Humankind searched for God, its Creator, for a
long time. Submerged by the darkness of sin, it called upon the Heaven. Moans,
cries, screams, suffering and illnesses filled the face of the earth; blood,
sweat, and tears soaked it through. People were trying to find the rescue from
death. However, when the Lord came to them and opened His embrace, people were
frightened at the sight of such proximity of God, of such divine love and
beauty.
People had wanted to find a God in order to
tremble at His sight and serve Him as slaves, but the Lord came to them as a
defenceless Baby, and His entire life on earth was devoted to serving people.
Man was looking for God on the throne of earthly rulers but he found Him in a
poor cowshed. In His last minutes on earth, the Lamb of God, who appeared to
people in order to teach them to live with God, takes all our pain, sorrows,
and wounds on Himself. The world did not accept God; the world crucified Love. But
Love won because Love never dies. The world turned its back on God but the Lord
was praying for those who crucified Him, “They are not aware of what they are
doing, forgive them.” The Lord never ceased to love us humans, and He made a
miracle before His Passion — through the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist during
the Last Supper, He united with each one of those who were with Him. This
moment of Communion is impossible to perceive. Everything that a person can
embrace with his or her reasoning is situated on earth. Here the Lord gives us
eternal and imperishable love that tramples down death, that triumphs over the
world and the sin. This heavenly gift makes us immortal, if only we believe
that we are God's kin, that we are immortal, if only we are not afraid of the
road that lies beneath the feet of those who are eager to fight with sin inside
their hearts and to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
That road means constant
suffering due to the sin that dwells inside our souls and does not want to die
out. It is alongside with that sin that our passionate, corrupt and transient
old self dies. Its death may take years. Not just great ascetics but each
Christian who professes Christ, joins the Church, and becomes a part of the
Body of Christ, is bound to die. This death is painful and this life is an
ordeal which only courageous, humble, and pure souls can pass. By dying for the
sin, we are born for God. As she gets closer to God, the person distances
herself from the world, and her soul that has seen the Light of the Love of
Christ feels that the world of sin, the world that is violent in its core, the
world that considers love to be insane, is alien to her. Once God's grace finds
its way into a person's heart, it makes it ache forever. That person's heart
can no longer be immured by the sin; it suffers as it encounters the sin, and
can only be comforted by the Heaven, not the earth. The life of a person who
has encountered God changes; all joys, lures, and attractions of this world
turn into a prison for the heart that yearns for God. We lift up our hearts,
but there is sin inside our hearts, and it is this sin that we have to cut off
with a knife of faith and repentance, with a knife that tears us apart. We have
to bid farewell to the sinful part because it is temporary and cannot go into
the Kingdom of Love ruled by the Eternal God.
When a person receives the Communion, she burns
down the sin but there is the devil hiding behind the back of every communicant
and waiting for the moment when he can take revenge on the person. The devil
does his best to trick us and lead us astray, using our bodily infirmities, so
the life of a Christian becomes a struggle, an “invisible war” against the
“prince of this world”. The world attracts the person, while God calls us into
the Heavenly Kingdom that begins inside one's heart when, in spite of the
horror of the sin that is revealed to those who come to know God, a person
breaks free from the darkness. Our souls knock at the door of the Kingdom of
Heaven, looking for the Saviour. It is the Lord who is the Saviour of souls.
The more one can see her sinfulness, the more one can see her impurity, the
more love her soul may accommodate, because it longs for salvation.
During every Liturgy, a church is filled with
grace; Angels and Saints take part in this Feast of Love. However, it is so
difficult sometimes for a person to get to the Holy Chalice; it is hard to put
up with the fact that it is not her own merit but God's Love, God's forgiveness
and humility that rescue her from death. Time relentlessly flies forward to the
point at which the Eternity starts. We have met God, and this fact has to
change our lives, our world outlook, our blood and flesh, and make us able to
love, hope, trust, to be patient, humble, and grateful. We cannot forget about
our encounter with God; we cannot un-learn that there is a different kind of
life, that is pure and beautiful. Our souls feel sad, and everything without
God becomes useless. The person starts to seek for the meaning of her life only
in God.
We escape death and we see life but this life
demands our choice. God is waiting and calling each one of us, which is why we
will never be able to justify ourselves with our ignorance or unpreparedness.
We will be held responsible for our decision either to live for God and follow
in the footsteps of Christ, or turn our backs on Him and pursue our own ways
that lead not to the Heaven but into the depth of the earth, into the grim
grave. A soul that did not get to know God, did not humble herself down, and
did not answer the call of her Creator, will be buried in darkness forever.
CONVERSATION