An Epistolary Examination of the Call to Lifelong Celibacy
From the editor: This epistolary examination
of the call to lifelong celibacy, such as is embraced by monks and nuns,
centres upon the character of that calling as a spiritual gift. An
understanding of the proper Christian view of celibacy is ever more important
in a world that continues to accord it less and less value, and view it more
frequently than not as aberrational.
The
notion of celibacy is one hard for the modern mind to understand, still less to
appreciate. To what end might a man or woman rebuke (so it seems to many) the
rich gift of the married life? For what reason might the human person embark
upon a life that seems to 'fail to appreciate' the marvel of this type of
precious relationship? Since many stumble at the weight of these and similar questions,
so do many dismiss all together that 'other' way of life whose motivations seem
so foreign, so unapproachable. In the conceptual struggle of contemporary man
to comprehend a manner of living divergent from the 'mainstream' with which he
is familiar, that whole way of life is all too often dismissed with the
arguments that seem unable to support or defend it. Little does this modern
man, who prides himself on the breadth of his understanding and the scope of
his embracing acceptance, realise how truly closed his mind can be. Following
the example of millions throughout history who have shunned and disparaged that
which is not understood or personally appreciated, modern man regards the
notion of celibacy as flawed, defective, at its core a distortion of the good
and the fullness of human life.
There is
little we can do to change this view which predominates in the contemporary
world. A people that closes its eyes and stops up its ears to the unfamiliar
will not be swayed by many words or patterned arguments. It is possible to have
ears, but not to hear; to have eyes, but not to see. Understanding cannot be
forced. Changes of heart come more gradually, more mystically. But we may, we
must, reinforce in ourselves the understanding of realities which the world
around us may not accept. There is a higher judge, a far greater standard, than
the opinions of the society of men. When we live according to the truth of His
standard, then shall the world come gradually to see through our lives what it
might not otherwise accept from our lips.
And so
with the calling of celibacy, we must not permit our hearts to be turned by a
world which accords it no value. We must understand and always appreciate,
cherish, the breadth of the love of God which gives divergent gifts to His
precious children. And here the heart of our mystery: gift. As much as the
blessing of the sacramental married life is known so to be, so must we come to
understand, first of all, that the celibate life is, too, a gift. Only when it
is so approached, only when it is so conceived, can it properly be
comprehended. The heart of Christ, which accords all men their spiritual gifts
through the person of the Holy Spirit, is the true source of the celibate
vocation. Spiritual things come only from the Spirit, and a divine gift is
always something given, when and to whom God Himself wills. To call celibacy a
gift is to affirm that which is all too often forgotten in contemporary life:
that it has its root and source in the divine life of God—that it has its
manifestation in the person of such an individual as this same God has created,
chosen, and formed to journey into the Kingdom by such a way.
From the
holy voices of the Fathers of the Church we have been taught, time and time
again, that this life, this calling, is not for all. Saint Paul, himself a
great lover of the celibate way, affirms nothing less when he says: 'I wish
that all men were even as I myself'—that is, that all could be celibate. But
then he quickly adds, 'But each one has his own gift from God, one in this
manner and another in that' ({bible}1 Cor 7.7{/bible}). Only those to whom God
has given this gift may truly possess it, and only such a one should endeavour
to embrace it personally. Just as a man who has not been given the gift of
prophecy will never be a prophet, and as a woman who has not been given the
gift of visions will never be a seer, so the individual who has not been given
the gift of celibacy will never truly be a celibate. It is a holy way of life,
but it is not the exclusive way of life. It is a gift given to some through the
love of God, which neither debases nor exalts them in relation to their
brethren to whom God has given the gift of the call to marriage. God's gifts
are not to be 'rated'. All are holy blessings.
In
appreciating this reality of celibacy as a spiritual gift, we are able to
address and to quell in our hearts many of the concerns the world bears toward
this life. First, and perhaps the most insidious among the views of the world,
is the belief that the way of celibacy stands in judgement of the way of
marriage. There is fear in our contemporary culture, that an acceptance of the
notion of celibacy equates to an acceptance of a tacit devaluation of
marriage—that the celibate man looks spitefully on his married brother and the
celibate woman scorns her married sister. But it is the world, not the holy
Church, which approaches our topic with such an 'either-or' attitude; for how
can one who truly views both the married and celibate ways as gifts of one and
the same loving God, set one in opposition to the other? How can he be serious
of his faith, who would receive one gift from Christ, but call another evil?
No, the value and sanctity of all things is in the Giver, who by His radiant
energies makes all gifts holy. Celibacy and marriage both have their essence in
Him who draws all things to life. How striking to our expectations that some of
the most poignant phrases ever composed in support of and love for the married
way, have come from the pens of celibate monks, nuns and Apostles. Such
individuals know how deep, convicting and abiding God's gifts may be within a
human life, and how precious can be that embodiment of Trinitarian love that is
made manifest in the gift of Christian marriage. But they magnify a gift they
know is not their own. Their own life is rooted in a different gift, another
way, and it is this gift that receives the personal love of their own hearts.
Saint
Paul, the great Apostle, taught us well concerning the varieties of spiritual
gifts, that they are numerous, divergent, yet all precious and divinely
personal. He himself received the wondrous and exceptional gift of the apostolate
and therefore was in a position, it might be thought, to place one gift above
another in the manner that some gifts bring authority over the exercise of
others (cf. {bible}1 Cor 12:1-31{/bible}). But it is our same Saint Paul who
reminds us of the inherent value of all the gifts of the Lord, precisely
because they are gifts of the Lord. Because we know to call celibacy a gift, so
we know not to use it in judgement of other gifts. The world which sees in
Christian celibacy a despisal of the married way, sees but the illusion of its
own misunderstanding.
Secondly,
our understanding of celibacy as a gift helps us to appreciate the fact that
this life is not a negative, but a positive calling. All too often is celibacy
described in terms of negation: the celibate is one who 'lacks' a spouse, who
'goes without' marriage, who 'suffers the absence' of a partner. But gifts are
not matters of negation, they are rooted in the active receipt of otherwise
un-possessed blessings. Celibacy is only a negative state when viewed from one,
specific angle. How often does modern man stop to think of celibacy, even
attempt to think of celibacy, as the embracing of a different kind of positive?
Perhaps never, certainly not often; and yet this is the very message of
celibacy as gift. The celibate man may live without a wife, but he possesses
the great gift of being wed solely to Christ, of having none for the object of
his intimate love than his own Creator. She who lives in celibate devotion to
God vests herself in the same manner of life embraced by the Son who walked on
this earth with neither spouse nor mate, yet wed Himself to all the world as
the perfect Bridegroom for a waiting bride. Are not such things positive, not
states of deprivation but of rich fulfilment? The celibate does not see his
life predominantly as one of 'going without', but one of going with Christ in a
different way. Yes, there are sacrifices made, oftentimes severe in form and
nature, but this is no less true in a holy marriage. In the requirement of great
sacrifice, the callings are the same. Their distinction lies in the manner, not
the quantity, of the offering. Only when we are truly, deeply biased, do we
fail to see that both gifts require tremendous personal sacrifice, yet from and
through this sacrifice grant many rich blessings.
The
celibate's call is to walk toward Christ in a different manner than his married
brother. Due to the unsearchable wisdom and love of God, he is called to a type
of journey into the Kingdom that is more socially solitary—but he is never
alone. The celibate, too, believes that 'it is not good for man to be alone';
but let us not be so naive and closed-minded as to think that marriage is the
only way to be 'together'. The celibate joins himself to the world in a
relationship of no single intimate union with another, that through his one
union with Christ, and through Him the Spirit and the Father, he may be lover
and companion to all. It is a very different call than to the blessed state of
marriage; but a call is always, by its nature, social.
Celibacy
is a positive calling, and we are reminded of this when we appreciate its
nature as divine gift. We find here, too, reassurance of the fullness of life
to be had in such a calling. Society may be eager to decry the celibate way as
one in which the individual 'misses out' on the fullness of life attainable in
marriage, but in so doing, our modern world only shows more clearly its failure
to understand the nature of the gifts of God as effective personal realities.
The richness, the wholeness and the completeness of life do not come from the
adherence to any social or relational model: they come from personal union with
God. Such union is always and only available to man through the gifts given him
by our precious and loving Lord; and so individual fullness comes from
realising, embracing and fostering within us the gifts we, and not any other,
have received. Many receive the gift of the married vocation, and to these the
richness of union with God comes, in part, through that gift's actualisation in
a holy and sanctified marriage. Not to embrace the gift is to wage battle with
God, who knows better than man what life is most suited to him. And this same
concept is equally true of him who has received the gift of celibacy: only in the
gift's embrace will such a person ever truly know the richness and fullness of
life as God has set it before him. No other way shall ever satisfy the longing
in his heart, even if that other way is that which brings fulfilment and union
to a hundred million others. It is not his way. To live a celibate life is, for
the one who has received this gift, the context of his journey into union with
God.
Our life
in Christ is the true soul of our being as human persons. We live in Him
through His coming to us as man—the divine Man to whose life we were joined
when, through the mystical power of the Holy Trinity, we were baptised in the
same waters that flowed over His own flesh and sealed with the same Spirit that
soared over the creation formed in Him. It is to this life that we must attend
with all diligence and care, working to attain the discernment that will enable
us to see and to recognise the unique and precious gifts God has given to each
of us personally as His own priceless children. Let us never succumb to
societal pressures that would have us walk one way or another based upon the
comforts and preferences of a troubled world. Let us never be swayed into
judging or pre-determining the gifts of God, which only He has the right to
determine and give. We must find in ourselves the light of Christ which calls
us toward Himself, and see through its illumination the path by which He calls
us to His side. Whether it be by the celibate or married way, our response
should be only joy—and great joy at this. How can we do anything but rejoice
when our Maker shows us the road which He has fashioned especially between us
and Him? Shall we once again take from the Tree of Life the fruit that seems
sweetest to our senses, rather than the food sprung forth specifically for our
growth and sanctification? May our societally-induced 'preferences' never cause
us to scorn our gift through longing for another. May God give to us the
patience and the openness to discern which gift we have been given; and when we
have found it, to follow Him in that gift. If we are thus faithful to Him and
Him alone, surely our wise Lord will bless our lives with richness beyond
imagining and fullness beyond expectation; for He is a good and loving God who
knows and desires what is best for His children.
May we
always have His blessing.
Source: http://www.monachos.net/content/monasticism/spirituality/94-a-brief-word-on-celibacy
