A U.S. Christian Moved to Russia to Protect His Children from Moral Decay
"Whether rightly or wrongly I saw a trend toward an
increasing intrusiveness by the government in America to dictate what my
children could and could not be taught in terms of ultimate values"
Last week I received an e-mail from Tudor Petcu,
who is a Ph.D. student in the Faculty of Philosophy of the University of
Bucharest. I did not know him, but he had read my blog on being Russian
Orthodox although I’m not Russian. He asked me if he could do a written
interview with me and ask me questions on how living in Russia has impacted me
and how it is that I became Orthodox.
This would be part of his research for his Ph.D.
He was very gracious and I gladly accepted. I received his permission to post
his questions and my answers on my blog.
First of
all, given the fact that you are an American living in Russia, please let me
know what’s your perspective on Russia from a spiritual and cultural point of
view and how did this country actually influence you as an American.
I came to Russia for the first time in 2002 as a
part of a group that gave financial and other resources to Russian orphanages.
The group I was with focused on the rather small city of Luga. At that time
this city, in which I now live, was very poor. Crime, drugs, and alcoholism
were quite common. The fall of Communism and ten years of the failed leadership
of Boris Yeltsin had taken quite a toll on the people here. Many necessities
were still in short supply. Now, sixteen years later the city is quite
different. The resilience and inner strength of the people of Russia in the
face of adversity is, in my opinion, the characteristic that led to the
recovery of Russian culture and a deepening spirituality. Even in the years
when poverty was common, things like ballet, opera, dramatic arts, and
literature were still very important to the common people. As an American, I
normally associated those interests with those in higher socio-economic groups.
I was quite surprised at the number of Western classics and authors with which
most Russians were quite familiar. I would say I have observed a cultural depth
here that I had not experienced before coming to Russia. There wasn’t the
hunger for immediate gratification that we Americans find so attractive.
Spiritually I think the change has been slower.
Religion, faith, and the Christian spirituality that had been a part of Russia
for practically all its history had been almost completely removed from this
society for seventy years. I now see great changes in this area. From my own
experience, as one who worships in a Russian Orthodox Church in a small
community, I have observed a diversity of age groups in attendance. There are
many children with whom my children play after Liturgy. What has surprised me,
frankly, is the number of older Russians who I know were brought up in the
Communist era, yet are now deeply committed to their church. It is not simply attending
Liturgy, however. They seem very focused and reflective during Liturgy. There
is not the fascination with being spiritually entertained in Russia that
predominates in the more popular “seeker sensitive” churches in America. Obviously,
I cannot read the motives of worshippers whether they are in America or Russia.
I can listen and think through what I have heard from and observed in people of
both cultures. Further, generalizations are always inaccurate at some points,
but I would say the spirituality that dominates in Russia is more of a
reflective and contemplative spirituality than the emotionally driven worship
and spirituality I often encountered in America prior to becoming Orthodox.
So Russia influenced me in these areas by making
me realize how I had let my circumstances dictate my commitments. Russians had
overcome far more than I had ever faced and still came away committed to
appreciating and improving their culture. They had faced having all spiritual
values and truths expunged from their society, but they renewed their
commitment to those values. Many Russians have said they see the Communist era
as having purified Russia. The sufferings for their faith had a positive impact
on the Church and on them as individuals. They influenced me to face my own
struggles this way. Too often I had tried to avoid the difficulties rather than
let them strengthen me. Russian influence had led me to seek spiritual and
cultural values whatever my circumstances.
With your
permission, I am interested to find out more information about your spiritual
personality before becoming an Orthodox. Who were you before discovering
Orthodoxy and what was your view on life and its purpose?
I was raised in a very devout Baptist family in
America. The rural culture of that time was quite anti-intellectual, and as a
teenager I became an atheist (although I told no one). Eventually at the end of
my military service I came to believe atheism was even more intellectually
bankrupt and returned to the church. My faith became central to my life. The
purpose of life was to know God better and to live out what His will for my
life was. After university I went to seminary for a Master’s degree. I was ordained
as a Baptist minister, but my heart was in the academia. I completed my Ph.D.
in Koine Greek and New Testament. I went on to teach in a Baptist University
for 14 years. Over the years my faith became more “intellectualized” and less a
matter of the heart. The purpose of life became more about professional and
academic goals, rather than my earlier goal of knowing God. I went through the
painful ordeal of a divorce, which led me to resigning from the University. I
do not blame being a Protestant for that; I had to accept full responsibility
for my own moral and spiritual failures. It was at that time I was offered a
job teaching English in St. Petersburg, Russia. I left America and lived in
Russia for three years. I married my present wife in St. Petersburg in 2007.
She was raised in a Communist home, but had joined a Protestant church years
before I met her. We were not in church when we married, and spirituality,
sadly, played no part in my life. I think at that time I probably could not
have given any purpose for my life other than the immediate concerns of each
day. We came to America in 2008. My old life in America could not be recovered.
I became quite despondent because I now had a job I did not find fulfilling and
very few of my old friends. Life had lost its purpose. My wife eventually
started going to church—one of many Baptist churches in the area. Later I
joined her, and eventually we found our place among the faithful there. I was
asked to teach a group in Sunday School and again committed myself to knowing
God and doing His will.
Which was
the main reason why you have made the decision to convert to the Orthodox
Church? What exactly have you discovered in Orthodox spirituality?
It is very difficult to say what the main thing
was that led to my conversion. First, my decision to become Orthodox was based
on what I found attractive in Orthodoxy; it was not because I was unhappy with
my Protestant church or life in general. At the time we had no plans to live in
Russia again, but my interest in Russia had been rekindled when I read a book
on the “October Revolution.” I started reading more on Russian history. I also
ordered a conversational Russian course. For some reason, I kept reading
Russian history and trying to learn the basics of the language. Then I came
across a book called “The Art of Prayer,” which was a compilation from writings
of several Orthodox elders (mostly Russian). The majority of the writings came
from Theophan the Recluse and secondly Ignatiy Brianchaninov. I couldn’t put the
book down. I would read their prayers and teachings every morning before work
and before I went to bed at night. They were, obviously, from a time and a
“world” very different from mine, but I knew the life they had in the Spirit
was one I wanted. Something within me resonated with what these men wrote.
Their spirituality was not about increasing the things you did or the number of
people you influenced. It was “putting your head inside your heart.” It was
focusing on the inner life, which would eventually result in exterior changes,
but those were not the point. It certainly wasn’t what Protestants call
“antinomian,” but neither was it focused on listing what was permissible and
non-permissible behavior. I was brought up in a very legalistic atmosphere, and
it had always been difficult for me to overcome that. So when I had failed
completely morally and spiritually I considered myself a failure and had left
the church—and God. In the teachings of these Orthodox thinkers, they simply
placed life on a different and deeper level altogether. There was an honesty
about failures. As one monk said in response to the question on what he and the
other monks did in a monastery: “We fall down, and we get back up; we fall
down, and we get back up.” I found that very refreshing.
I then found an Orthodox Church about 40 minutes
away from my home and started attending Saturday night Vespers. I did not
understand a lot of what was going on there. What I did understand was that
everything there was about God. I sometimes smile when my Protestant friends
ask me, “What was it that attracted you to the Orthodox Church?” I tell them,
“The fact that the Orthodox Church was not trying to attract me.” They were
friendly; they were caring. But worship wasn’t about me. So I would have to say
it was the profound readings from those old Russian writers as well as the
theocentric focus of Orthodox worship that were the primary factors that led to
my conversion to Orthodoxy.
Can you
say that becoming Orthodox, you have lived the most important or the deepest
spiritual revolution?
Yes, I would say that my becoming Orthodox has
been the most significant “revolution” in my Christian experience. The last
time I went to my Protestant church I left thinking about the positive things I
had experienced. The music was profound and enjoyable; the sermon was a great
interpretation of a biblical text; the greetings from others were very genuine.
As I put the keys in the car, I distinctly recall the thought that seemed to
burst in my mind: “But did you really worship God?” I had thought about God; I
had “absorbed” information about God; I had listened to descriptions of Him; I
felt good singing about Him, yet I could not get those Saturday night services
at the Orthodox Church out of my mind. Those daily readings from Theophan and
the Orthodox Liturgy had completely revolutionized my spiritual life.
How and
why in your opinion can Orthodoxy help people gain redemption?
Since I am still fairly new to Orthodoxy this
question is a difficult one. I will offer what I can at this early stage in my
“journey into Orthodoxy.”
How? Orthodoxy can help people gain redemption by
those of us who are Orthodox living out our “theosis” before others. The Spirit
of Christ is within us. Life is about letting the character of God become
manifest through us. That way it is never letting others focus on us. We know
by “theosis” we don’t mean we become gods in essence. The divine “energies” are
present, however, and it is our responsibility to live redemptively with others.
Why? There is a lot of brokenness in relationships
with each other but ultimately with God. In my opinion, we won’t mend the
brokenness by pointing them to a really cool religious experience or spiritual
hedonism. These things are superficial resolutions. The Orthodox people with
whom I came in contact reflected an honest concern that did not point me to
themselves or to their experiences. Their message was simple: “Come and see.”
Again, I came out of a religious culture that emphasized telling people about
Jesus and being ready for any question they might have. We had to win them! We
organize “worship” services with their emotional and spiritual comfort in mind.
Orthodoxy can help people gain redemption because it points them to God.
Orthodoxy does not try and point them to improved social relationships at
church or offer an attractive religious experience. Orthodox doesn’t have those
“traps” in its history or religious sub-culture. Orthodoxy is founded on the
truths of Holy Scripture and how those truths were interpreted by the
Ecumenical Councils and the Church Fathers. It is not about novelty. What
Orthodoxy offers is the Body and Blood of Christ to a world in need of the
redemption found only in Him.
Considering
that you are a convert to Orthodoxy, what would be the most important lesson
that everyone of us should learn in the Orthodox Church?
I suppose that the lesson from my conversion is
that if someone like me who came from a devout Protestant background, gained
ordination and degrees in that tradition, and then squandered it all, can end
up Eastern Orthodox then I think anyone can. I would like Orthodox people to
have confidence in the faith we share. For my Ph.D. dissertation I spent a lot
of time studying polemic in the ancient world–that is, how individuals and
groups from various philosophical and cultural backgrounds argued with each
other. Polemic was when things had reached the boiling point. My conclusions
are that not much was ever gained with those arguments. I had many conversations
and lunches with my priest in America before I converted to Orthodoxy. He never
launched into what was wrong with Protestantism or Protestants. He never
condemned any of the weaknesses he may have seen. He always let me ask my
questions and patiently answered them. It was always about what Orthodoxy stood
for, not who it stood against. I am concerned with a trend I saw in some
Orthodox circles in America which focused on where we disagree with other
branches of Christianity and deciding which ones are really Christian and which
are not. The disagreements are there, but I see no advantage in focusing on
them.
In Russia, I don’t see that as much as I see
another problem which many of the Russian “elders” I have read pointed to: the
need to stay away from superstitions and empty traditions. Orthodoxy has such a
great appreciation for tradition. I think that is wonderful. Traditionalism,
however, focuses on aspects of one’s culture or ethnic heritage which may have
nothing to do with the faith. Likewise, old ideas and activities that are
rooted more in paganism than the Christian faith ought to be left outside our
way of thinking as believers. We must remember the mother of all virtues is
humility. There is nothing about national or ethnic pride that leads to
spiritual strength or virtues, whether it be American or Russian pride.
In
Conclusion:
In conclusion I can say our family now feels very
positive about our move to Orthodoxy and to Russia. Joining the Orthodox Church
in America was one factor that would ultimately influence us to move to Russia,
although we did not see it that way at the time. As I indicated earlier, I had
been studying the Russian language and Russian history but only because I found
these interesting, not because I had any inclination to move back to Russia.
When we became Orthodox, we had no plans to return to Russia.
While there were various factors in our decision
to move, the one area that forced the issue was our continued sense of
alienation from the direction in which American culture was going in terms of
morals and faith. The “transgender” issue became the spark I suppose. It was
not just the issue itself, it was the cluster of ethical issues which made it
difficult for those of us who hold to traditional Christian morals to be
treated fairly.
Of course we knew the story of how the couple who
ran a Christian bakery and could not with integrity bake for a homosexual
wedding had their lives ripped to pieces. Now it seemed the decision was final
that gender identification was more a psychological state than a biological
fact. A mother in a department store near where we lived reported her little
girl being approached in an inappropriate manner by a biological man who
“identified” as a woman. The store had let it become public knowledge they
would not enforce rules on who entered what restroom. The crucial concept of “tolerance”
was applied in a highly inconsistent manner by the cultural watchdogs.
When we started considering our move to Russia I
studied contemporary Russia as much as I could. I studied how Russian students
performed on standardized international exams as well as other aspects of
education in Russia.
We wanted our children to go to public schools
because we believed it was the most efficient way to learn the language. I saw
that President Putin and his education ministers were unambiguous in their belief
that gender identity and other issues related to sexual practices were not the
job of the schools or the government. One had the freedom to be homosexual in
Russia, but anyone who was openly homosexual did not have the right to teach
children or engage in public affection with his or her partner.
Further, Putin was not afraid to be seen with the
Patriarch of Moscow in a joint statements on abortion restriction and other
“hot topics.” In America our son had a homosexual teacher who openly talked
about what he and his partner did on weekends or whatever. Whether rightly or
wrongly I saw a trend toward an increasing intrusiveness by the government in
America to dictate what my children could and could not be taught in terms of
ultimate values.
I did not find those values to be consistent with
what we believed as an Orthodox family. The trend was moving further away from
many of the shared cultural values which I had grown up with in America toward
views I hardly recognized as intellectually or psychologically responsible. In
Russia, the trend was in a very different direction. As strange as it seemed,
the culture that we in America had once called “godless and immoral” was moving
toward one in which an Orthodox family could flourish. I couldn't dictate which
way America would go, but I could decide where my family would go.
Interview
conducted by Tudor Petcu
Interviewee:
Hal Freeman
Source: https://russian-faith.com/story-us-christian-who-moved-russia-save-his-children-moral-decay-n1423
