the Platytera of the Heavens, the space of the uncontainable,who contained the uncontainable God within herself for our salvation.

To continue, our Churches show deified men; those who became gods by Grace because God became man. In our Orthodox Churches we can picture not only the incarnate God, Christ, and His immaculate Mother the Lady Theotokos,but we also show the saints around and below the Pantocrator; on all the walls of the Church we paint the results of God’s incarnation: sainted and deified men.

Thus, when we enter an Orthodox Church and see the beautiful holy icons, this is an immediate experience through which we learn what God’s plan is for man; what is the purpose of our life.

Everything in the Church talks to us about the incarnation of God and the Theosis of man.

By Archimandrite George,

Abbot of the monastery of St. Gregorios on Mount Athos

Source: https://stjohntheforerunnerblog.blogspot.com.by/2016/11/theotokos-she-is-bridge-by-which-god.html

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